Another teenage love poem- need advice?

Black hole;My Heart





falling up and out of Love


Its merry mouth frozen in ploy


Swallowed me whole, my conscious dove-


Behemoth feeding on my joy


No time to pass and heal the wounds


No darkness blanketing my pain


Hid in my stole 'neath screens of rood


Your voice in echoes sharp as fangs


Memories of touch-as scathing as the sun;


A million of them burnt in lust


Now finding it so...cumbersome


All your attentions on my bust


The face (facade) of Love, that grins


Its teeth egest false securitites


Their shine a mirror to my sins


A Goddess blind in ecstasy


My eyes cannot see what I want to see


My lips- what i want to taste,


Through this rippling void Love's mask has cracked


and behind it? empty space.





danka Yahoo answers peopleAnother teenage love poem- need advice?
I honest to god do like this =]


I don't know how you normally choose your choice of words in your poems, but keep in mind that intelligent-sounding words can be mistakend for many definitions to an average person here in the world.


No one is DUMB, and intelligence is something i think everyone looks up to.


If those choice of words do pour out of your mouth and are stuck in your head, then keep on writing these kind of poems!


But if you are only AWARE of the words and only use it when writing a poem, just remember that a poem comes from the soul.


Everything that's in you.


I truly love this poem =]


Put a piece of yourself in all of your poems.


I know you do.


Choose your choice of words wisely and look at it in not only 1 point of view, but someone else's view.


Put yourself in other people's shoes and if you are confident with your poem from that point of view, then it'll not only reach out to your soul, but other's a swell.


It's great to show the world a piece of you, so I admire that.


Keep on writing%26lt;3Another teenage love poem- need advice?
wow... thats good