im gonna meet my relative who's 16 and her sister 14 i dint know what to talk about and what to avoid??
what places should we go to?
and finally what presents should i bring?Im meeting a teenage relative .. advices?
You need not be self conscious or over awed by any of your relations with whom you did not have have any prior acquaintance. Be natural and move with them easily. Make them at ease. Unless they are very imperious, show your love and affection to them, as you would to your friends.Im meeting a teenage relative .. advices?
you can bring any kind of girlie things-go to the store 'Claire's'-they have wonderful stuff that girls like-ask the sales clerk to help you-they will love everything. as for where to go, kids love movies, and they love going out for burgers. once you get there I'm sure that they will let you know what they like doing. i wouldn't get too worried about this-I'm sure you will have a wonderful visit with them. just relax and enjoy the visit.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I'm a teenage girl having trouble with a shy guy who knows i like him, i dont know what to do. dating advice?
We liked each other at the same time a couple months ago, but then summer came and we didn't talk for a couple months. Now that school has been in session for a while i have realized that my feelings have resurfaced and finally got the courage to tell him a couple days ago. Now i don't know what to do. i don't know if he still likes me or if he's ever going to acknowledge the fact that i like him. he's really shy and i didn't expect him to come to me first, so i went to him and told him how i feel, and he was so shy that he just nodded, said 'okay' and kind of walked away. i don't have a lot of experience with guys and so i was wondering what i can do about this situation because i'm sick of waiting, ive been waiting for 6 months.I'm a teenage girl having trouble with a shy guy who knows i like him, i dont know what to do. dating advice?
Coming from a shy guy myself, he'll come around. Try to find out what his hobbies are and study on them. If you can connect on a fun level, he'll open up and be more friendly. Music, art, television, movies, anything like that would do.
Also, don't be afraid to ask him out. And as a guy, he won't say no.I'm a teenage girl having trouble with a shy guy who knows i like him, i dont know what to do. dating advice?
If hes shy, talk to him through either email, text or msn.
This way he can talk to you without even having to open his mouth so you will get a answer for sure.
If you cant get him on any of them, then you will have to find out through either his friends you go up to him again and just ask him out right.
Make sure you get a answer from this kid or you will just spend the rest of your time trying to work out.
Another way is to ask him to go out with him to somewhere like the cinema or just hang out.
So you will get to know him on your own, and he will get to know you too.
It will also help him work out his feelings for you, and give him more confidence around you.
So go ask him as soon as you can.
Have fun and good luck.
Coming from a shy guy myself, he'll come around. Try to find out what his hobbies are and study on them. If you can connect on a fun level, he'll open up and be more friendly. Music, art, television, movies, anything like that would do.
Also, don't be afraid to ask him out. And as a guy, he won't say no.I'm a teenage girl having trouble with a shy guy who knows i like him, i dont know what to do. dating advice?
If hes shy, talk to him through either email, text or msn.
This way he can talk to you without even having to open his mouth so you will get a answer for sure.
If you cant get him on any of them, then you will have to find out through either his friends you go up to him again and just ask him out right.
Make sure you get a answer from this kid or you will just spend the rest of your time trying to work out.
Another way is to ask him to go out with him to somewhere like the cinema or just hang out.
So you will get to know him on your own, and he will get to know you too.
It will also help him work out his feelings for you, and give him more confidence around you.
So go ask him as soon as you can.
Have fun and good luck.
Advice to a 13 year old daughter, from a mother? mothers only plz?maybe even fathers with teenage daughters :]?
i want to shave my pubic hair, but my mom disaproaves of it. im embarrased to talk to her about it, and she doesnt always take that stuff seriously. how should i bring it up, and try to get her to allow it? how would u react if ur daughter asked u this?Advice to a 13 year old daughter, from a mother? mothers only plz?maybe even fathers with teenage daughters :]?
Hun, i'm sure your mom doesn't see you naked...so if you want to shave your pubic hair, then do it, it's your choice.Advice to a 13 year old daughter, from a mother? mothers only plz?maybe even fathers with teenage daughters :]?
I agree with answerer number 1 it is pretty itchy. That being said you can always trim. Or if you must shave it, why tell your mom? Would she ever know otherwise?? I know my mom wouldn't have had. At 13 I wouldn't really approve of my daughter doing this because it would concern me as to who she expects to be seeing it where it would matter. However, I think it's perfectly okay to do so if you really think you want to.
I wouldn't worry about too much.If you want to shave down their, it is your opinion, not hers. You can get a razor and shave it, or shave most of it off, then wax the rest off, or use really, really sticky tape. I wouldn't bring it up. If you feel you must, just say my pubic hair is getting too long, and is sticking out of my underwear. Plus it is very itchy. That is all you have to do. My mom didn't care when I asked her, and neither do I. It's their life, not mine...or your life, not your moms
Its your body, if you want you can shave, and your mom won't know since she doesn't see you naked.
As a lot of people have said, it itches when the hair grows back. So if you want to be hairless down there, its better to wax at a salon. A brazilian is only $20 and it lasts a lot longer than shaving, no cuts, etc.
But since you're only 13, waxing is expensive, and pointless. Wait until you're older, then go for it. If you're not doing anything sexually, and no one can see why shave at all?
I have been shaving there since I was 19 years old. I was not living at home, nor would I have ever asked my mom about it. I do it for a few reasons: its far sexier, and my husband prefers it. I feel cleaner and fresher there. And it only gets itchy if you don't keep shaving.
Your 13. I know that I do it mostly for sexual reasons. Are you sexually active? Do you have a boyfriend? At 13, I would be questioning your motives and the reasons why you want to do this. A lot of porn stars shave or get waxed.
If your going to do it, you had better not tell your mom or let her see you naked.
I would hope my daughter when she turns 13 won't ask me about stuff like that, because I would tell her no. At 13, you don't need to be shaving there.
i have a son.. but if i had a daughter and she asked me this..
I would go and buy her the things she needed if she was embarrassed to her self. then not bring it up unless she wanted to ask anything..
i don't see a massive deal in a girl wanting to do this..don't make a big deal about it..threes not a huge amount to disapprove of i feel.
i am sorry, i am a 'daughter'... i dont know why you asked your mom in the first place.. i just did it. if you can shave ur legs you can shave your pubic hair... how is she going to know? i think the first time i did i had to cut a little off with scissors then shave. i was talking about it at like 14 (after doing it for more then a year) and my mom just thought i was joking. i really think that it is more of a personal matter and if u dont want it then get rid of it.
to the person that responded rite before me, it wasn't that any was looking down there when i was 13, it was that it was messy and gross. when u got your period it like clumped up and it actually isn't too itchy, i just shave every time i go in the shower... the pits the legs and the vajayjay
um i never told my mom that i started to shave, so just do it, make sure you clip the hair some before you shave or it will take forever and use a lot of soap, and put lotion on after your done it will help with the itchiness of the hair growing back. just dint tell her, she doesn't see you naked or anything.
dont shave it.put a hair remover on it(like a cream,it melts away the hair)but it really is horribly itchy when it grows back,and i mean really itchy its unpleasant.just dont shave underneath or you could do yourself some injury.
im not sure how often your mom looks at your va jay jay, but couldn't you just do it and not say anything?
why would you need to ask her?
its not like shed find out if you did unless you frequently show her your bits
if my daughter asked me this id be like why are you asking me?
Actually, don't shave it. It is soooo itchy when it grows back.
i never asked my mom if i could shave my pubic hair..i just did...its what im comfortable with....just do it, im sure she is not looking at you naked anyway..
Hun, i'm sure your mom doesn't see you naked...so if you want to shave your pubic hair, then do it, it's your choice.Advice to a 13 year old daughter, from a mother? mothers only plz?maybe even fathers with teenage daughters :]?
I agree with answerer number 1 it is pretty itchy. That being said you can always trim. Or if you must shave it, why tell your mom? Would she ever know otherwise?? I know my mom wouldn't have had. At 13 I wouldn't really approve of my daughter doing this because it would concern me as to who she expects to be seeing it where it would matter. However, I think it's perfectly okay to do so if you really think you want to.
I wouldn't worry about too much.If you want to shave down their, it is your opinion, not hers. You can get a razor and shave it, or shave most of it off, then wax the rest off, or use really, really sticky tape. I wouldn't bring it up. If you feel you must, just say my pubic hair is getting too long, and is sticking out of my underwear. Plus it is very itchy. That is all you have to do. My mom didn't care when I asked her, and neither do I. It's their life, not mine...or your life, not your moms
Its your body, if you want you can shave, and your mom won't know since she doesn't see you naked.
As a lot of people have said, it itches when the hair grows back. So if you want to be hairless down there, its better to wax at a salon. A brazilian is only $20 and it lasts a lot longer than shaving, no cuts, etc.
But since you're only 13, waxing is expensive, and pointless. Wait until you're older, then go for it. If you're not doing anything sexually, and no one can see why shave at all?
I have been shaving there since I was 19 years old. I was not living at home, nor would I have ever asked my mom about it. I do it for a few reasons: its far sexier, and my husband prefers it. I feel cleaner and fresher there. And it only gets itchy if you don't keep shaving.
Your 13. I know that I do it mostly for sexual reasons. Are you sexually active? Do you have a boyfriend? At 13, I would be questioning your motives and the reasons why you want to do this. A lot of porn stars shave or get waxed.
If your going to do it, you had better not tell your mom or let her see you naked.
I would hope my daughter when she turns 13 won't ask me about stuff like that, because I would tell her no. At 13, you don't need to be shaving there.
i have a son.. but if i had a daughter and she asked me this..
I would go and buy her the things she needed if she was embarrassed to her self. then not bring it up unless she wanted to ask anything..
i don't see a massive deal in a girl wanting to do this..don't make a big deal about it..threes not a huge amount to disapprove of i feel.
i am sorry, i am a 'daughter'... i dont know why you asked your mom in the first place.. i just did it. if you can shave ur legs you can shave your pubic hair... how is she going to know? i think the first time i did i had to cut a little off with scissors then shave. i was talking about it at like 14 (after doing it for more then a year) and my mom just thought i was joking. i really think that it is more of a personal matter and if u dont want it then get rid of it.
to the person that responded rite before me, it wasn't that any was looking down there when i was 13, it was that it was messy and gross. when u got your period it like clumped up and it actually isn't too itchy, i just shave every time i go in the shower... the pits the legs and the vajayjay
um i never told my mom that i started to shave, so just do it, make sure you clip the hair some before you shave or it will take forever and use a lot of soap, and put lotion on after your done it will help with the itchiness of the hair growing back. just dint tell her, she doesn't see you naked or anything.
dont shave it.put a hair remover on it(like a cream,it melts away the hair)but it really is horribly itchy when it grows back,and i mean really itchy its unpleasant.just dont shave underneath or you could do yourself some injury.
im not sure how often your mom looks at your va jay jay, but couldn't you just do it and not say anything?
why would you need to ask her?
its not like shed find out if you did unless you frequently show her your bits
if my daughter asked me this id be like why are you asking me?
Actually, don't shave it. It is soooo itchy when it grows back.
i never asked my mom if i could shave my pubic hair..i just did...its what im comfortable with....just do it, im sure she is not looking at you naked anyway..
Any advice?? (Adults, don't open this if you don't want to hear any teenage crap!!!!!!)?
Ok. Another Boy problem.
There's this guy I like. Senior at my school. I see him everyday and he's really good friends with my brother and i really do think he likes me (btw, im a freshman). Now, i asked my friend lauren to talk to him for me.
she said he said he thought i was cute and all, but im too young. I was so heartbroken, but idk if he actuall meant it, or if he just said that not to sound like a perv or anything. What should i do???Any advice?? (Adults, don't open this if you don't want to hear any teenage crap!!!!!!)?
Ok so I think he meant it. Don't be too upset cause I would be a bit worried if he was all for going out with you, strictly because of the grade difference. Senior boys can easily use underclassman girls for sex, trust me on this one I've been though my share off shady seniors last year as a sophomore. Him saying no to dating you shows he's a good guy, so don't worry if it's meant to be he'll see you for you and not your age. Just be careful with the older guys, I'm a junior in high school and my boyfriend is a freshman in collage, he is the sweetest guy but last year I ran into enough creepers his age to made me wary of being with him.Any advice?? (Adults, don't open this if you don't want to hear any teenage crap!!!!!!)?
he probably thinks you're cute but he's not attracted to you because of how young you are. and he might also see you that way because you are his friend's little sister.
if he liked you he would definitely go for it, even if you were a bit young. just continue to grow up and act mature around him, don't keep insisting that you like him. he knows you're interested, so in the future, as you continue to grow, he'll see how pretty and mature you've become and maybe he'll try to go out with you.
as for now, drop it and try to focus your attention on cute boys who like you no matter what. i know it's hard to get over it, but i think it would hurt worse to be known as the pesky little sister with a huge crush.
good luck! i know you like him, but there are also a bunch of other cuties in school!
Okay, I was a freshman last year. And i fell for this boy sean who was a senior he went to a school a town over from where I go and we texted each other non-stop from last november to about July... I was completely in love with him and he knew it i told him all the time, and hes always just brought up ';jail bait'; everytime. I didn't really care at the time and I just loved having him to talk to..having someone older for some reason just feels safer. So anyway then the summer came and we went to go see Year One with my best friend her Bf. The whole time was fine he held my hand for a little while and then when we where walking out he gave me the best hug I've ever gotten and he just looked at me and said ';Bye Hun'; and he his facial expression didn't look right.. then on his way to his car it looked like he stepped in something so i texted him and hes like Yeah I stepped in a puddle and i just wrote back ';oh lol'; and then when he drove by he rolled down his window and yelled ';It's not nice to laugh at people Paige!'; with the cutest look on his face ever. Then about a week or two later he stopped talking to me all together. He won't tell me why, I've tried to ask him so many times but always nothing... It's been almost four months since then I seriosly can't handle it there hasnt been a day that I havent thought about him, people say I should delete everything he's ever sent me and get rid of everything he gave me, but I just can't I think that would make it worse...
Im telling you now, don't get involved with seniors when your only a freshman once he leaves you'll be even more heart broken and he can get in trouble for going out with you. And it can kill so much of your time you could be spending with someone your own age that's going the same pace as you.
sorry that was really long..
Maybe you are too young and you have to accept that.
If not, then just say hi when you see him and just chat with him. Maybe even ask him to hang out doing something silly - (something you wouldn't do on a real date).
If you talk to him and he never asks you out or shows no interest, move on.
Good luck!
There's this guy I like. Senior at my school. I see him everyday and he's really good friends with my brother and i really do think he likes me (btw, im a freshman). Now, i asked my friend lauren to talk to him for me.
she said he said he thought i was cute and all, but im too young. I was so heartbroken, but idk if he actuall meant it, or if he just said that not to sound like a perv or anything. What should i do???Any advice?? (Adults, don't open this if you don't want to hear any teenage crap!!!!!!)?
Ok so I think he meant it. Don't be too upset cause I would be a bit worried if he was all for going out with you, strictly because of the grade difference. Senior boys can easily use underclassman girls for sex, trust me on this one I've been though my share off shady seniors last year as a sophomore. Him saying no to dating you shows he's a good guy, so don't worry if it's meant to be he'll see you for you and not your age. Just be careful with the older guys, I'm a junior in high school and my boyfriend is a freshman in collage, he is the sweetest guy but last year I ran into enough creepers his age to made me wary of being with him.Any advice?? (Adults, don't open this if you don't want to hear any teenage crap!!!!!!)?
he probably thinks you're cute but he's not attracted to you because of how young you are. and he might also see you that way because you are his friend's little sister.
if he liked you he would definitely go for it, even if you were a bit young. just continue to grow up and act mature around him, don't keep insisting that you like him. he knows you're interested, so in the future, as you continue to grow, he'll see how pretty and mature you've become and maybe he'll try to go out with you.
as for now, drop it and try to focus your attention on cute boys who like you no matter what. i know it's hard to get over it, but i think it would hurt worse to be known as the pesky little sister with a huge crush.
good luck! i know you like him, but there are also a bunch of other cuties in school!
