Saturday, July 31, 2010

Can someone please give me relationship advice??? This isnt some teenage problem.?

OK this may turn out kinda long but I hope someone takes the time to read it. My gf and I have been dating for almost a year (11 months). I am 21 yrs old and in college. We met over a year ago and began dating pretty much right away. We are very different people when it comes to our personalities but have lots of similarities in the way we were raised and the way we live.





I will admit that this is by far the longest relationship I have ever had (she's actually my only real gf ever). For many yrs I simply jumped from girl to girl and never stayed very long. I like women and for some reason women like me too. But she was very different from what I am used to so I stayed with her this long. I do feel like I love her and I've told her. We have even discussed the possibility of getting married one day. She tells me that for her I am ';it';. Our relationship is pretty great. We have problems and some of them are big but we have always decided that we want to be with each other.





We both recently moved out of our parent's house and got our own places to finish our degrees. And thats where I noticed the problems.





I'm gonna be completely honest here. I just ';don't feel it';. Thats the best way I can put it. I dont feel the want of being in the relationship anymore or the passion during sex. I do not miss her when she's gone and sometimes feel better when I'm alone. Don't get me wrong I do care about her very much and would do anything to make her happy. But sometimes I think thats the only reason that I have stuck around this long. I do not know if these feelings have arisen because of our relationship or if it is a result of the big move and total change in lifestyle and new city and everything. The truth is that I have no one here except for her.





I need to know if I should tell her most of this stuff and ask her if we can take a break and see if were better off by ourselves. I know that doing that is a total gamble and I could be destroying the best relationship I have ever had.





The problem comes from the fact that she is very dependent emotionally on me. She openly admits that. I know that she loves me more than I love her. To be honest although she is beautiful, I am the better looking of the 2. She is also not as social as me so she has trouble making friends. In the past year her only new friends have been the ones that I already had or made. And I feel like she will need me if we were to break up.





I need to know what you think is the best thing to do. Do I talk to her about this and call for a break? just break up? suck it up and see how it goes?





If we separate I will miss her dearly but for some reason I think I would be happier alone. She thinks everything is going great right now so this whole thing would be a shock to her. I know she is much more commited to this relationship than I am.





Please help me out with your opinions. BUT PLEASE NO HIGH SCHOOL PEOPLE THAT THINK THEY KNOW STUFF ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. Adults only thanks.Can someone please give me relationship advice??? This isnt some teenage problem.?
I think you answered your own question in the statment ';I think I would be happier alone.'; This is your life too, and as important as it is to let her down gently, know that you only get one chance so make the most of it. Don't get stuck in a r/s you aren't happy in... live! Things are going to be hard for awhile and really crappy/sad, but time will heal the hurt. Good luck.

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