I have a TEENAGE girl..!!!! I Need advice...PLZ.?

Well I have a 12 yr. old daughter. I do not allow her to have a boyfriend. I feel she is way to young. We do talk about boys at school, like if she thinks a boy is cute or whatever she wants to talk about. We are real open about any subject...sex, drugs and boys.


Well i let her have her own myspace. I decided to look through her trash of messages. I found out that she JUST got a new boyfriend. Well....I know if i dont want to find out anything then dont snoop, but im nosey..lol. I got really mad. I said some really mean things , cuz i reacted instead of thinking first. She told me she really wanted to tell me but she was really scared. I almost died inside. I talk to her so much about everything so we could have an open relationship. She also knows she cant have a boyfriend.


Now that i know that she was to scared to talk to me, i feel real bad. Now i know that she will have a boyfriend with or with out my consent. So how do i come to terms with letting her have a boyfriend or shouldnt i?I have a TEENAGE girl..!!!! I Need advice...PLZ.?
at 12 she's just curious. Having a ';boyfriend'; at that age mean holding hands in the hallway. It's innocent so I see no reason why you should forbid her. It seems like you two have a good relationship but ofcourse she'd be afraid to tell you about him if you're forbidding her to have a boyfriend! And seriously, she's 12! She can't get anywhere without an adult so dates can be strictly supervised - like a movie night while you are home or school function. Staying open minded is the only way to keep your relationship strong and she will feel less compelled to lie to you.





Good luck!I have a TEENAGE girl..!!!! I Need advice...PLZ.?
At 12 years old, her having a boyfriend is just something to talk about with her friends, totally harmless, and will be for about two more years.


After her 14th birthday, you would be wise to insist that she only have boyfriends, and there will be many, that are in her same grade and age group.


When you allow a 14 year old daughter to have boyfriends that are maybe two years older, you can't make up rules fast enough to manage the situation.






Well first, I don't agree with you talking to her about boys, and then denying relatiosnships, because it confuses her. I would just let her. I had a boyfriend when I was twelve, and we stayed together until about a month ago (I'm 15 now). As long as she understands the boundaries, its ok. And before some bimbo gets on you for letting her have a myspace, those people need to shut up, because the age is 13, a step ahead from 12.
i don't know what you can do to make it better.





but she probably just lost your trust because you didn't trust her enuf to leave some privet conversations between HER and HER friends to herself.





myspace for teenagers is the one place where people can talk to there friends without worrying about what to say becuse they dont want other people to read it. you need to understand that teenagers need at least a little of there own space sometimes.
My girl is 16...in my experience ';No'; and ';don't'; don't translate well into their language. They will do everything they can to hide the fact they are going against your wishes. When she is doing something I dont agree with, I let her talk, I interject my opinion at critical moments, and usually she makes the right decision.
She will just continue to be with him even if you do say no. ALL teenagers have a rebellious streak. Just let her stay with him. Ask to meet him. Be open about it, as if you didn't it would put pressure on your relationship, and affect it in the future.





Let her keep the boyfriend. It will benefit your relationship in the future :D


Email me if you want to know anything else (:


Good luck (:
just let her theyll breakup in a week.


she's just curius as to what its like to have one. her friends might have one and she feels left out. they just think its something cool. once she sees how much work it is, she won't want another one for a while.
You need to trust children once and a while.


It was really rde for you to just snoop like that!


I sue she doesn't do that to you. Trust and loyalty works both ways!
YOUR A BAAAD MOM!


how do you know her myspace password.


duuude, wtf?


thats an invasion to her privacy.


if i saw this question, and i was your daughter, id get mad.


youd better hope she doesnt find this :D
Tell her you are sorry.


Its okay, having a boyfriend at age 12 is basically holding hands, possibly kissing after a couple months, but nothing more.
Be careful. Some guys out there are really manipulative to inexperienced girls such as your daughter and use ';love'; to get in their pants.
why does she need your consent to have a boyfreind? if she wants one she's gonna get one with or without your consent.


she's just growing up and she wants to have one
Trust her.





Live. Laugh. Love.
I think that you can also talk too much about things. Perhaps because you always pressure her with these things and forbid her to have a boyfriend, she's scared to tell you because she'll think she's letting you down. Every child has things that they are scared to tell their parents at least once or twice. It has nothing to do with the parents themselves.