Okay, I was a freshman last year. And i fell for this boy sean who was a senior he went to a school a town over from where I go and we texted each other non-stop from last november to about July... I was completely in love with him and he knew it i told him all the time, and hes always just brought up ';jail bait'; everytime. I didn't really care at the time and I just loved having him to talk to..having someone older for some reason just feels safer. So anyway then the summer came and we went to go see Year One with my best friend her Bf. The whole time was fine he held my hand for a little while and then when we where walking out he gave me the best hug I've ever gotten and he just looked at me and said ';Bye Hun'; and he his facial expression didn't look right.. then on his way to his car it looked like he stepped in something so i texted him and hes like Yeah I stepped in a puddle and i just wrote back ';oh lol'; and then when he drove by he rolled down his window and yelled ';It's not nice to laugh at people Paige!'; with the cutest look on his face ever. Then about a week or two later he stopped talking to me all together. He won't tell me why, I've tried to ask him so many times but always nothing... It's been almost four months since then I seriosly can't handle it there hasnt been a day that I havent thought about him, people say I should delete everything he's ever sent me and get rid of everything he gave me, but I just can't I think that would make it worse...
Im telling you now, don't get involved with seniors when your only a freshman once he leaves you'll be even more heart broken and he can get in trouble for going out with you. And it can kill so much of your time you could be spending with someone your own age that's going the same pace as you.
sorry that was really long..
Maybe you are too young and you have to accept that.
If not, then just say hi when you see him and just chat with him. Maybe even ask him to hang out doing something silly - (something you wouldn't do on a real date).
If you talk to him and he never asks you out or shows no interest, move on.
Good luck!
Teenage daughter and troubled home how to handle want to sort things out with the best advice?
Dear all
My daughter is a teenager and gets very angry and shouts all the time. She has become very arrogant and it is increasing day by day. Yes she has lots of studies, and no one to help her on the same. Though not upto my budget i have arranged home tuitions for her.
i work 12 hours a day, my husband has just started working. i dont have good realtionship infact we dont talk to each other. He is a disciplinarian and always fights and shouts if things are not done his way.
every morning my daughter and my husband fight and the whole day is a mess for all. i have another son who is younger but is ok expect for his never ending demand of toys.
i feel there should be some way i can work it out but confused.
i get tired as i have physical and mental tension at office, i am working because of economical situation and not very happy at work but necessity.
when my daughter is calm i have explained but i dont know.
there used to be days she used to be ok but now a days it is everyday she is rude and rough and bangs the door.
pls advice.Teenage daughter and troubled home how to handle want to sort things out with the best advice?
i think it is sensible age for girl. you should communicate with her more ( i know it is difficult, because u r working for 12 hours a day, but one of you have to spend some time with her), knowing how is day in school, and what is her relationship with her classmates. it is very important,as you know nowdays , the kids are very easy to learn something bad than having a good habit.
meanwhile, you can arrange a competition between her and her younger brother. maybe, they can take care of each other.
you'd better enjoy the time at home though you have a lot of pressure from work. as you know, when your emotion does not feel well, then you look at everything negatively.
Be happy!
My daughter is a teenager and gets very angry and shouts all the time. She has become very arrogant and it is increasing day by day. Yes she has lots of studies, and no one to help her on the same. Though not upto my budget i have arranged home tuitions for her.
i work 12 hours a day, my husband has just started working. i dont have good realtionship infact we dont talk to each other. He is a disciplinarian and always fights and shouts if things are not done his way.
every morning my daughter and my husband fight and the whole day is a mess for all. i have another son who is younger but is ok expect for his never ending demand of toys.
i feel there should be some way i can work it out but confused.
i get tired as i have physical and mental tension at office, i am working because of economical situation and not very happy at work but necessity.
when my daughter is calm i have explained but i dont know.
there used to be days she used to be ok but now a days it is everyday she is rude and rough and bangs the door.
pls advice.Teenage daughter and troubled home how to handle want to sort things out with the best advice?
i think it is sensible age for girl. you should communicate with her more ( i know it is difficult, because u r working for 12 hours a day, but one of you have to spend some time with her), knowing how is day in school, and what is her relationship with her classmates. it is very important,as you know nowdays , the kids are very easy to learn something bad than having a good habit.
meanwhile, you can arrange a competition between her and her younger brother. maybe, they can take care of each other.
you'd better enjoy the time at home though you have a lot of pressure from work. as you know, when your emotion does not feel well, then you look at everything negatively.
Be happy!
Teenage love advice?
So I came into work the other day to find a new guy starting on his first day. We introduced each other and went back to our separate work. He is tall, dark, and totally handsome and when I found out we were the same age, I almost died of excitement. My boss soon asked me to show him around and help him with his first day;I had no idea why my luck was good that day but it definitely was.We got to talking and he made me laugh and blush a lot. He always seem to find an excuse to touch me, not in a bad way, but like he grabbed my ponytail and as soon as I turned around he just smiled. I feel like I've known him for so long; its a great feeling. At the end of our shift, he asked me to come outside with him alone. Of course I agreed and then we sat on this cute little bench in the shade. He pulled out his Ipod and gave me an earpiece and started playing a few songs, then he asked me to pick one. Then we just started talking and laughing again. Advice on if he likes me %26amp; if so, what to do??Teenage love advice?
From the sound of it he likes you, so just go for it, ask him out!
Good Luck!Teenage love advice?
He probably likes you but take some time to get to know him more. You'll enjoy spending the time with him and it'll give him the oppurtunity to get to know you and come to like you more...where he could ask you out. But don't rush into asking him out without really getting to know him.
Yep! he seems to like you. You just had alot of luck that day. Ask him is he seeing anyone?
Tell him that you like him--I found out that not telling someone that can just make things go wrong. like you think yall are good and moving somewhere when u didnt even tell him u liked him. then he may show up @ work with someone else because u didnt make a move. but follow your heartpuffy eye cream
From the sound of it he likes you, so just go for it, ask him out!
Good Luck!Teenage love advice?
He probably likes you but take some time to get to know him more. You'll enjoy spending the time with him and it'll give him the oppurtunity to get to know you and come to like you more...where he could ask you out. But don't rush into asking him out without really getting to know him.
Yep! he seems to like you. You just had alot of luck that day. Ask him is he seeing anyone?
Tell him that you like him--I found out that not telling someone that can just make things go wrong. like you think yall are good and moving somewhere when u didnt even tell him u liked him. then he may show up @ work with someone else because u didnt make a move. but follow your heart
Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
I'm moving into the basement for Christmas, and I get to re-decorate it. These are some of the things I was looking for for my new room:
http://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Zeus-C鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Victorian-Accent-T鈥?/a>
http://www.shopwildthings.com/cheblmeglt鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/鈥?/a>
http://classicalguitarworkshop.com/index鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Large-Scroll-Bench鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Satin-Sheet-Set-%E鈥?/a>
Do you kinda see the look I'm going for? Links? Advice? Opinions?
Thank You!Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
well so far i think it's lovely. but taht stuff is pricey. i don't know where to get it chepaer, sorry. but it looks very nice. ^_^
http://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Zeus-C鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Victorian-Accent-T鈥?/a>
http://www.shopwildthings.com/cheblmeglt鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/鈥?/a>
http://classicalguitarworkshop.com/index鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Large-Scroll-Bench鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Satin-Sheet-Set-%E鈥?/a>
Do you kinda see the look I'm going for? Links? Advice? Opinions?
Thank You!Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
well so far i think it's lovely. but taht stuff is pricey. i don't know where to get it chepaer, sorry. but it looks very nice. ^_^
Teenage daughter and troubled home how to handle want to sort things out with the best advice?
Dear all
My daughter is a teenager and gets very angry and shouts all the time. She has become very arrogant and it is increasing day by day. Yes she has lots of studies, and no one to help her on the same. Though not upto my budget i have arranged home tuitions for her.
i work 12 hours a day, my husband has just started working. i dont have good realtionship infact we dont talk to each other. He is a disciplinarian and always fights and shouts if things are not done his way.
every morning my daughter and my husband fight and the whole day is a mess for all. i have another son who is younger but is ok expect for his never ending demand of toys.
i feel there should be some way i can work it out but confused.
i get tired as i have physical and mental tension at office, i am working because of economical situation and not very happy at work but necessity.
when my daughter is calm i have explained but i dont know.
there used to be days she used to be ok but now a days it is everyday she is rude and rough and bangs the door.
pls advice.Teenage daughter and troubled home how to handle want to sort things out with the best advice?
i think it is sensible age for girl. you should communicate with her more ( i know it is difficult, because u r working for 12 hours a day, but one of you have to spend some time with her), knowing how is day in school, and what is her relationship with her classmates. it is very important,as you know nowdays , the kids are very easy to learn something bad than having a good habit.
meanwhile, you can arrange a competition between her and her younger brother. maybe, they can take care of each other.
you'd better enjoy the time at home though you have a lot of pressure from work. as you know, when your emotion does not feel well, then you look at everything negatively.
Be happy!
My daughter is a teenager and gets very angry and shouts all the time. She has become very arrogant and it is increasing day by day. Yes she has lots of studies, and no one to help her on the same. Though not upto my budget i have arranged home tuitions for her.
i work 12 hours a day, my husband has just started working. i dont have good realtionship infact we dont talk to each other. He is a disciplinarian and always fights and shouts if things are not done his way.
every morning my daughter and my husband fight and the whole day is a mess for all. i have another son who is younger but is ok expect for his never ending demand of toys.
i feel there should be some way i can work it out but confused.
i get tired as i have physical and mental tension at office, i am working because of economical situation and not very happy at work but necessity.
when my daughter is calm i have explained but i dont know.
there used to be days she used to be ok but now a days it is everyday she is rude and rough and bangs the door.
pls advice.Teenage daughter and troubled home how to handle want to sort things out with the best advice?
i think it is sensible age for girl. you should communicate with her more ( i know it is difficult, because u r working for 12 hours a day, but one of you have to spend some time with her), knowing how is day in school, and what is her relationship with her classmates. it is very important,as you know nowdays , the kids are very easy to learn something bad than having a good habit.
meanwhile, you can arrange a competition between her and her younger brother. maybe, they can take care of each other.
you'd better enjoy the time at home though you have a lot of pressure from work. as you know, when your emotion does not feel well, then you look at everything negatively.
Be happy!
My family drives me crazy, my teenage sister even more. Can someone help me or give me some advice?
I'm 19 years old and I have a son that is 4 years old. He keeps me really busy all the time and I would like to give him the best. By keeping him in a good environment. But my sister seems to do my life more difficult than what it already is. She is 14 years old. She is cursing back and forth. Every word she speaks seems to start with the ';f';. She does not talk to me at all. But when she needs a favor done, she wants it right away. I tried ignoring her, giving her tips and advice. But she just doesn't care, she yells at my mom. And to make it even worse my dad doesn't say a word about it. At least that is what we see. He thinks by just sending her to her room or telling her to do the dishes she is gonna be good. I just don't know what else to do. can someone please give me a tip on what I should do.My family drives me crazy, my teenage sister even more. Can someone help me or give me some advice?
Wow. A 4-year-old son at 19. I can only imagine the stress! And I can totally understand your frustration with your younger sister.
I'm only 15 myself and I think the biggest thing you can do for your sister is to sit her down. Have a calm, mature talk. Tell her what you just told us. Tell her you have your needs, your son has his needs and that while having another child in the house my be stressful for everyone, she's going to have to step up and be mature about it. Make her feel the pressure.
If she lets you down, say that to her. Say it like you mean it; ';______(sister's name) you really let me down, here.'; and leave it at that. There's nothing worse than feeling immature and feeling the burden of letting someone you care about down. Just be honest with her. Brutally honest, if need be.
While this may not be the response you were looking for, I hope it helps you. And good luck on your sister and her issues.My family drives me crazy, my teenage sister even more. Can someone help me or give me some advice?
Take her out back and give her few slaps tell her how is going be.
Wow. A 4-year-old son at 19. I can only imagine the stress! And I can totally understand your frustration with your younger sister.
I'm only 15 myself and I think the biggest thing you can do for your sister is to sit her down. Have a calm, mature talk. Tell her what you just told us. Tell her you have your needs, your son has his needs and that while having another child in the house my be stressful for everyone, she's going to have to step up and be mature about it. Make her feel the pressure.
If she lets you down, say that to her. Say it like you mean it; ';______(sister's name) you really let me down, here.'; and leave it at that. There's nothing worse than feeling immature and feeling the burden of letting someone you care about down. Just be honest with her. Brutally honest, if need be.
While this may not be the response you were looking for, I hope it helps you. And good luck on your sister and her issues.My family drives me crazy, my teenage sister even more. Can someone help me or give me some advice?
Take her out back and give her few slaps tell her how is going be.
I am a single teenage mother and im having some issues with my parents, need some advice?
a lil back ground info: im 19, i hav a 1 1/2 yr old daughter. ive been married to an abusive husband who was also an alcoholic and drug addict. ive been through hell and back. i accept that everything is my own fault and i take resposibilty for my mistakes and ive learned and changed and grown up alot. i wudnt say that im an adult or hav grown up all the way bc i dont think that anyone ever stops growing up bc there is also somthing more to learn. I jus got divorced, been separated for a yr. im in a relationship with a pretty great guy, not getting tho. i am now living with my parents and am so grateful for all they for me. i rele am. i wudnt be where i am without them. i got my GED and am now in my second semester of college. working rele hard to stay on top of everything and still be a great mother. i know that bc i had a baby things had to change forever and that is the way it should be. i dont expect neone to raise my child bc it is my responsibility. i also know that my teen yrs were cut short and sometimes that is difficult to deal with but to make it clear i have never and will never regret having my daughter, i wudnt ever. but if i should want to go hangout, not party, but jus hangout. after she goes to sleep. i hav a cerfew of like 11:30 or 12 bc i hav to be home be so they can go to sleep. and i completely understand that. but on say a thursday or friday when i dont hav school the next day if i want my bf to come hangout at my house for awhile. he drives so they can go to sleep, they still put a cerfew on on how late he can stay, this doesnt make sense to me, bc they are not bothered by this they can go to sleep and i am still there to listen out for my daughter. and also that they hav no problem with my brother having ppl over at netime during the nite. i know that i hav responsibilities but as long meet them why cant i hav a life. i need some advice, am i wrong for thinking this way? and how should i approach them with this? without gettin my head chewed off or their famous bc i said so. or it's still my house my rules.I am a single teenage mother and im having some issues with my parents, need some advice?
Youre too old to have a curfew, but your mom is probably saying to you.. its your job to be here for your baby.. and she doesnt want to worry about it when she goes to sleep.. SOLUTION: Ask your date, if he would help defray the cost of a baby sitter.. hire one and stay out as late as you like..I am a single teenage mother and im having some issues with my parents, need some advice?
It doesn't have to make sense to you. It's their house, respect them and do as they ask....
you REALLY need to work on your grammar.
and your in COLLEGE????
just talk to them about it.
You already know the answer to this , but i will tell you anyway. They dont want you making the same mistake twice.
That being , getting yourself into another situation u can not handle. By your own admittance you said u have made mistakes of being in a relationship with an absive alchoholic and had a child which u most likely would not have had if u knew he was an abusive alchoholic.
All those mistakes led to the birth of a child in an abusive marriage , that would never have been born had u not made those mistakes in the first place.
Thats why u they are doing what they are doing.
How to fix the problem u have is about your boyfriend earning respect. Understand this, As a father , if i have a daughter living under my roof. No matter how old she is whether she is 19, 25, 36, 40. No boyfriend of hers will ever be sleeping over at home. No matter how much he wanted to prove to me how good he was for my daughter.
I will tell you why. If my daughter who is of age wanted to do that. Then she could move out and be with the guy, if thats what she wanted. If the guy was able to stand on his own two feet and provide for my daughter. I dont have a problem with that.
What i do have a problem with is if a guy thinks he will come over and sleep with my daughter in a bedroom i provided , while i provide for my daughter financially, feed her, clothe her. Provide her utilities water electricity. And he thinks he has the freedom to come over and stick his thing in my daughter! Not under my roof while i am providing for them.
If Mr Boyfriend wants her. He will have to prove himself to her. Treat her with respect. Make a sustainable home where he can provide for her. Then he can have her.
Not have sex with her while i provide for her. Thats what your asking for!
Its unacceptable.
Parents will always be there to pic up the pieces. Thats what your parents have done for you. Despite some of your bad judgments. No matter what u do they will be there for you. In return. You need to respect their wishes. its not much to ask.
If you think this guy is a good guy. You may not be ready to move out yet as it may be too early in the relationship. But while u are under their roof you can not expect your parents to give u the thing u ask, especially if that very thing was the one thing that got u into trouble in the first place.
Move out if u want that extra time with him. Its clear your back on your feet now after what has happened. or At least give it time for the boyfriend to warm up to the parents before u decide to move out.
You should handle this differently this time. Let the BOY earn the respect of your parents before you go that extra mile with him.
youre a 19 year old with a baby- youre lucky you can go out at all. they owe you nothing. remember that. on top of that- the reason they dont want you dating someone else is THEY DONT WANT YOU TO GET KNOCKED UP AGAIN!!!! you dont exactly have a great track record. you really should focus on getting your life in order and raising your daughter.
I commend you on your goals that are met. I know from experience it is hard as heck getting out of an abusive relationship. Many people think you can just leave, but its more to it than that. Your problem is you want to live as you did when you were out on your own. My advice is talk to your parents, tell them your feelings and your desire for a personal life. If this doesn't work, get a small apartment for you and your child and make your life how you want it. Good Luck %26amp; Keep your chin up.
Honey I can't tell you what to do but remember this you are living under their roof therefore you should respect their wish. Also you can sit down with them and talk like adult and make them understand. they are only protecting you from any harm honey. Parents are like that. I am father 4 and I know some time I am like that too with my children and there are all over 25 years age.
the first thing im going to tell you to do is to leave your husband asap. your life and your child's life is in danger. try to understand your parents. they just don't want you to make things harder for your self than they already are. and when you have a child your supposed to put all your attention on them but you are gonna need to relax to try to deal with whats in your hands right now. try to get a babysitter forat leastt one day.don'tt lie to them and say you have a ';doctorsappointmentn'; or something ike that. tell them the truth. tell them you want to have fun and relax for just one day so that you can ty toresolvee your problems. then you can try to talk to your parents. make them feel like they can trust you for one day. all you hae to do is regain the trust they had in you. and again leave your husband if hes abusive.
i think you need to write a little better...but i think you should talk to them about it. At least get a decent reasoning behind it all. you are a mother and you obviously take care of your child
Its the same old story it is their house and their rules and you are not going to change them. I really think they are afraid of you having another one and yes you have learned from your life lessons and when you graduate from college and get your own place then you can do whatever you want. I have to agree with your parents you wont understand until you are older and as far as your brother goes again its their house and their rules
Youre too old to have a curfew, but your mom is probably saying to you.. its your job to be here for your baby.. and she doesnt want to worry about it when she goes to sleep.. SOLUTION: Ask your date, if he would help defray the cost of a baby sitter.. hire one and stay out as late as you like..I am a single teenage mother and im having some issues with my parents, need some advice?
It doesn't have to make sense to you. It's their house, respect them and do as they ask....
you REALLY need to work on your grammar.
and your in COLLEGE????
just talk to them about it.
You already know the answer to this , but i will tell you anyway. They dont want you making the same mistake twice.
That being , getting yourself into another situation u can not handle. By your own admittance you said u have made mistakes of being in a relationship with an absive alchoholic and had a child which u most likely would not have had if u knew he was an abusive alchoholic.
All those mistakes led to the birth of a child in an abusive marriage , that would never have been born had u not made those mistakes in the first place.
Thats why u they are doing what they are doing.
How to fix the problem u have is about your boyfriend earning respect. Understand this, As a father , if i have a daughter living under my roof. No matter how old she is whether she is 19, 25, 36, 40. No boyfriend of hers will ever be sleeping over at home. No matter how much he wanted to prove to me how good he was for my daughter.
I will tell you why. If my daughter who is of age wanted to do that. Then she could move out and be with the guy, if thats what she wanted. If the guy was able to stand on his own two feet and provide for my daughter. I dont have a problem with that.
What i do have a problem with is if a guy thinks he will come over and sleep with my daughter in a bedroom i provided , while i provide for my daughter financially, feed her, clothe her. Provide her utilities water electricity. And he thinks he has the freedom to come over and stick his thing in my daughter! Not under my roof while i am providing for them.
If Mr Boyfriend wants her. He will have to prove himself to her. Treat her with respect. Make a sustainable home where he can provide for her. Then he can have her.
Not have sex with her while i provide for her. Thats what your asking for!
Its unacceptable.
Parents will always be there to pic up the pieces. Thats what your parents have done for you. Despite some of your bad judgments. No matter what u do they will be there for you. In return. You need to respect their wishes. its not much to ask.
If you think this guy is a good guy. You may not be ready to move out yet as it may be too early in the relationship. But while u are under their roof you can not expect your parents to give u the thing u ask, especially if that very thing was the one thing that got u into trouble in the first place.
Move out if u want that extra time with him. Its clear your back on your feet now after what has happened. or At least give it time for the boyfriend to warm up to the parents before u decide to move out.
You should handle this differently this time. Let the BOY earn the respect of your parents before you go that extra mile with him.
youre a 19 year old with a baby- youre lucky you can go out at all. they owe you nothing. remember that. on top of that- the reason they dont want you dating someone else is THEY DONT WANT YOU TO GET KNOCKED UP AGAIN!!!! you dont exactly have a great track record. you really should focus on getting your life in order and raising your daughter.
I commend you on your goals that are met. I know from experience it is hard as heck getting out of an abusive relationship. Many people think you can just leave, but its more to it than that. Your problem is you want to live as you did when you were out on your own. My advice is talk to your parents, tell them your feelings and your desire for a personal life. If this doesn't work, get a small apartment for you and your child and make your life how you want it. Good Luck %26amp; Keep your chin up.
Honey I can't tell you what to do but remember this you are living under their roof therefore you should respect their wish. Also you can sit down with them and talk like adult and make them understand. they are only protecting you from any harm honey. Parents are like that. I am father 4 and I know some time I am like that too with my children and there are all over 25 years age.
the first thing im going to tell you to do is to leave your husband asap. your life and your child's life is in danger. try to understand your parents. they just don't want you to make things harder for your self than they already are. and when you have a child your supposed to put all your attention on them but you are gonna need to relax to try to deal with whats in your hands right now. try to get a babysitter forat leastt one day.don'tt lie to them and say you have a ';doctorsappointmentn'; or something ike that. tell them the truth. tell them you want to have fun and relax for just one day so that you can ty toresolvee your problems. then you can try to talk to your parents. make them feel like they can trust you for one day. all you hae to do is regain the trust they had in you. and again leave your husband if hes abusive.
i think you need to write a little better...but i think you should talk to them about it. At least get a decent reasoning behind it all. you are a mother and you obviously take care of your child
Its the same old story it is their house and their rules and you are not going to change them. I really think they are afraid of you having another one and yes you have learned from your life lessons and when you graduate from college and get your own place then you can do whatever you want. I have to agree with your parents you wont understand until you are older and as far as your brother goes again its their house and their rules
Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
My fiance has a 17 year old daughter who he has had joint custody with since she was 2. Her mom left the marriage when she was a baby and she never knew her parents together. Well, the mom died last year of cancer. Now the teen spends most of the time at the stepdad's house with her 2 younger siblings and sometimes at my fiance's house.
I know she likes me, but is not overly warm. She is a quiet almost shy girl, but is popular. She is a teenager about to be a senior so she does not really want to be around any adults at this point.
We told her we got engaged several months ago and the response was ';that's nice'; and nothing else. We had to ask if she wanted to see the ring. She glanced away from her myspace page long enough to take a peek and that was it.
I so badly want to share with her and be closer and have her take a part in the wedding in a manner she is comfortable. It is hard to know my boundaries with her. Since her mom died it is all a bit weird.
I have not brought it up again because I do not want her to feel uncomfortable. My finace mentioned it and got no reaction.
I am not sure what to do now. I was hoping she would want to be a part and am open to having her be a bridesmaid or for her to stand on her dad's side.
What should I do?
Perhaps she wants to just attend as a guest?
My mom remarried shortly after my dad died, I was 19, and I was furious and refused to attend. I showed up at the end of the wedding, drunk with a few sorority sisters ( immature ,I know,but that was a long time ago) So I feel Ihave to tread lightly.
Any advice?Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
I think that it's lovely that you want a relationship with her. I've been a step-daughter before and I have to say in the beginning you're very hesitant because you're not sure if this person is going to think they're your mother or overstep your boundaries. Perhaps her reaction is due to not being entirely sure where she'll fit into your 'new' life. Both you and your fiance need to make it clear that you want to form a family. It doesn't have to be nuclear, but it should be functional. Including her in the wedding planning and the ceremony itself is a good way to demonstrate this, but I also liked the suggestions that you try and plan outings with her, get to know her not as your fiance's daughter but just as a friend. There's no guarantee that she'll be thrilled about your attempts, but if you can say that you at least made them, I don't think you'll have any trouble sleeping at night.Good luck.Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
You can not force a relationship on his daughter but you can make it clear to her that you will be there if ever she needs you...She will come around All you can do is love her and show her that you care..Are you including her in your wedding?
i think you should tell her that you are not trying to replace her mom. you want to be her friend. and for the ceremony have a candle with her moms name on it. get her a locket with her moms pic in it and reassure her that you understand what she is going through.
all i can say is treat her the way you would want to be treated if your mother just died be compassionate toward her shes probably feeling very alone let her know your there for her if she needs but don't smoother her good luck
You seem to have your head screwed on straight, and understand that she is 17, she lost her mother, shes a teenager probably most interested in her friends, and shes balancing between 2 households. Your approach seems good. I would straight out ask her if she wants to be in the wedding or not. She might appreciate your candor. Give her a few options (bridesmaid, *groomsmaid*, regular guest) and if she doesnt respond right away just say ';Well you can think about it!';
Later on, you can gauge her interest in the event and if she shows any interest at all, get her involved with anything.
I'm guessing her non-interest has more to do with her missing her mom than not liking you. She probably hasn't really mourned properly at that age just because kids really don't know how to handle death. While she probably likes you, she may be trying to save her moms space so no one can take that over. I would be especially kind and listen, listen, listen. I would tell her again how much you would love her to be in the wedding and tell her it is her choice and she can think it over and let you know by the end of the week if she wants to do it. That way she can never say you didn't include her. Teens are hard anyway, I have 3. But this girl is the product of divorce, death of a parent, dealing with a step parent, and now a new step parent. It's a lot forr anyone to deal with.
Take her out to lunch and shopping and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you would like to be closer to her, and you know that it is tough because her mom died. Ask her how she feels about you and her dad getting married. Tell her that you aren't looking to take her mom's place.
Tell her that you are very excited to be marrying her father, and that you would like for her to be involved. Tell her you and her dad would love for her to be a bridesmaid. Offer her a couple of things to do and ask her if she would like to choose something, or if there is anything she would be interested in doing. Tell her she doesn't have to pick right then, but you need to know in a couple of weeks so you can start planning.
If she is quiet anyway, it's going to be tough. My niece is so quiet, I can barely get three words out of her. Just be patient and keep talking to her, but without harassing her about it.
Well, if she won't go out with you, make a girls' day breakfast. Pancakes or something she likes. Then sit down and have a talk with her. Some weekend morning (or afternoon as some teenagers get up) should work.
Hi. You are very observant and knowledgeable (from your own experience), so treading lightly is called for.
Perhaps you can invite her out to lunch. Try to feel her out. Tell her ';Missy, I am sure you really miss your mom. There is NO ONE who can take her place. Please know that I am not trying to take her place. I was wondering how you feel about your dad and I getting married and if you would want to participate in the wedding. I would love to have you as a bridesmaid....or stand next to your dad....whatever you feel comfortable with. So, let me know how you would feel about being a part of our wedding.';
I am sure she is missing her mom. I feel bad for her. She is at a very rough age. I am sure she is happy for you and not resentful...it's more that she misses her mom. Perhaps your fiance can speak with her also. This is a time when she will need both of you (even if she doesn't realize it now.)
You are very kind to seek advice before doing anything. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you and her.
I hope your wedding is a beautiful day!
She lost her mom last year and now she probably feels she's losing her dad................to you. You need to sit down and have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel about everything. Her dad, her mom dying, the wedding, her and life as her new step mom. It is the uncertainty that is probably troubling her most. Be sure she understands that you are not trying to take her moms place
Give her a few years to come around, she's 17 and probably wasn't that into the details about her own mother's life!
Ask her if she would like to be a bridemaid or would she prefer to be a guest at the wedding? Even if she is interested in being a bridesmaid, if she is shy, she would not want to risk rejection %26amp;/or doesn't want you to feel obligated to say yes.
Don't tread softly, just normally. She probably feels your trepidation but doesn't know you well enough yet to understand where you/it is coming from.
You need to keep pushing for a lunch together.
Teenagers are emotional and bitchy, she sounds like the type who is involved in her ';teenage'; life. Which is totally normal. It is hard to lose a parent, I am 21 and my mum died a few months ago suddenly. She is still going through A LOT.
You need to talk to her about how much she wants to be involved. TELL HER that you WANT her involved. Be open and honest.
Well, as you know its a hard road when you lose a parent while you are young..and her circumstances are different in the aspect of her mother and father never being together. My guess is that she is feeling as though she doesnt know if she is here or there with living with the step dad.
My mum died when i was 13, dad remarried about 3 years later and I hated the thought of it. It was dad who talked to me in the end when i was reblling against the step mother. His words to me were '; I loved your mum and will always love your mum, I miss your mum so much even though Ive met colleen and found companionship again...all i ask of you is that you be happy for me and accept *** (stepmum) as part of my life.';
When i realised I was affecting my dads happiness i saw it all in a new light and although i was never ';close'; with her we were still friends which made life a lot easier.
Maybe the issue here is the relationship between father and daughter, and she could see you as another ';interference'; sorry i know that sounds harsh but its a reality...
Maybe you could talk to your fiance about it and see if he can get her to open up ??
Maybe have an all girl day and go shopping with her....while shopping casually bring up the subject and ask her what her thoughts are...let her know that you care about her and would love for her to be a part of all that is going on...then ask her again how she might feel about this...go from there. Even if you just leave things open for her to respond, at least you are trying and still letting her know that she is important (even if she may not want to be). Maybe she would love to help pick out her dress for the occasion...maybe by just 'shopping' together and spending some time together she may warm up to the idea...But I agree that you wouldn't want to come off as overbearing, pushy, or even demanding....I feel that you may just have to go slow and just 'feel' your way through this with her....
I know she likes me, but is not overly warm. She is a quiet almost shy girl, but is popular. She is a teenager about to be a senior so she does not really want to be around any adults at this point.
We told her we got engaged several months ago and the response was ';that's nice'; and nothing else. We had to ask if she wanted to see the ring. She glanced away from her myspace page long enough to take a peek and that was it.
I so badly want to share with her and be closer and have her take a part in the wedding in a manner she is comfortable. It is hard to know my boundaries with her. Since her mom died it is all a bit weird.
I have not brought it up again because I do not want her to feel uncomfortable. My finace mentioned it and got no reaction.
I am not sure what to do now. I was hoping she would want to be a part and am open to having her be a bridesmaid or for her to stand on her dad's side.
What should I do?
Perhaps she wants to just attend as a guest?
My mom remarried shortly after my dad died, I was 19, and I was furious and refused to attend. I showed up at the end of the wedding, drunk with a few sorority sisters ( immature ,I know,but that was a long time ago) So I feel Ihave to tread lightly.