I can understand why you think that twelve is too young to have a boyfriend, but it completely depends on your daughter. If she's still a child really, or ready to have a boyfriend. Because that's different with every child.


What I would do if I were you, is probably allowing her to have a boyfriend (if she promises to be honest to you, and not lie about such a thing) but you can set up rules together. Just both sit down and each say what you want out of this relationship of your daughter. That way you can set limits and boundaries, but give her a little more freedom.


Also I can get it that you are concerned, but you really shouldn't snoop around in her stuff. You wouldn't like it either if someone did that to you, would you?





What you need to do now is go to your daughter, tell her that you're sorry for looking in her stuff and yelling--but also that you were simply upset that she went against you. Tell her that it’s not alright to lie, and that she can truly tell you anything. Then you can have a calm talk about it and set up the rules.





I hope this works for you both! And good luck!



As a teenager myself i no it must be hard on her.Im 14 and my mum has always alowed me to have boyfreinds and i respect her becasuse of that. But im still a respectable child and i no what ui can and cant do.





i understand that you need to be cxarfull about what she gets up to but at her age having a boyfreind isn't seroiuse and if it is then you do need to talk to her.





you said you to are very open so this means she trusts and repects you but you need to give her a little more freedom.





I would sujest that you tell her your sorry but explain why you don't want her to have a boyfreind and im sure that she'll apologise back. you have a nice relationship between you and your daughter and you should try your hardest to keep it that way. especialy as now she is getting older.
There's a strange, strange line with teenagers, especially teenage girls. All of my friends and my mother-in-law have had this problem with their daughters. Right around puberty they go through a phase where they have to be as much like their peers as possible. They get moody and secretive sometimes, and they test limits to an aggravating extent.





Here's what seems to work among friends and family: tell your daughter you're disappointed she didn't feel comfortable discussing chaning the boyfriend rule with you. From now on set firm boundaries around the big things- drugs, unprotected sex, not letting you know where she has been- and try to be realistic about the smaller things. Tell her what you expect from her, that you expect her to respect her parents and herself, that you expect responsible behavior from her, but let her know that if she slips up you want to be the person she calls first. Be honest with her about the effects of drugs and alcohol. Let her know that not all girls are having sex at her age, but that there are some and in my experience they regret starting so early. When she does decide to start she needs to know she can come to you for condoms or pills so she doesn't end up pregnant.





My sister once got herself drunk at a party and, instead of driving herself home, called home to say she either needed a ride or was going to spend the night. The next day we all had fun shouting in her ear and making a big family breakfast to make her nauseated. She rarely drinks at all these days.





I hope this helps you. I'd be pretty worried in your shoes.
she is old enough to have a boy friend. he comes to your house when you are at home with them. go to the mall to the movies. but with some one with them. kids today grow up way faster than they did when we were there age. you can read right here about little girls her age getting pregnant. you can't blame it all on the kids. some one needs to watch the kids. they have to much freedom. you sound like a good mom. good luck.
First, you have every right to look through her messages, email, etc.! You are her mother and are concerned about her safety and well-being. My son is 18 and I still look through his email now and then.





Don't worry about her being afraid to tell you. The reason she was afraid is because she knew how you felt about it. It's totally up to you whether she has the boyfriend or not, but personally I would put a stop to it. She is WAY too young in my opinion.
I think you should let her, I mean if she doesn't know him then you shouldn't. But, you can never stop her from falling in love with someone, it's impossible even if she acts like it deep inside she does feel it.


If she can talk to you about stuff then she knows you're there for her. I mean but not letting your child have a boyfriend it just seems mean, like you don't want them to be happy in love, remember love doesn't come at a particular age! It just comes at any time! I mean no wonder she was scared! I mean she feels something and she loves this boy and loves her mum. She just didn't want to disappoint you. She perhaps thought ';If I tell Mum,she's going to be upset I rather let her be happy'; She perhaps didn't tell you to not make you upset.
Your daughter is more mature than you are. Tell her you're sorry for the way you behaved and you'll support her no matter what she does. And from now on stay out of her myspace. It's ok to be her myspace friend, but stay out of her deleted messages.