Any advice?Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
I think that it's lovely that you want a relationship with her. I've been a step-daughter before and I have to say in the beginning you're very hesitant because you're not sure if this person is going to think they're your mother or overstep your boundaries. Perhaps her reaction is due to not being entirely sure where she'll fit into your 'new' life. Both you and your fiance need to make it clear that you want to form a family. It doesn't have to be nuclear, but it should be functional. Including her in the wedding planning and the ceremony itself is a good way to demonstrate this, but I also liked the suggestions that you try and plan outings with her, get to know her not as your fiance's daughter but just as a friend. There's no guarantee that she'll be thrilled about your attempts, but if you can say that you at least made them, I don't think you'll have any trouble sleeping at night.Good luck.Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
You can not force a relationship on his daughter but you can make it clear to her that you will be there if ever she needs you...She will come around All you can do is love her and show her that you care..Are you including her in your wedding?
i think you should tell her that you are not trying to replace her mom. you want to be her friend. and for the ceremony have a candle with her moms name on it. get her a locket with her moms pic in it and reassure her that you understand what she is going through.
all i can say is treat her the way you would want to be treated if your mother just died be compassionate toward her shes probably feeling very alone let her know your there for her if she needs but don't smoother her good luck
You seem to have your head screwed on straight, and understand that she is 17, she lost her mother, shes a teenager probably most interested in her friends, and shes balancing between 2 households. Your approach seems good. I would straight out ask her if she wants to be in the wedding or not. She might appreciate your candor. Give her a few options (bridesmaid, *groomsmaid*, regular guest) and if she doesnt respond right away just say ';Well you can think about it!';
Later on, you can gauge her interest in the event and if she shows any interest at all, get her involved with anything.
I'm guessing her non-interest has more to do with her missing her mom than not liking you. She probably hasn't really mourned properly at that age just because kids really don't know how to handle death. While she probably likes you, she may be trying to save her moms space so no one can take that over. I would be especially kind and listen, listen, listen. I would tell her again how much you would love her to be in the wedding and tell her it is her choice and she can think it over and let you know by the end of the week if she wants to do it. That way she can never say you didn't include her. Teens are hard anyway, I have 3. But this girl is the product of divorce, death of a parent, dealing with a step parent, and now a new step parent. It's a lot forr anyone to deal with.
Take her out to lunch and shopping and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you would like to be closer to her, and you know that it is tough because her mom died. Ask her how she feels about you and her dad getting married. Tell her that you aren't looking to take her mom's place.
Tell her that you are very excited to be marrying her father, and that you would like for her to be involved. Tell her you and her dad would love for her to be a bridesmaid. Offer her a couple of things to do and ask her if she would like to choose something, or if there is anything she would be interested in doing. Tell her she doesn't have to pick right then, but you need to know in a couple of weeks so you can start planning.
If she is quiet anyway, it's going to be tough. My niece is so quiet, I can barely get three words out of her. Just be patient and keep talking to her, but without harassing her about it.
Well, if she won't go out with you, make a girls' day breakfast. Pancakes or something she likes. Then sit down and have a talk with her. Some weekend morning (or afternoon as some teenagers get up) should work.
Hi. You are very observant and knowledgeable (from your own experience), so treading lightly is called for.
Perhaps you can invite her out to lunch. Try to feel her out. Tell her ';Missy, I am sure you really miss your mom. There is NO ONE who can take her place. Please know that I am not trying to take her place. I was wondering how you feel about your dad and I getting married and if you would want to participate in the wedding. I would love to have you as a bridesmaid....or stand next to your dad....whatever you feel comfortable with. So, let me know how you would feel about being a part of our wedding.';
I am sure she is missing her mom. I feel bad for her. She is at a very rough age. I am sure she is happy for you and not resentful...it's more that she misses her mom. Perhaps your fiance can speak with her also. This is a time when she will need both of you (even if she doesn't realize it now.)
You are very kind to seek advice before doing anything. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you and her.
I hope your wedding is a beautiful day!
She lost her mom last year and now she probably feels she's losing her dad................to you. You need to sit down and have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel about everything. Her dad, her mom dying, the wedding, her and life as her new step mom. It is the uncertainty that is probably troubling her most. Be sure she understands that you are not trying to take her moms place
Give her a few years to come around, she's 17 and probably wasn't that into the details about her own mother's life!
Ask her if she would like to be a bridemaid or would she prefer to be a guest at the wedding? Even if she is interested in being a bridesmaid, if she is shy, she would not want to risk rejection %26amp;/or doesn't want you to feel obligated to say yes.
Don't tread softly, just normally. She probably feels your trepidation but doesn't know you well enough yet to understand where you/it is coming from.
You need to keep pushing for a lunch together.
Teenagers are emotional and bitchy, she sounds like the type who is involved in her ';teenage'; life. Which is totally normal. It is hard to lose a parent, I am 21 and my mum died a few months ago suddenly. She is still going through A LOT.
You need to talk to her about how much she wants to be involved. TELL HER that you WANT her involved. Be open and honest.
Well, as you know its a hard road when you lose a parent while you are young..and her circumstances are different in the aspect of her mother and father never being together. My guess is that she is feeling as though she doesnt know if she is here or there with living with the step dad.
My mum died when i was 13, dad remarried about 3 years later and I hated the thought of it. It was dad who talked to me in the end when i was reblling against the step mother. His words to me were '; I loved your mum and will always love your mum, I miss your mum so much even though Ive met colleen and found companionship again...all i ask of you is that you be happy for me and accept *** (stepmum) as part of my life.';
When i realised I was affecting my dads happiness i saw it all in a new light and although i was never ';close'; with her we were still friends which made life a lot easier.
Maybe the issue here is the relationship between father and daughter, and she could see you as another ';interference'; sorry i know that sounds harsh but its a reality...
Maybe you could talk to your fiance about it and see if he can get her to open up ??
Maybe have an all girl day and go shopping with her....while shopping casually bring up the subject and ask her what her thoughts are...let her know that you care about her and would love for her to be a part of all that is going on...then ask her again how she might feel about this...go from there. Even if you just leave things open for her to respond, at least you are trying and still letting her know that she is important (even if she may not want to be). Maybe she would love to help pick out her dress for the occasion...maybe by just 'shopping' together and spending some time together she may warm up to the idea...But I agree that you wouldn't want to come off as overbearing, pushy, or even demanding....I feel that you may just have to go slow and just 'feel' your way through this with her....
Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
to participate in a youth boxing league?
I've not asked them yet. If they say no when I do, I will not push the issue. The girl is 15, and she really wants to do this. She's not as much worried about her parents being opposed to the boxing part of it (though that is a concern) as she is about how they will react to her having to wear shorts or sweat pants. She's asked me to speak to them for her. I've agreed, but warned her that I will not argue with her parents' decision. I've got only one shot at this. I'd like to go into the conversation with some idea of what to say to convince them. Any ideas would be appreciated, as I'd love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. Thanks.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
There should be a way to compromise. She is not the only young lady who has experienced this problem, and many others have come up with solutions.
There is an entire fashion industry devoted to supplying modest athletic wear for orthodox women. A pair of loose culottes would be modest but still allow her the range of movement she needs to box. Check out the link below for examples.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
Still it's a butt out matter. A girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Tell the parents that the girl really wants to do boxing. That's it basically, and that as parents, you feel they should support their daughter's commitment to the sport. If they are opposed to the clothes she is going to wear, you really can't do anything against that, since most strict Christian parents are immovable.
I would ask if they have the money for dr. lawyers and ear specialists. plastic surgey and male sex change the last one is a joke...
parents have o look at it all when the girl is 18 and could pay for all the afore mentioned then she could destroy her temple. as long as it is my dime no way... if her concern is shorts I think she is not thinking clearly...
If she's 15, she'd be better served to do it herself. If you can't stand up to your parents at 15, when can you?
If you have to, bring up the self-defense aspect, and camaraderie.
I'm sure that a compromise can be reached and I hope that the parents wouldn't be so narrow minded, they can protect and care about their daughter without hindering her in an unnecessary way.
show them pictures of wrestling singlets. maybe they might think shorts aren't that bad.
here are some good ones
http://www.singlets.com/
Just frame it as an opportunity to box for god.
whats wrong with sports... go up to her parents and ask them if thier daugter can join the Mike Tyson boxing club.
Boxing causes brain damage.
Don't. Getting punched in the nose is a bad idea. Been there, done that, it's overrated.
She needs to be a warrior for Jesus if she wants to fight. There are plenty of devils to fight. Everything that young girls want to do is not necessarily good for them. Who pays the doctor bills if she gets hurt and has to go to the hospital? Who takes care of her if she gets hurt. These are things to consider. You're asking her parents to take on the medical bills, etc. She doesn't need to make a spectacle of herself in a boxing ring. As to approaching her parents, ask them to pray about their daughter participating in a youth boxing league. Be respectful. Approach them and say, ';could you please pray about allowing (girl's name) to participate in a youth boxing league.'; Then tell them details about the league. Where it is, who is participating, what the girls will wear, etc.
I took my sons to a Christian Karate club when they were young. It was mostly Christian. It was a good wittness format also.
Perhaps ask them to pray about it, and not give an answer right away. That would put them on the spot and would likley say no. But with prayer, they will get a chance to hear from the daughter in a private way. I wish you Gods Grace as sports does so much for esteem and health.
Most important thing you can do is support her in what may be her anguish over being compelled to comply with her parent's wishes she not box.
Let's face it, it's not just christian parents, or strict christian parents who might object to their daughter participating in a boxing league.
You sound like you'll be just fine- don't subborn a root of bitterness in this girl please.
I'd stress the positives that this experience would give her. She'd definitely keep fit, which is a huge plus--and it will channel a lot of that negative teen energy.
I don't know much about boxing, but I DO know about martial arts. Martial arts really give kids a discipline that is wonderful, imposed both externally and internally. They learn to accept someone else's authority, to give respect, etc. My son had been in karate for about 2 months when I asked him to take out the trash. He answered, ';Yes, ma'am,'; and then we both stopped, reeled a little, looked at each other and said together, ';WHOA.'; Because he called me Ma'am. THAT was a first, and it came directly from karate.
I ended up taking karate, too, and can't say enough about it. Ironically enough--especially since I'm answering this post!--I no longer take martial arts....for religious reasons. Because of my particular brand of a particular religion, I don't wear pants, and I don't touch men. Both of these are issues in a sport like boxing or martial arts. Still, I'm trying to figure out a way to work around these prohibitions, because I found the whole experience to be so good for both me %26amp; my kids.
So--I think you're right to accept their decision, no matter what. But you should stress the positives--the physical fitness, the channeling of energy in a POSITIVE way, and above all, the incredible discipline.
Well, I have no idea, but My son is into boxing, he has already preached his first sermon in church, and he has taught his 15 year old sister some boxing lessons, I put up a punching bag for them to hit, and taught them some stuff, the best I could tell you is suggest that it's good to know self defense, and make sure that you and your friend mention that they won't use it to bully anybody, and will only use it in emergency self defense.
I can't see what's wrong with wearing shorts or sweat pants. Unless they belong to a weird branch of Christianity where it's skirts only for women and even swimsuits are out of the question (I can't imagine why sweat pants should be objectionable).
I would first find out what particular denomination the parents subscribe too, they don't sound like a mainstream christian ones. That will give you a better idea what arguments they might find acceptable.
PS. OK, if they have no problems with shorts or baggy pants and the daughter thinks they mainly will have problems with clothing not the sport as such, I would not anticipate too much problems. Also the daughter must have been exposed to the sport in order to be enthusiastic about it, so they can't have been too strict about it. Maybe it will have to do more with the time commitment required and her grades in school. With all the childhood/youth obesity press, that may be an angle to pursue, also self defense for girls might be of value.
I would not do this. It is one thing for parents to keep too close a hand on an 19- or 21-year-old, but a girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Some branches of evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity, such as many Independent Baptists, do insist on modest but attractive and feminine dresses for girls. Sweat pants, while not immodest in the same sense, are often viewed as non-feminine. I would think they would view boxing in the same non-feminine light.
A 15-year-old does not always make the best decisions for herself. Wise parents do not expect to place the same restrictions on a 15-year-old as they would on a 12-year-old, but still we have to assume, and encourage the teen to respect, that her parents know better than she does what's best for her.
You say ';you'; would love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. But ';you'; are not her parents. My daughter would enjoy very much to not take piano lessons and spend her afternoons watching TV.
Which is better for her in the long run 鈥?her teenage view or her parents' older and wiser view? We require piano just as much as we require math.
If they are abusing her, you have the duty to call social services. If not, you have the duty to stay out of what is strictly a family matter.
If you truly want her to stand up and ';be her own woman'; then you would encourage her to approach her parents herself. If you are just asserting peer pressure on her, you are her problem, not her solution.puffy eye cream
I've not asked them yet. If they say no when I do, I will not push the issue. The girl is 15, and she really wants to do this. She's not as much worried about her parents being opposed to the boxing part of it (though that is a concern) as she is about how they will react to her having to wear shorts or sweat pants. She's asked me to speak to them for her. I've agreed, but warned her that I will not argue with her parents' decision. I've got only one shot at this. I'd like to go into the conversation with some idea of what to say to convince them. Any ideas would be appreciated, as I'd love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. Thanks.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
There should be a way to compromise. She is not the only young lady who has experienced this problem, and many others have come up with solutions.
There is an entire fashion industry devoted to supplying modest athletic wear for orthodox women. A pair of loose culottes would be modest but still allow her the range of movement she needs to box. Check out the link below for examples.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
Still it's a butt out matter. A girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Report Abuse
Tell the parents that the girl really wants to do boxing. That's it basically, and that as parents, you feel they should support their daughter's commitment to the sport. If they are opposed to the clothes she is going to wear, you really can't do anything against that, since most strict Christian parents are immovable.
I would ask if they have the money for dr. lawyers and ear specialists. plastic surgey and male sex change the last one is a joke...
parents have o look at it all when the girl is 18 and could pay for all the afore mentioned then she could destroy her temple. as long as it is my dime no way... if her concern is shorts I think she is not thinking clearly...
If she's 15, she'd be better served to do it herself. If you can't stand up to your parents at 15, when can you?
If you have to, bring up the self-defense aspect, and camaraderie.
I'm sure that a compromise can be reached and I hope that the parents wouldn't be so narrow minded, they can protect and care about their daughter without hindering her in an unnecessary way.
show them pictures of wrestling singlets. maybe they might think shorts aren't that bad.
here are some good ones
http://www.singlets.com/
Just frame it as an opportunity to box for god.
whats wrong with sports... go up to her parents and ask them if thier daugter can join the Mike Tyson boxing club.
Boxing causes brain damage.
Don't. Getting punched in the nose is a bad idea. Been there, done that, it's overrated.
She needs to be a warrior for Jesus if she wants to fight. There are plenty of devils to fight. Everything that young girls want to do is not necessarily good for them. Who pays the doctor bills if she gets hurt and has to go to the hospital? Who takes care of her if she gets hurt. These are things to consider. You're asking her parents to take on the medical bills, etc. She doesn't need to make a spectacle of herself in a boxing ring. As to approaching her parents, ask them to pray about their daughter participating in a youth boxing league. Be respectful. Approach them and say, ';could you please pray about allowing (girl's name) to participate in a youth boxing league.'; Then tell them details about the league. Where it is, who is participating, what the girls will wear, etc.
I took my sons to a Christian Karate club when they were young. It was mostly Christian. It was a good wittness format also.
Perhaps ask them to pray about it, and not give an answer right away. That would put them on the spot and would likley say no. But with prayer, they will get a chance to hear from the daughter in a private way. I wish you Gods Grace as sports does so much for esteem and health.
Most important thing you can do is support her in what may be her anguish over being compelled to comply with her parent's wishes she not box.
Let's face it, it's not just christian parents, or strict christian parents who might object to their daughter participating in a boxing league.
You sound like you'll be just fine- don't subborn a root of bitterness in this girl please.
I'd stress the positives that this experience would give her. She'd definitely keep fit, which is a huge plus--and it will channel a lot of that negative teen energy.
I don't know much about boxing, but I DO know about martial arts. Martial arts really give kids a discipline that is wonderful, imposed both externally and internally. They learn to accept someone else's authority, to give respect, etc. My son had been in karate for about 2 months when I asked him to take out the trash. He answered, ';Yes, ma'am,'; and then we both stopped, reeled a little, looked at each other and said together, ';WHOA.'; Because he called me Ma'am. THAT was a first, and it came directly from karate.
I ended up taking karate, too, and can't say enough about it. Ironically enough--especially since I'm answering this post!--I no longer take martial arts....for religious reasons. Because of my particular brand of a particular religion, I don't wear pants, and I don't touch men. Both of these are issues in a sport like boxing or martial arts. Still, I'm trying to figure out a way to work around these prohibitions, because I found the whole experience to be so good for both me %26amp; my kids.
So--I think you're right to accept their decision, no matter what. But you should stress the positives--the physical fitness, the channeling of energy in a POSITIVE way, and above all, the incredible discipline.
Well, I have no idea, but My son is into boxing, he has already preached his first sermon in church, and he has taught his 15 year old sister some boxing lessons, I put up a punching bag for them to hit, and taught them some stuff, the best I could tell you is suggest that it's good to know self defense, and make sure that you and your friend mention that they won't use it to bully anybody, and will only use it in emergency self defense.
I can't see what's wrong with wearing shorts or sweat pants. Unless they belong to a weird branch of Christianity where it's skirts only for women and even swimsuits are out of the question (I can't imagine why sweat pants should be objectionable).
I would first find out what particular denomination the parents subscribe too, they don't sound like a mainstream christian ones. That will give you a better idea what arguments they might find acceptable.
PS. OK, if they have no problems with shorts or baggy pants and the daughter thinks they mainly will have problems with clothing not the sport as such, I would not anticipate too much problems. Also the daughter must have been exposed to the sport in order to be enthusiastic about it, so they can't have been too strict about it. Maybe it will have to do more with the time commitment required and her grades in school. With all the childhood/youth obesity press, that may be an angle to pursue, also self defense for girls might be of value.
I would not do this. It is one thing for parents to keep too close a hand on an 19- or 21-year-old, but a girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Some branches of evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity, such as many Independent Baptists, do insist on modest but attractive and feminine dresses for girls. Sweat pants, while not immodest in the same sense, are often viewed as non-feminine. I would think they would view boxing in the same non-feminine light.
A 15-year-old does not always make the best decisions for herself. Wise parents do not expect to place the same restrictions on a 15-year-old as they would on a 12-year-old, but still we have to assume, and encourage the teen to respect, that her parents know better than she does what's best for her.
You say ';you'; would love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. But ';you'; are not her parents. My daughter would enjoy very much to not take piano lessons and spend her afternoons watching TV.
Which is better for her in the long run 鈥?her teenage view or her parents' older and wiser view? We require piano just as much as we require math.
If they are abusing her, you have the duty to call social services. If not, you have the duty to stay out of what is strictly a family matter.
If you truly want her to stand up and ';be her own woman'; then you would encourage her to approach her parents herself. If you are just asserting peer pressure on her, you are her problem, not her solution.
I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
My daughter is 17, and my step-daughter is 16 (my wife and I have full custody of them both, they live with us full time). They are both the wild type and we have been having many problems lately with both of them skipping school, cursing out the teachers, getting detentions/suspended, getting in fights at school (both are in the 11th grade), staying out way past curfew, drinking, smoking, sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing money and our cars, partying, harrasing their younger siblings, constant bad attitudes, and we think the younger is having sex (she won't admit it though). We have tried everything, strong restrictions, grounding, yelling, and nothing has worked. So, when they came home last Friday at 2 in the morning, i told them 1 more thing, whether it be a missed curfew, a detention, or swearing at their sister. 1 more thing, and they were spending their whole entire summer at my older brothers ranch in Oklahoma. i'm having second thoughts now. too harsh? advice?I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
Not too harsh they should learn that they will get consequences for bad behavior I am 18.. and have done nothing at all to upset my mom or dad except once when I went to a friends house without asking you have to be more strict they are doing these things to test you see what you will do.. this means that they think you're weak and your idea of strict is really just like partying with an old grandpa.. come up with unique ways to teach them a lesson and to get them both out of trouble ... the thing I said about the grandpa thing don't take it to offense just think about what I am trying to say..I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
Is your brother likely to be able to reign in their bad behavior? If so, fantastic - because you don't have much time to fix this problem. If not then you are just pushing off your problem onto someone else. The only other problem is that summer is 4 months away. That's alot of time to get into trouble. How about sending them there to work over spring break? Maybe give them a taste of what summer would be like.
Also, would it be better to split them up? maybe they are feeding off of each other?
Another thought is that you need to quit threatening and start doing. If they come home late, then they can't go out. If they sneak out then you sleep infront of their door. If they smoke then they have to run (that will show them how bad their lung capacity is) or work in the hospital with the lung cancer patients. If they are drinking, turn them in to the police. If they are stealing money and cars - let them spend a night in jail. Seriously - this is not petty stuff. This is serious. They need counceling, firm parenting and a LOT of prayer.
You could always do what my uncle did for his stepson (raised him from age 5) - he made him go ';Amish'; : no electricity, no phone, no car, no tv, basically nothing. And then he put him to work - hard work. It worked for him - he went into the military and turned his life around.
Good luck, sounds like you have your hands full.
That sounds like a great idea!
i dont know about it being too harsh but i do know its not your brothers responsibility to deal with your/their problems and you cant just send your daughters off somewhere because you cant get them to listen to you...
I don't think this is too harsh you are doing what you have to do to keep you daughts safe. They may not see it that way now but they will. I grew up giving my parents a hell of a time too and they put me to work at the family buisness. I was so tired sometime that sleeping was all i wanted to do instead of going out. One time I did go out and drank and it was horrible but my parents pulled me out of bed at 7am to go to work they told me the world dont stop for my hangovers and they don't feel sorry for me if i want to drink like an adult they will treat me like one (i was 16). Before they made me start working i had it made i slept in, mom did my laundry, she cooked, cleaned, I never had to do anything, maybe i had to much time on my hands. I thank my parents all the time for teaching me responsibilty,respect and good work ethics. I could see myself in the situations that some of those people i use to hang out.... with no education, dead end jobs or on welfare.if my parents didn't intervine i would possible be in that situation.
so yes give them something to do to fill their time up ,,,yes they still need time for fun but there is a time for that.Teenagers think they know all and can do it all and they think that nothing will happen to them.
Well Dad hand them a little taste of the real world . So NO No don't back down if they break a rule do what u said u would stick to it if you don't they will see that you just try and scare them with empty threats and that you would never really do anything about their behaviour. Good Luck to you%26amp;your wife, u can do it.
They will realize soon that you have their best interest at heart you love them and want to protect them from the harmful and dangerous desions they have been making. Let them know you love them say it and say i love you too them all the time and they need and want hugs %26amp;kiss too. they need to be assured that their family is there for them.Spend more time with them doing family things. Maybe they are screaming for your attention i know i was screaming by acting up all the time. i wanted to be seen and heard even if it was in a negative way. My parents heard me and did something about it.And We have a great realtionship now.
no wasnt to harsh. why u waiting til summer? i have a 17yr old and i thank god daily that shes a good kid. i see her peers and know what kind of crap they get into. u need to set rules and stick by them. curfew here is 11 and my daughter knows she isnt home then and i get no phone call im calling the cops. maybe u need to send urs to visit a jail house or a morgue. sounds tough but its called tough love for a reason. they want to smoke then visit a nursing home let them meet an elder dying from smoking. they having sex take them to the health department and get them on the pill and condoms. theres tons of things u can do to show them this is what will happen if u stay on the road ur on.... its up to the parents to show the children the right way. we have to do everything in our power to teach them so they live out in the world without us when they are adults. its our job to teach and shw examples sounds like urs need some examples thrown at their faces QUICK...good luck
I think this is definitely a Perfect Idea make sure you stick to your guns though if you don't they will know they can get away this stuff all the time and you will do nothing so I say it's a great idea!
that's not harsh at all , but do you really wanna put your brother through all that??? threaten to homeschool them or send them to a border school...all girls, uniforms, and no freedom. worked on my wild and crazy sister!!! lol. good luck
I'm 23 and I say do it they have put you through alot! However it may backfire on you they may find more trouble out their. Being a newly reformed teen w a bad attitude I would put them in therapy bc of the divorce. My sis and I had lots of trouble bc of my rents split she had therapy and has done a 360. I'm pregnat w my first so I neede to change for more obvious reasons. Oh ya and my sis is 17 they're going through alot plus the stuff bc of moving and maybe feeling abandoned? Now you cant force conversation but keep them going and they should break down and talk. Also if they are really bad you can get dys involved and then all will be court mandated. Now this isn't as bad as it sounds. My sis got caught smoking at school and then cops got involved she now doesn't see her social worker she had a choice to stop bc her grades were good and her drug tests were clear. So she became responsible and they allowed her at 17 to stop seeing her worker. She is now involved in youth group and going to help New Orleans to help Habitat for Hummanity! Don't worry how harsh the punishment you need to save these childre who will soon be on their own and then they will get into big trouble in the real world. Also you don't want it rubbing off of your younger kids bc the older ones dont get in trouble! Hope this helps if you want email me!!
it sounds like you are doing all you can to help them. Counseling can only go so far particularly if they are being resistive. You certainly are not being a bad parent by placing restrictions on them and letting them know what their consequences will be if they choose to continue to make bad choices. First and foremost I think you need to follow through no matter what. You can use the time they are away to recharge yourself and they can learn something valuable by working. I would also do what I could now. alarm your doors and windows so you stop the sneaking out. No friends, time away from home, etc until theirs an improvement in behavior and grades. It's sad that it has to come to this but it's their choice to act the way they are doing. You as a parent have a responsibility to them to show them their are consequences for making bad choices. It's a tough road to be on but I think at this point you have no other choice but to show tough love. Keep your chin up, you're doing what is right for them. That makes you a good parent.
Sir you are not being harsh at all. At 16 and 17 they should not be doing haif the stuff they are doing. the only thing is that you have given them to many warnings. you see when you keep warning them and warning them all you are doing to them is like giving them a pat on the hand and saying bad girl thats naughty. you have to show them whoose boss. now you don't have to be harsh with them but you have to give them a firm hand. you need to show your girls what can happen to them if they keep trowing thier life away with this drinking and smoking a crap. Sir you need to take action before it is to late.
Take a pipe to they're heads, beat some sense into them
Hi..I have been working with ';youth at risk'; for about 15 years. Sounds like times are very tough for you and your girls. Have they been to therapy? Perhaps there are other things going on in their lives that they are not sharing. Another one of my ideas is...do you have a juvenile detention center in your area? Let them take a tour..see how their actions could possibly affect their lives. Im a firm believer in natural logical consequences....take away their ';fun stuff'; (iPODS, computers etc..) Give them heavy labor to do.
Or heck...send them to your brother if you think he could help them realize what they are doing. Oklahoma? Thats punishment alone!! (im kidding) Does he farm? They could work on his ranch? Just some suggestions...
Sorry, but not harsh enough. They need a lot more rules...starting with being respectful. Try talking openly with both of them. let them know how much you love them and that you want them to have a happy full life, but that they need to learn how to respect themselves, you %26amp; your wife, and well - everybody!! you can't help them grow into responsible adults the way they are headed. make some boundries - together. then you %26amp; your wife need to stick to it.
Your girls are almost grown, and will be moving on to college soon. they need to learn how to take care of themselves and how to deal with adults, teachers, bosses in a way that will benefit them, not make life harder.
The ranch sounds like a fun trip for al 4 of you to do together. We have a small piece of land we take our kids to for the weekend (every couple of months or so) and it really helps bring us together as a family, and enjoy the time together. I think we all let our gaurd down a little when we are away..and it really helps our relationship when we get back home.
Good luck!!! :)
Not harsh at all, Try looking into a place called the Youth Challenge. Whatever state you are in just type your state and youth challenge. It is a free military type school. Hard core boot camp. I sent two of my daughters there and it worked wonders. Good luck
Edit:
I see where you are coming from and I think you are being 100% fair to them. This is for there own good, and they WILL see this later on. Working on a ranch could bring out the best in them. You are not spending them away because you ';can't handle it'; you are doing so as a sort of self-therapy.
Follow through with your choice!
Original:
I had a ';wild'; side as a teenager and my parents threatened to send me to there friends ranch in the middle of no where, it worked a little, but strong parenting skills, listening to them and realizing this is all a cry for attention is a big key.
My mom screwed my windows shut so I couldn't sneak out, would sleep in front of the doors, home schooled me.
I bless her for all her hard work now. My parents are the reason I just celebrated my 21st birthday. There strict presistant parenting kept me a live.
Also consider family and individual therapy for them. It sounds like ther are deeper issues here.
thats not to harsh i was the same way. i'm 21 now i have change bcause my mom got sick of me and called the cops and let me spend 3 nights in jail! lol it worked
Not too harsh they should learn that they will get consequences for bad behavior I am 18.. and have done nothing at all to upset my mom or dad except once when I went to a friends house without asking you have to be more strict they are doing these things to test you see what you will do.. this means that they think you're weak and your idea of strict is really just like partying with an old grandpa.. come up with unique ways to teach them a lesson and to get them both out of trouble ... the thing I said about the grandpa thing don't take it to offense just think about what I am trying to say..I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
Is your brother likely to be able to reign in their bad behavior? If so, fantastic - because you don't have much time to fix this problem. If not then you are just pushing off your problem onto someone else. The only other problem is that summer is 4 months away. That's alot of time to get into trouble. How about sending them there to work over spring break? Maybe give them a taste of what summer would be like.
Also, would it be better to split them up? maybe they are feeding off of each other?
Another thought is that you need to quit threatening and start doing. If they come home late, then they can't go out. If they sneak out then you sleep infront of their door. If they smoke then they have to run (that will show them how bad their lung capacity is) or work in the hospital with the lung cancer patients. If they are drinking, turn them in to the police. If they are stealing money and cars - let them spend a night in jail. Seriously - this is not petty stuff. This is serious. They need counceling, firm parenting and a LOT of prayer.
You could always do what my uncle did for his stepson (raised him from age 5) - he made him go ';Amish'; : no electricity, no phone, no car, no tv, basically nothing. And then he put him to work - hard work. It worked for him - he went into the military and turned his life around.
Good luck, sounds like you have your hands full.
That sounds like a great idea!
i dont know about it being too harsh but i do know its not your brothers responsibility to deal with your/their problems and you cant just send your daughters off somewhere because you cant get them to listen to you...
I don't think this is too harsh you are doing what you have to do to keep you daughts safe. They may not see it that way now but they will. I grew up giving my parents a hell of a time too and they put me to work at the family buisness. I was so tired sometime that sleeping was all i wanted to do instead of going out. One time I did go out and drank and it was horrible but my parents pulled me out of bed at 7am to go to work they told me the world dont stop for my hangovers and they don't feel sorry for me if i want to drink like an adult they will treat me like one (i was 16). Before they made me start working i had it made i slept in, mom did my laundry, she cooked, cleaned, I never had to do anything, maybe i had to much time on my hands. I thank my parents all the time for teaching me responsibilty,respect and good work ethics. I could see myself in the situations that some of those people i use to hang out.... with no education, dead end jobs or on welfare.if my parents didn't intervine i would possible be in that situation.
so yes give them something to do to fill their time up ,,,yes they still need time for fun but there is a time for that.Teenagers think they know all and can do it all and they think that nothing will happen to them.
Well Dad hand them a little taste of the real world . So NO No don't back down if they break a rule do what u said u would stick to it if you don't they will see that you just try and scare them with empty threats and that you would never really do anything about their behaviour. Good Luck to you%26amp;your wife, u can do it.
They will realize soon that you have their best interest at heart you love them and want to protect them from the harmful and dangerous desions they have been making. Let them know you love them say it and say i love you too them all the time and they need and want hugs %26amp;kiss too. they need to be assured that their family is there for them.Spend more time with them doing family things. Maybe they are screaming for your attention i know i was screaming by acting up all the time. i wanted to be seen and heard even if it was in a negative way. My parents heard me and did something about it.And We have a great realtionship now.
no wasnt to harsh. why u waiting til summer? i have a 17yr old and i thank god daily that shes a good kid. i see her peers and know what kind of crap they get into. u need to set rules and stick by them. curfew here is 11 and my daughter knows she isnt home then and i get no phone call im calling the cops. maybe u need to send urs to visit a jail house or a morgue. sounds tough but its called tough love for a reason. they want to smoke then visit a nursing home let them meet an elder dying from smoking. they having sex take them to the health department and get them on the pill and condoms. theres tons of things u can do to show them this is what will happen if u stay on the road ur on.... its up to the parents to show the children the right way. we have to do everything in our power to teach them so they live out in the world without us when they are adults. its our job to teach and shw examples sounds like urs need some examples thrown at their faces QUICK...good luck
I think this is definitely a Perfect Idea make sure you stick to your guns though if you don't they will know they can get away this stuff all the time and you will do nothing so I say it's a great idea!
that's not harsh at all , but do you really wanna put your brother through all that??? threaten to homeschool them or send them to a border school...all girls, uniforms, and no freedom. worked on my wild and crazy sister!!! lol. good luck
I'm 23 and I say do it they have put you through alot! However it may backfire on you they may find more trouble out their. Being a newly reformed teen w a bad attitude I would put them in therapy bc of the divorce. My sis and I had lots of trouble bc of my rents split she had therapy and has done a 360. I'm pregnat w my first so I neede to change for more obvious reasons. Oh ya and my sis is 17 they're going through alot plus the stuff bc of moving and maybe feeling abandoned? Now you cant force conversation but keep them going and they should break down and talk. Also if they are really bad you can get dys involved and then all will be court mandated. Now this isn't as bad as it sounds. My sis got caught smoking at school and then cops got involved she now doesn't see her social worker she had a choice to stop bc her grades were good and her drug tests were clear. So she became responsible and they allowed her at 17 to stop seeing her worker. She is now involved in youth group and going to help New Orleans to help Habitat for Hummanity! Don't worry how harsh the punishment you need to save these childre who will soon be on their own and then they will get into big trouble in the real world. Also you don't want it rubbing off of your younger kids bc the older ones dont get in trouble! Hope this helps if you want email me!!
it sounds like you are doing all you can to help them. Counseling can only go so far particularly if they are being resistive. You certainly are not being a bad parent by placing restrictions on them and letting them know what their consequences will be if they choose to continue to make bad choices. First and foremost I think you need to follow through no matter what. You can use the time they are away to recharge yourself and they can learn something valuable by working. I would also do what I could now. alarm your doors and windows so you stop the sneaking out. No friends, time away from home, etc until theirs an improvement in behavior and grades. It's sad that it has to come to this but it's their choice to act the way they are doing. You as a parent have a responsibility to them to show them their are consequences for making bad choices. It's a tough road to be on but I think at this point you have no other choice but to show tough love. Keep your chin up, you're doing what is right for them. That makes you a good parent.
Sir you are not being harsh at all. At 16 and 17 they should not be doing haif the stuff they are doing. the only thing is that you have given them to many warnings. you see when you keep warning them and warning them all you are doing to them is like giving them a pat on the hand and saying bad girl thats naughty. you have to show them whoose boss. now you don't have to be harsh with them but you have to give them a firm hand. you need to show your girls what can happen to them if they keep trowing thier life away with this drinking and smoking a crap. Sir you need to take action before it is to late.
Take a pipe to they're heads, beat some sense into them
Hi..I have been working with ';youth at risk'; for about 15 years. Sounds like times are very tough for you and your girls. Have they been to therapy? Perhaps there are other things going on in their lives that they are not sharing. Another one of my ideas is...do you have a juvenile detention center in your area? Let them take a tour..see how their actions could possibly affect their lives. Im a firm believer in natural logical consequences....take away their ';fun stuff'; (iPODS, computers etc..) Give them heavy labor to do.
Or heck...send them to your brother if you think he could help them realize what they are doing. Oklahoma? Thats punishment alone!! (im kidding) Does he farm? They could work on his ranch? Just some suggestions...
Sorry, but not harsh enough. They need a lot more rules...starting with being respectful. Try talking openly with both of them. let them know how much you love them and that you want them to have a happy full life, but that they need to learn how to respect themselves, you %26amp; your wife, and well - everybody!! you can't help them grow into responsible adults the way they are headed. make some boundries - together. then you %26amp; your wife need to stick to it.
Your girls are almost grown, and will be moving on to college soon. they need to learn how to take care of themselves and how to deal with adults, teachers, bosses in a way that will benefit them, not make life harder.
The ranch sounds like a fun trip for al 4 of you to do together. We have a small piece of land we take our kids to for the weekend (every couple of months or so) and it really helps bring us together as a family, and enjoy the time together. I think we all let our gaurd down a little when we are away..and it really helps our relationship when we get back home.
Good luck!!! :)
Not harsh at all, Try looking into a place called the Youth Challenge. Whatever state you are in just type your state and youth challenge. It is a free military type school. Hard core boot camp. I sent two of my daughters there and it worked wonders. Good luck
Edit:
I see where you are coming from and I think you are being 100% fair to them. This is for there own good, and they WILL see this later on. Working on a ranch could bring out the best in them. You are not spending them away because you ';can't handle it'; you are doing so as a sort of self-therapy.
Follow through with your choice!
Original:
I had a ';wild'; side as a teenager and my parents threatened to send me to there friends ranch in the middle of no where, it worked a little, but strong parenting skills, listening to them and realizing this is all a cry for attention is a big key.
My mom screwed my windows shut so I couldn't sneak out, would sleep in front of the doors, home schooled me.
I bless her for all her hard work now. My parents are the reason I just celebrated my 21st birthday. There strict presistant parenting kept me a live.
Also consider family and individual therapy for them. It sounds like ther are deeper issues here.
thats not to harsh i was the same way. i'm 21 now i have change bcause my mom got sick of me and called the cops and let me spend 3 nights in jail! lol it worked
I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
Female 16 year old has lived with mother and step father entire 16 years. Actual Fathers family has reported that now 16 years later that this F child is abused. This 16 year old is a woman of full grown stature and is trained in martial arts that mother and step father, brother,sister all are Black belt level as well as the combative 16 year old that was without medication for 48 hours and was in a full blown ';Blackout'; She does not remember but ';bits and pieces of the actual events'; that transpired. Both parents were assaulted physically, mother was spit on (in the face) and step father was knocked to knees and cuts were a result. She was wrapped in mothers arms and sat down with to restrain from further harm inflicted to anyone. The 16 yr old tried to spit another time into mothers face and mom placed hand over mouth to stop the spit from hitting her again,and the mother was said to have used unapproved or done the wrong thing. Did she?I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
Check Labour Laws on the definition of ';reasonable force';. If 16 year old child is clinically combative, Restraining a child with known issues can be redefined because of these issues see the doctor. Or check with Mental Health.I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
she may need an exorcism. call your local priest.
Check Labour Laws on the definition of ';reasonable force';. If 16 year old child is clinically combative, Restraining a child with known issues can be redefined because of these issues see the doctor. Or check with Mental Health.I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
she may need an exorcism. call your local priest.
Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
I'm moving into the basement for Christmas, and I get to re-decorate it. These are some of the things I was looking for for my new room:
http://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Zeus-C鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Victorian-Accent-T鈥?/a>
http://www.shopwildthings.com/cheblmeglt鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/鈥?/a>
http://classicalguitarworkshop.com/index鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Large-Scroll-Bench鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Satin-Sheet-Set-%E鈥?/a>
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/bedandba鈥?/a>
Do you kinda see the look I'm going for? Links? Advice? Opinions?
Thank You!
And it has to be CHEAP!!!!!
(And i'm looking for any kind of furniture or accents or accessories or tables or desks or lamps or just ANYTHING!!)
(And also, can you possibly find an iPod radio or speakers that would follow this theme?)Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
sorry none of you links are working but i think you would love how my friends room is. ill try to find pics of what her room looks like, its black and red by the way, ill try to find similar pics. She has a huge wooden bed though with a white comforter and its looks really nice in there.
haha sorry i cant find anything thats in her room but its really nice. I can try to explain it though. She has a black shelf on the wall but it has like diferent squares in it (like maybe six there fairly big) and an antique bed (that i already mentioned) and an antique dest and nightstand. i dont know how big your new room will be but hers is actually like two rooms. theres like an empty door way into the next one where her closet is and one whole wall is a mirror (she was going to put in a ballet bar but just left it out so now its a mirror wall. so as i said the rest of the walls are either black or red and there is a hardwood floor. she has a few lamps in there and a stereo (black) and ipod speakers. she has this candle holder on the wall (with no candles on it) above her desk and its like probably a couple feet long and tall or whatever but its black (on a red wall) and has the little cup type things sticking out but it looks really cool and she has a light dimmer and lots of candles randomly around and what adds to it, making it really look like her room is an easle with a canvas or one of her paintings on it. so pretty much just put in things that reflect what you like. she also has a black pitcure frame with like three picture spaces up and down that have pictures of ballerinas in it(shes like a super good dancer, all diferent kinds of dance but ballet is her main one). so just put in what you like and you can find things that look erally nice but are cheep. ill try to look for more pics but i cant find any like my friends room which probably looks way better then your picturing it becuase i suck at explaining things.
One other store to try: Ikea. i love it and it has great stuff.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/catego鈥?/a>
heres a link to the bedrooms. search around im sure youll find somthing. if you ahve an ikea near you go there! it is a great store and fun to look around. they have so many bed dressings and mirrors adn picutre frames and just everything.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/produc鈥?/a>
i have this in my room but in black. think about getting picture frames and mirrors in thereAdvice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
links are not working for me
http://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Zeus-C鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Victorian-Accent-T鈥?/a>
http://www.shopwildthings.com/cheblmeglt鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/鈥?/a>
http://classicalguitarworkshop.com/index鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Large-Scroll-Bench鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Satin-Sheet-Set-%E鈥?/a>
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/bedandba鈥?/a>
Do you kinda see the look I'm going for? Links? Advice? Opinions?
Thank You!
And it has to be CHEAP!!!!!
(And i'm looking for any kind of furniture or accents or accessories or tables or desks or lamps or just ANYTHING!!)
(And also, can you possibly find an iPod radio or speakers that would follow this theme?)Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
sorry none of you links are working but i think you would love how my friends room is. ill try to find pics of what her room looks like, its black and red by the way, ill try to find similar pics. She has a huge wooden bed though with a white comforter and its looks really nice in there.
haha sorry i cant find anything thats in her room but its really nice. I can try to explain it though. She has a black shelf on the wall but it has like diferent squares in it (like maybe six there fairly big) and an antique bed (that i already mentioned) and an antique dest and nightstand. i dont know how big your new room will be but hers is actually like two rooms. theres like an empty door way into the next one where her closet is and one whole wall is a mirror (she was going to put in a ballet bar but just left it out so now its a mirror wall. so as i said the rest of the walls are either black or red and there is a hardwood floor. she has a few lamps in there and a stereo (black) and ipod speakers. she has this candle holder on the wall (with no candles on it) above her desk and its like probably a couple feet long and tall or whatever but its black (on a red wall) and has the little cup type things sticking out but it looks really cool and she has a light dimmer and lots of candles randomly around and what adds to it, making it really look like her room is an easle with a canvas or one of her paintings on it. so pretty much just put in things that reflect what you like. she also has a black pitcure frame with like three picture spaces up and down that have pictures of ballerinas in it(shes like a super good dancer, all diferent kinds of dance but ballet is her main one). so just put in what you like and you can find things that look erally nice but are cheep. ill try to look for more pics but i cant find any like my friends room which probably looks way better then your picturing it becuase i suck at explaining things.
One other store to try: Ikea. i love it and it has great stuff.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/catego鈥?/a>
heres a link to the bedrooms. search around im sure youll find somthing. if you ahve an ikea near you go there! it is a great store and fun to look around. they have so many bed dressings and mirrors adn picutre frames and just everything.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/produc鈥?/a>
i have this in my room but in black. think about getting picture frames and mirrors in thereAdvice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
links are not working for me
Teenage ';Love'; Advice?
What do you do when the person you truly like and want to be with is with someone else, yet again they say they miss and love you?
Hi, Im A Teenager,
Who likes this boy alot. since may. i left on a trip for summer, he would always make sure how i was, says he misses me. then when she comes back in august everything is well. they hit it off great again and start ';talking';. After a while they once decided to hang at the mall. Little Did i know he wasnt talking just to me, but to another girl . his current girlfriend. He played me yeah. But i havent liked someone this much since 2 years ago, He came over saturday, we did nothing, Talk. We Went outside, it was cold, we went for a walk. he said if i didnt have a gf this would be so romantic. He told me how much he missed me, and if we went out if i would be there for him no matter what , i said yeah. He just kept on saying awe your so cute i miss you.
im so confused, i dont even know.
Oh , Any Quotes for this kind of feeling? Thanks
Feeling Gloomy. Down . Just Need Advice Please
Teenage ';Love'; Advice?
dont ever get with a boy who has a gf because believe me no matter what he tells you, you are not special to him because he is still with her.
take a good look at that girl because if he would do that to her what makes you think he would not do that to you.
i dont have a quote but a song look up meiko, boys with girlfriends
goodluckTeenage ';Love'; Advice?
Player!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think of it this way he's cheating on his gf with you.....what makes you think he won't do the same to you later on???
get rid of the piece of S*****
Its never too early for anal sex.
No quotes but that is soooo cute. But UR BFF is playing his GF. Be careful! Did U tell him U like him 2?
a salute goes out for any meaning left in the word love that just died....
real_love_advice@yahoo.com email me and ill help...IM me if u can..Thanx hope i can help
ugh. i feel so bad for you. i know how that is. you never know if they are just saying that or if they are being truly sincere. this guy is an *** and if he doesnt see what is right in front of him then he is a retard. and he is playing the both of you girls. does his gf even know what he is doing. he is wrong and leading two girls on and making them like him. this is a definition of a guy being an ***. i know that this is hard to do but you need to forget about him. he is gonna end up hurting you and confusing you and that doesnt leave you in the best condition. you need to not talk to him for a little while and show him that you will not tolerate this and that he needs to chose who he wants. he cant keep confusing you like this and you need to take a stand and show him your not letting him do this anymore.
Hi, Im A Teenager,
Who likes this boy alot. since may. i left on a trip for summer, he would always make sure how i was, says he misses me. then when she comes back in august everything is well. they hit it off great again and start ';talking';. After a while they once decided to hang at the mall. Little Did i know he wasnt talking just to me, but to another girl . his current girlfriend. He played me yeah. But i havent liked someone this much since 2 years ago, He came over saturday, we did nothing, Talk. We Went outside, it was cold, we went for a walk. he said if i didnt have a gf this would be so romantic. He told me how much he missed me, and if we went out if i would be there for him no matter what , i said yeah. He just kept on saying awe your so cute i miss you.
im so confused, i dont even know.
Oh , Any Quotes for this kind of feeling? Thanks
Feeling Gloomy. Down . Just Need Advice Please
Teenage ';Love'; Advice?
dont ever get with a boy who has a gf because believe me no matter what he tells you, you are not special to him because he is still with her.
take a good look at that girl because if he would do that to her what makes you think he would not do that to you.
i dont have a quote but a song look up meiko, boys with girlfriends
goodluckTeenage ';Love'; Advice?
Player!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think of it this way he's cheating on his gf with you.....what makes you think he won't do the same to you later on???
get rid of the piece of S*****
Its never too early for anal sex.
No quotes but that is soooo cute. But UR BFF is playing his GF. Be careful! Did U tell him U like him 2?
a salute goes out for any meaning left in the word love that just died....
real_love_advice@yahoo.com email me and ill help...IM me if u can..Thanx hope i can help
ugh. i feel so bad for you. i know how that is. you never know if they are just saying that or if they are being truly sincere. this guy is an *** and if he doesnt see what is right in front of him then he is a retard. and he is playing the both of you girls. does his gf even know what he is doing. he is wrong and leading two girls on and making them like him. this is a definition of a guy being an ***. i know that this is hard to do but you need to forget about him. he is gonna end up hurting you and confusing you and that doesnt leave you in the best condition. you need to not talk to him for a little while and show him that you will not tolerate this and that he needs to chose who he wants. he cant keep confusing you like this and you need to take a stand and show him your not letting him do this anymore.
Need advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
This is a very, very rough copy. I hate the beginning so please any suggestions! Also, how do you like the story line, style of writing, etc.
Turn off alarm clock. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Brush my teeth. Put clothes on. Fix up hair. Put on makeup. Eat breakfast. Grab my bag. Drive to school. Let the day begin. This was my usual start of day, but not today. Not Friday, November 14.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
I slam my hand on my alarm clock.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
Once again, I hit the off button on my alarm clock, but the sound continues.
“Hello?”
Ah, yes, the telephone. I slowly ease my head onto my pillow, only to jerk my head back up. Thoughts flooded through my head. Why is it dark outside? Why is my alarm clock shining on my face, reading 4:17a.m? And why do I hear a loud clash, slam of a door, and rapid footsteps coming down my hallway? I quickly realize something is not right. In fact, something is very, very wrong. I jump out of bed and hear my mother coming into my room.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Sit down, sweetie,” she told me.
I obeyed and slumped onto my bed, remembering how tired I was.
“Amy, Hailey’s mother, just called,” she said in a quite tone. “Hailey was driving to the grocery store to pick up some Aspirin when…” my mother paused.
Oh God, no, please no, I thought to myself. I knew what was coming.
“A drunk driver slammed into her car, and killed her,” she said softly.
My mind was spinning, my stomach twisting. I wasn’t like normal girls, who would burst out crying in their mother’s arms. I just sat there with shock, staring at the chocolate stain on my carpet. By now, my mother knew to just leave me, and let everything soak in. She quietly left the room. So there I was, 4:20 in the morning, darkness all around, a chocolate stain on my floor, sitting on my bed, and silently crying into my pillow.
My friendship with Hailey wasn’t the typical ‘friends since birth’ kind of thing. She had moved into a house at the end of my street in the 7th grade. We didn’t actually exchange words, until we had a leadership class together our freshman year. But, I always remember seeing her playing outside almost every night. She would play with anyone, her dad, mom, brother, sister, friends, neighbors-anyone. I used to think how amazing life must be when you were pretty, outgoing, and athletic.
She had honey-blonde hair, that would shine perfectly in the sunlight. Her wavy hair, looked as if she went to the beach every night and woke up with the perfect beachy waves. She had hazel eyes, with faded freckles on her nose and cheeks.
I am different from Hailey, much different. I have brown curly hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. Hailey was always friendly and nice. I’m always sarcastic and not really shy, but not really outgoing. I’ve always had my weird quirks about me, and I’ve always been opinionated. But as different as Hailey and I were, we just clicked.
Hailey was my best friend, even though I only knew her for 3 years. We would spend the whole summer with each other, doing anything. We would play volleyball in her lawn, eat popsicles on my porch, drive around town, and talk about boys while painting each others nails on her bed. When we were together, nothing could bring us down.
When I walked in, I instantly felt the awkwardness. People shuffled from place to place in conservative black dresses. I saw pictures of Hailey everywhere, surrounded by cards and flowers. Some of Hailey’s friends from volleyball were in a corner talking in hushed tones. I took a seat in a pew with an elderly couple at the end. Hailey would have hated being there as much as I was.
In the middle of the sermon, I heard a loud crack of thunder, followed by a rushing down pour. I glanced down in my purse, realizing I had no umbrella. This should be great, I thought. The sermon ended, but the rain continued. I waited until everyone left, to get my last glimpse of Hailey. I walked to the open door, taking in the sweet smell of rain. As I started out the door, I felt a warm pull on my wrist. I whipped my head around to see a guy with dirty blonde hair staring back at me.
“Excuse me,” I said in an irritated tone.
“Sorry, I just thought you might want to use this,” he said as he offered his umbrella.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I will do just fine,” I said.
“Well, I don’t think so. You know, I heard that if a pretty girl steps out in the rain, there is a possibility that she might start melting. So, in that case, I will escort you to your car,” He said in a playful tone.
How cute, I thought, sarcastically. He popped his umbrella open, held me by the waist, and asked me where my car was. I pointed to a red slug bug, and we walked on towards it.
“Thanks,” I said in a tight voice. I wasn’t in the mood.
“You are most certainly welcome,” He said, as he started off to his own car.
I got into my car. “Verrrrrrrrr,” my car had trouble starting lately. I tried againNeed advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
i think its pretty good the way it is, but more i would like to see a little bit more of a hook. and the death thing isnt normally a good intro for a 'romance' novel, so id rethink that. but i really like your imagery and last section.Need advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
Might want to study up on a few books and touch up on your use of words and adjectives....
Turn off alarm clock. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Brush my teeth. Put clothes on. Fix up hair. Put on makeup. Eat breakfast. Grab my bag. Drive to school. Let the day begin. This was my usual start of day, but not today. Not Friday, November 14.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
I slam my hand on my alarm clock.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
Once again, I hit the off button on my alarm clock, but the sound continues.
“Hello?”
Ah, yes, the telephone. I slowly ease my head onto my pillow, only to jerk my head back up. Thoughts flooded through my head. Why is it dark outside? Why is my alarm clock shining on my face, reading 4:17a.m? And why do I hear a loud clash, slam of a door, and rapid footsteps coming down my hallway? I quickly realize something is not right. In fact, something is very, very wrong. I jump out of bed and hear my mother coming into my room.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Sit down, sweetie,” she told me.
I obeyed and slumped onto my bed, remembering how tired I was.
“Amy, Hailey’s mother, just called,” she said in a quite tone. “Hailey was driving to the grocery store to pick up some Aspirin when…” my mother paused.
Oh God, no, please no, I thought to myself. I knew what was coming.
“A drunk driver slammed into her car, and killed her,” she said softly.
My mind was spinning, my stomach twisting. I wasn’t like normal girls, who would burst out crying in their mother’s arms. I just sat there with shock, staring at the chocolate stain on my carpet. By now, my mother knew to just leave me, and let everything soak in. She quietly left the room. So there I was, 4:20 in the morning, darkness all around, a chocolate stain on my floor, sitting on my bed, and silently crying into my pillow.
My friendship with Hailey wasn’t the typical ‘friends since birth’ kind of thing. She had moved into a house at the end of my street in the 7th grade. We didn’t actually exchange words, until we had a leadership class together our freshman year. But, I always remember seeing her playing outside almost every night. She would play with anyone, her dad, mom, brother, sister, friends, neighbors-anyone. I used to think how amazing life must be when you were pretty, outgoing, and athletic.
She had honey-blonde hair, that would shine perfectly in the sunlight. Her wavy hair, looked as if she went to the beach every night and woke up with the perfect beachy waves. She had hazel eyes, with faded freckles on her nose and cheeks.
I am different from Hailey, much different. I have brown curly hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. Hailey was always friendly and nice. I’m always sarcastic and not really shy, but not really outgoing. I’ve always had my weird quirks about me, and I’ve always been opinionated. But as different as Hailey and I were, we just clicked.
Hailey was my best friend, even though I only knew her for 3 years. We would spend the whole summer with each other, doing anything. We would play volleyball in her lawn, eat popsicles on my porch, drive around town, and talk about boys while painting each others nails on her bed. When we were together, nothing could bring us down.
When I walked in, I instantly felt the awkwardness. People shuffled from place to place in conservative black dresses. I saw pictures of Hailey everywhere, surrounded by cards and flowers. Some of Hailey’s friends from volleyball were in a corner talking in hushed tones. I took a seat in a pew with an elderly couple at the end. Hailey would have hated being there as much as I was.
In the middle of the sermon, I heard a loud crack of thunder, followed by a rushing down pour. I glanced down in my purse, realizing I had no umbrella. This should be great, I thought. The sermon ended, but the rain continued. I waited until everyone left, to get my last glimpse of Hailey. I walked to the open door, taking in the sweet smell of rain. As I started out the door, I felt a warm pull on my wrist. I whipped my head around to see a guy with dirty blonde hair staring back at me.
“Excuse me,” I said in an irritated tone.
“Sorry, I just thought you might want to use this,” he said as he offered his umbrella.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I will do just fine,” I said.
“Well, I don’t think so. You know, I heard that if a pretty girl steps out in the rain, there is a possibility that she might start melting. So, in that case, I will escort you to your car,” He said in a playful tone.
How cute, I thought, sarcastically. He popped his umbrella open, held me by the waist, and asked me where my car was. I pointed to a red slug bug, and we walked on towards it.
“Thanks,” I said in a tight voice. I wasn’t in the mood.
“You are most certainly welcome,” He said, as he started off to his own car.
I got into my car. “Verrrrrrrrr,” my car had trouble starting lately. I tried againNeed advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
i think its pretty good the way it is, but more i would like to see a little bit more of a hook. and the death thing isnt normally a good intro for a 'romance' novel, so id rethink that. but i really like your imagery and last section.Need advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
Might want to study up on a few books and touch up on your use of words and adjectives....
Report Abuse
Help on teenage relationship,this is a long q bt if u r gd at advice please help!?
i'm 17 yrs old (girl) , havent had amazing relationships or very long ones, iv had my trust broken alot by friends in the past so i dnt trust easily
just recently my male friend introduced me to his friend and they both go to the same college, we swapd numbers + email addys etc, so we txted for a while, met up a few times, we get on reli well+ share similar views + feelings about stuf. It happened quite quickly, from meeting up+ txtin for 2 weeks, then 'saw' each other for 2 weeks + he asked me out on thurs, i accepted..he wants2 progress the relationship, iv only kissed ppl (so im a virgin!) and dnt wan2 do anything until i feel redi and tht im not gna regret it cus I see sex and all the other stuff as special, he understands bt im not sure, hes experienced stuf trough being drunk at parties a few times, nd regrets it im jst worried, i dnt wan2 end up pregnant or with loads of regrets, we get on so well tho, and he doesn鈥檛 wan2 pressure me and is as equally nervous, i jst need adviceHelp on teenage relationship,this is a long q bt if u r gd at advice please help!?
Don't compromise yourself for anyone. You can have a deep, meaningful relationship without having sex, and if he doesn't understand that then you aren't in the right relationship. There are loads of boys out there who don't think of sex as the most important thing, believe it or not.
And, if you decide later that you want to become intimate, make sure you use lots of contraception! It's always good to be careful!
Good luck!Help on teenage relationship,this is a long q bt if u r gd at advice please help!?
The great way to see if a guy respects you is to see if he can wait. If the guy starts to pressure you then get rid. Never give in to pressure remember it's your body and it should be respected.
Good girl. Stick to your guns and wait until you're ready. He sounds a nice guy and will respect you all the more for knowing your own mind. Good luck.
just take things slow and go at your own pace, this guy seems like a nice guy and he respects you so you don't have to rush anything, just get to know him and wait until you are comfortable and sure within yourself before you take the next step with anybody, it is your body and you don't want to have any regrets about who you decide to share yourself with...
first drop the text message lingo your on a PC...write it out
if he understand that you want to wait before having sex then there is no issue really. test him to see how fast he wants this to develop and if he really want sex or he really respect your decision...now don't be fooled and fall for the line ' oh I'll wait until your ready' while getting you heated so you can loose control and give in.
good on you, your body is important to you. and im glad to hear he understands, If he is the one he will wait as long as it takes too you are ready. Dont let anyone change your mind either. You really have answered your own question as long you keep it all in mind.
Ok, your 17 so I think it's safe to say that this might not be your last relationship and you may be in for some more heart ache and break, but your're also in line for some AMAZING times, some of the best years of your life! They're call your 20's! If this guy respects you then he won't pile on the pressure and try to get you in bed! BE STRONG and strict to yourself when it comes to giving your virginity away! I would have to say that at 17 and with regards to relationships... put yourself 1st... I don't want to patronise you by any means but you do have years ahead to look forward to - Don't get serious now... If your out and about on Friday eve let me know and I'll buy you a drink ;-) Good luck x
I think im right in saying that you have really only met this person and you have only been texting him for a month or so. Its too early. You have a rare and sensible attitude to sexuality for these times and you should rely on your gut reaction that you may regret it. This lad may be genuine but some boys are clever and manipulative enough to lul you in. Give it time to really get to know him. His patience and fidelity over a year or more will prove his intentions and make the experience so much better. Be proud of yourself and dont be afraid to say no because anyone worth being with will understand and respect you.
If he says he doesn't want to pressure you but then asks, that IS pressuring you.
Don't let him do anything until you're ready, at the end of the day it's you left with the feelings of regret and possibly a baby.
It might however be worth going to the doctors in advance to discuss contraception because you might feel differently in the near future.
At the end of the day if he really respects you and likes you he'll wait... dating for a few weeks is not very long at all and you still really don't know each other well enough. If he keeps on about it then he doesn't really ';care';, he just wants another notch on his headboard.
Just stand firm for your beliefs and don't do anything till you're ready!
Good luck
youre still young and youll have a good future when you continue resisting to temptations, actually youll know if the person really loves you when theyd respect you, the more time youd spend together the more youll get to know him his motives, personality etc..for me virginity is very important, as long as both of you feel like your responsible enough to face all the cercumstances that would happen as an effect of your actions then go do whatever you wanna do just be careful.. Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.
Just take it slowly. If he understands how you feel then don't worry about it. Just go out on dates and enjoy each other's company without feeling like you have to do something you don't want to do.
So what do you need advice about ? He likes you, he's aware that you're a virgin and says he doesn't want to pressure you. There's no harm in dating him, it doesn't mean you have to jump into bed with him or have his child. Just get to know each other and have fun. No need to complicate things! You seem confident and intelligent enough to be able to say no if a situation that makes you uncomfortable arises.
Wait until you think your ready I met a bloke when i was 16 %26amp; we both waited until I was ready about 5months into it!
I am now married to him %26amp; have four children we hav been married nearly 12yrs %26amp; i met him 4yrs before that!
So i hav only EVER slept with one man who was the right one for me!
Good luck if he's right for you he will wait for you!!!
please do not type in text messaging format. i hate deciphering. i would recommend waiting to make sure this man is the right man. you only lose your virginity once and you'll remember the person you lost your virginity to forever. make sure it is someone worth remembering. use protection if you do not want to get pregnant.puffy eye cream
just recently my male friend introduced me to his friend and they both go to the same college, we swapd numbers + email addys etc, so we txted for a while, met up a few times, we get on reli well+ share similar views + feelings about stuf. It happened quite quickly, from meeting up+ txtin for 2 weeks, then 'saw' each other for 2 weeks + he asked me out on thurs, i accepted..he wants2 progress the relationship, iv only kissed ppl (so im a virgin!) and dnt wan2 do anything until i feel redi and tht im not gna regret it cus I see sex and all the other stuff as special, he understands bt im not sure, hes experienced stuf trough being drunk at parties a few times, nd regrets it im jst worried, i dnt wan2 end up pregnant or with loads of regrets, we get on so well tho, and he doesn鈥檛 wan2 pressure me and is as equally nervous, i jst need adviceHelp on teenage relationship,this is a long q bt if u r gd at advice please help!?
Don't compromise yourself for anyone. You can have a deep, meaningful relationship without having sex, and if he doesn't understand that then you aren't in the right relationship. There are loads of boys out there who don't think of sex as the most important thing, believe it or not.
And, if you decide later that you want to become intimate, make sure you use lots of contraception! It's always good to be careful!
Good luck!Help on teenage relationship,this is a long q bt if u r gd at advice please help!?
The great way to see if a guy respects you is to see if he can wait. If the guy starts to pressure you then get rid. Never give in to pressure remember it's your body and it should be respected.
Good girl. Stick to your guns and wait until you're ready. He sounds a nice guy and will respect you all the more for knowing your own mind. Good luck.
just take things slow and go at your own pace, this guy seems like a nice guy and he respects you so you don't have to rush anything, just get to know him and wait until you are comfortable and sure within yourself before you take the next step with anybody, it is your body and you don't want to have any regrets about who you decide to share yourself with...
first drop the text message lingo your on a PC...write it out
if he understand that you want to wait before having sex then there is no issue really. test him to see how fast he wants this to develop and if he really want sex or he really respect your decision...now don't be fooled and fall for the line ' oh I'll wait until your ready' while getting you heated so you can loose control and give in.
good on you, your body is important to you. and im glad to hear he understands, If he is the one he will wait as long as it takes too you are ready. Dont let anyone change your mind either. You really have answered your own question as long you keep it all in mind.
Ok, your 17 so I think it's safe to say that this might not be your last relationship and you may be in for some more heart ache and break, but your're also in line for some AMAZING times, some of the best years of your life! They're call your 20's! If this guy respects you then he won't pile on the pressure and try to get you in bed! BE STRONG and strict to yourself when it comes to giving your virginity away! I would have to say that at 17 and with regards to relationships... put yourself 1st... I don't want to patronise you by any means but you do have years ahead to look forward to - Don't get serious now... If your out and about on Friday eve let me know and I'll buy you a drink ;-) Good luck x
I think im right in saying that you have really only met this person and you have only been texting him for a month or so. Its too early. You have a rare and sensible attitude to sexuality for these times and you should rely on your gut reaction that you may regret it. This lad may be genuine but some boys are clever and manipulative enough to lul you in. Give it time to really get to know him. His patience and fidelity over a year or more will prove his intentions and make the experience so much better. Be proud of yourself and dont be afraid to say no because anyone worth being with will understand and respect you.
If he says he doesn't want to pressure you but then asks, that IS pressuring you.
Don't let him do anything until you're ready, at the end of the day it's you left with the feelings of regret and possibly a baby.
It might however be worth going to the doctors in advance to discuss contraception because you might feel differently in the near future.
At the end of the day if he really respects you and likes you he'll wait... dating for a few weeks is not very long at all and you still really don't know each other well enough. If he keeps on about it then he doesn't really ';care';, he just wants another notch on his headboard.
Just stand firm for your beliefs and don't do anything till you're ready!
Good luck
youre still young and youll have a good future when you continue resisting to temptations, actually youll know if the person really loves you when theyd respect you, the more time youd spend together the more youll get to know him his motives, personality etc..for me virginity is very important, as long as both of you feel like your responsible enough to face all the cercumstances that would happen as an effect of your actions then go do whatever you wanna do just be careful.. Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.
Just take it slowly. If he understands how you feel then don't worry about it. Just go out on dates and enjoy each other's company without feeling like you have to do something you don't want to do.
So what do you need advice about ? He likes you, he's aware that you're a virgin and says he doesn't want to pressure you. There's no harm in dating him, it doesn't mean you have to jump into bed with him or have his child. Just get to know each other and have fun. No need to complicate things! You seem confident and intelligent enough to be able to say no if a situation that makes you uncomfortable arises.
Wait until you think your ready I met a bloke when i was 16 %26amp; we both waited until I was ready about 5months into it!
I am now married to him %26amp; have four children we hav been married nearly 12yrs %26amp; i met him 4yrs before that!
So i hav only EVER slept with one man who was the right one for me!
Good luck if he's right for you he will wait for you!!!
please do not type in text messaging format. i hate deciphering. i would recommend waiting to make sure this man is the right man. you only lose your virginity once and you'll remember the person you lost your virginity to forever. make sure it is someone worth remembering. use protection if you do not want to get pregnant.
A typical teenage love situation . . . I really need some wise peoples advice! 10 points! Please?
Ive liked my guyfriend since the begining of the year when we first met and we always have been friends and talking to each other since. Weve been very close. And Ive never felt this way about a guy ever! like hes so different from other guys. And hes the first guy Ive ever felt this way about. Its just that he doesnt know I like him. And sometimes I feel like he likes me back. Just the difference between how he looks at me and other girls. And last night he hooked up with a girl and now they are going out. And he told me that he didnt like this girl and he doesnt wanna be with her. they were making out and dancing yesterday night at the dance. And I was so like devistated. I didnt cry at all . . but inside i was ripping apart. Also . . not only is he going out with a girl . . but hes going out with agirl I dislike. I feel like this girl gets whatever i want. Im so sad and every time i think about last night i wanna just scream because im so bothered!
I dont know if hes doing this to make me jelous, or because he lkes her. I am so confused and hurt. I hate myself for feeling hurt, because I dont deserve this. This guy is like not even bothered and he had a great night. And im sitting here like an idiot feeling bad. I hate myself for that because hes not worth it.
Do u have nay advice! please i need like words to comfort me. Im so hurt and bothered. My friends going through the exact thing.A typical teenage love situation . . . I really need some wise peoples advice! 10 points! Please?
don't worry of course he's going to go out with another girl because he doesn't know what you think about him. Also sometimes guys are more shy than girls even if they don't like to admitt it..if your not too worried that this could ruin your friendship go for it!! But don't expect him to drop everything for someone who he doesn't know even likes him.
Good luck Hun
Just give it a try don't wait
: DDA typical teenage love situation . . . I really need some wise peoples advice! 10 points! Please?
He's likely a guy just being a guy and doesn't have any idea how much he's hurting you. That girl on the other hand might. I hope she really is not out to get your man. But truthfully it sounds like you still have a shot, get out there and take what's yours! How do I do that you say??? Well you know this guy right?? Seduce him. Seduction is God's gift to women to get what they want from us men. And seduction is so NOT just looks. Sometimes it's an emotional understanding, or intelligence. I don't think you've lost him for good. But you should definitely communicate to him the way you feel. (at least to some extent) so that you give him the chance to act on it. Sometimes guys are clueless. And even though we're not all shy, we all feel insecure sometimes and he could be too insecure to reach out to you and getcha.
if you feel so strongly about him you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel about him. if he likes you, he'll stop seeing that other girl and hang with you. if he doesnt then its not the end of the world. it may feel that way in the beginning but he's not the only nice guy that would find u appealing. u seem young, so just remember to keep ur options open. you have plenty of time.
I dont know if hes doing this to make me jelous, or because he lkes her. I am so confused and hurt. I hate myself for feeling hurt, because I dont deserve this. This guy is like not even bothered and he had a great night. And im sitting here like an idiot feeling bad. I hate myself for that because hes not worth it.
Do u have nay advice! please i need like words to comfort me. Im so hurt and bothered. My friends going through the exact thing.A typical teenage love situation . . . I really need some wise peoples advice! 10 points! Please?
don't worry of course he's going to go out with another girl because he doesn't know what you think about him. Also sometimes guys are more shy than girls even if they don't like to admitt it..if your not too worried that this could ruin your friendship go for it!! But don't expect him to drop everything for someone who he doesn't know even likes him.
Good luck Hun
Just give it a try don't wait
: DDA typical teenage love situation . . . I really need some wise peoples advice! 10 points! Please?
He's likely a guy just being a guy and doesn't have any idea how much he's hurting you. That girl on the other hand might. I hope she really is not out to get your man. But truthfully it sounds like you still have a shot, get out there and take what's yours! How do I do that you say??? Well you know this guy right?? Seduce him. Seduction is God's gift to women to get what they want from us men. And seduction is so NOT just looks. Sometimes it's an emotional understanding, or intelligence. I don't think you've lost him for good. But you should definitely communicate to him the way you feel. (at least to some extent) so that you give him the chance to act on it. Sometimes guys are clueless. And even though we're not all shy, we all feel insecure sometimes and he could be too insecure to reach out to you and getcha.
if you feel so strongly about him you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel about him. if he likes you, he'll stop seeing that other girl and hang with you. if he doesnt then its not the end of the world. it may feel that way in the beginning but he's not the only nice guy that would find u appealing. u seem young, so just remember to keep ur options open. you have plenty of time.
Does anyone have any advice on getting that guy for me, a teenage girl?
Hey there =)
My name's Kate and I'm fifteen years old.
Okay, I really like this guy who I shall call Sparko. He's just...amazing. Really smart and funny and talented and nice and lovely and AGH! I like him so much.
I have met him before and we got on well. But I'd love to get to know him better and hopefully proceed to go out with him.
I'm going to this gig on Friday night, he'll probably be there.
Does anyone have any advice for me on what to do? I want to definately remain myself, it'd suck to be acting really fake.
But any like, tips just. Even on like, what to wear (mind, I'll be jumping and leaping around!) or what not to do... I'd appreiciate immensly.
Thanks so much!
Kate.
xDoes anyone have any advice on getting that guy for me, a teenage girl?
OK, you already know the very basic of it... be yourself. The next thing you have to do/not to do are:
1. Dress properly for the occasion. Do not overdress. Do not dress like a s-l-u-t. Do not dress so you will stick out like a sore thumb.
2. Talk to him like your normally do. It'll be helpful if you know what he likes or dislikes. That way you will not bore him with talking about a subject he's not interested in.
3. Ask him to dance if he doesn't ask you already.
4. Do not be over aggressive. You will scare him out.
5. Do not be possessive. He's not your boyfriend yet, so he has the right to dance and talk with anyone else. Don't follow him around all the time. Give him some space, but don't lose sight of him. You want to be close enough with him, but not so much that you're stalking him.
6. Be nice to everyone, including his friends and other people in the party.
7. Respect yourself by not being too easy. If he likes you too, he may try to kiss/hug you. That's normal. If you're ready for those, go ahead and kiss/hug him back. But decline if he asks you to go beyond the first base with him. Leave him some ';mysteries'; about yourself until the two of you become an official couple.
My name's Kate and I'm fifteen years old.
Okay, I really like this guy who I shall call Sparko. He's just...amazing. Really smart and funny and talented and nice and lovely and AGH! I like him so much.
I have met him before and we got on well. But I'd love to get to know him better and hopefully proceed to go out with him.
I'm going to this gig on Friday night, he'll probably be there.
Does anyone have any advice for me on what to do? I want to definately remain myself, it'd suck to be acting really fake.
But any like, tips just. Even on like, what to wear (mind, I'll be jumping and leaping around!) or what not to do... I'd appreiciate immensly.
Thanks so much!
Kate.
xDoes anyone have any advice on getting that guy for me, a teenage girl?
OK, you already know the very basic of it... be yourself. The next thing you have to do/not to do are:
1. Dress properly for the occasion. Do not overdress. Do not dress like a s-l-u-t. Do not dress so you will stick out like a sore thumb.
2. Talk to him like your normally do. It'll be helpful if you know what he likes or dislikes. That way you will not bore him with talking about a subject he's not interested in.
3. Ask him to dance if he doesn't ask you already.
4. Do not be over aggressive. You will scare him out.
5. Do not be possessive. He's not your boyfriend yet, so he has the right to dance and talk with anyone else. Don't follow him around all the time. Give him some space, but don't lose sight of him. You want to be close enough with him, but not so much that you're stalking him.
6. Be nice to everyone, including his friends and other people in the party.
7. Respect yourself by not being too easy. If he likes you too, he may try to kiss/hug you. That's normal. If you're ready for those, go ahead and kiss/hug him back. But decline if he asks you to go beyond the first base with him. Leave him some ';mysteries'; about yourself until the two of you become an official couple.
Stupid dumb teenage boys and their confusing ways. I need help/advice.?
Ok so I'm a sophomore and I was at a football game (play-offs) with the band (yes I'm a band geek, deal) and I was hanging out with a couple of my guy friends. I'm confused about these 2 guys, who I'll refer to as J and D, though because they both were flirting with me.
J is a junior and my friends have thought of us as a couple since March. He acts like he likes me (hugging, tickling, texting, etc.) but it bugs me because all of his friends are mainly senior girls and he'll ignore me sometimes to hang around them. They've reassured me that they only think of him as a little brother and his guy friends will talk to him about he should go hang out with me (they talk REALLY loud in the halls).
D is a freshman and I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me. He learned that I'm really ticklish, so that's his new favorite thing. Oh and now he keeps texting me at midnight asking me what's up. I don't really like him that much but he's sort of fun to be around.
Any idea on what's going on in their minds? I'm confused...Stupid dumb teenage boys and their confusing ways. I need help/advice.?
dont date the freshman. like cmon, sophomore girl with a freshman guy? junior guy seems cool, and maybe his senior girl friends can be really fun to be around
J is a junior and my friends have thought of us as a couple since March. He acts like he likes me (hugging, tickling, texting, etc.) but it bugs me because all of his friends are mainly senior girls and he'll ignore me sometimes to hang around them. They've reassured me that they only think of him as a little brother and his guy friends will talk to him about he should go hang out with me (they talk REALLY loud in the halls).
D is a freshman and I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me. He learned that I'm really ticklish, so that's his new favorite thing. Oh and now he keeps texting me at midnight asking me what's up. I don't really like him that much but he's sort of fun to be around.
Any idea on what's going on in their minds? I'm confused...Stupid dumb teenage boys and their confusing ways. I need help/advice.?
dont date the freshman. like cmon, sophomore girl with a freshman guy? junior guy seems cool, and maybe his senior girl friends can be really fun to be around
Teenage guys please help me :( and girls with any advice. SHOULD I FEEL GUIILTY!? AHH?
Okay so theres this guy i dont know very well and he told some ppl that he liked me. I dont like him like that and some of my friends asked me are u going to say yes if he askes you out and i said no i dont like him like that. So some of my friends are very loud and they were kinda making fun of me for it and saying he was weird and stuff. So he ussually talks to me in class and today he didnt at all. Then later i came and sat kinda near him with my other friend and he just looked down the whole time. I asked him hey did we have a test tomorrow in some subject (along those lines) and he just shook his head and looked down again. I dont even know him that well but I feel horrible because what if someone told him that i didnt like him or something UGHHH I feel horribllleeeeeee!!!!!! Do you think hes just playing hard to get or something? Or do you think hes mad at me?! HELPPPP!Teenage guys please help me :( and girls with any advice. SHOULD I FEEL GUIILTY!? AHH?
u crushed him
dana%26lt;33Teenage guys please help me :( and girls with any advice. SHOULD I FEEL GUIILTY!? AHH?
I don't think hes mad at you I think that he is attention seeking. You should not feel bad about this, if he wants to act like a 5 year old then leave him to it :)
dont feel bad ;]
hey...im a girl, not a guy, but i thought id help you out XD
He's probably heard stuff and feeling a little sad about it...think how you'd feel if your crush didnt like you
Its not that he doesnt like you, he just feels a bit sad and doesnt want to talk about it atm.
Maybe you could talk to him on your own away from your friends and his friends a lil later?
Also, he might notve heard the truth
Rumours get dpread, and they can change from ';sorry but i dont LIKE like him'; to ';EW I think he's horrible, omg what a freak'; very easily, expecially at school
So maybe talking to him would be best
Good luck hun (:
x
u crushed him
dana%26lt;33Teenage guys please help me :( and girls with any advice. SHOULD I FEEL GUIILTY!? AHH?
I don't think hes mad at you I think that he is attention seeking. You should not feel bad about this, if he wants to act like a 5 year old then leave him to it :)
dont feel bad ;]
hey...im a girl, not a guy, but i thought id help you out XD
He's probably heard stuff and feeling a little sad about it...think how you'd feel if your crush didnt like you
Its not that he doesnt like you, he just feels a bit sad and doesnt want to talk about it atm.
Maybe you could talk to him on your own away from your friends and his friends a lil later?
Also, he might notve heard the truth
Rumours get dpread, and they can change from ';sorry but i dont LIKE like him'; to ';EW I think he's horrible, omg what a freak'; very easily, expecially at school
So maybe talking to him would be best
Good luck hun (:
x
I'm a BiSexual Teenage Girl. Can anyone give me some good advice.?
Okay before I say anything i have to get this out in the open.
I am 15 years old. I KNOW that I am a Bisexual, I have been for two years now.
My girl friend and I have been dating for a long time now. And word has been getting around at school that we are dating, which doesnt bother me I couldnt care less. But now the school's guidance counselors won't leave me alone, they keeps trying to tell me im gender confused etc*(WHICH I KNOW I'M NOT) And on top of all that my girl friend's father now hates my guts, her mother is ok with it though. But now when i call her house if her dad awnsers he always speaks to me in a hatefull tone. PLUS one of my close friend,who is a girl, isnt aloud to talk to me over the phone, ride the bus with me(her dad is now drving her to school), or come to my house anymore because her homophobic ';Christan'; dad turely believes we going to do 'something'. And he is giving her HELL because of me. Theres NO reasoning with her dad. I dont want to lose my friend.I'm a BiSexual Teenage Girl. Can anyone give me some good advice.?
You can still see them in school so at least thats still there. I know it looks bad, but unfortunately, if you havent reached 18, and still living with your parents, almost all of your decisions in life will be in some way meddled or interfered by your parents.
Its a sad reality but oh so true. (same with my parents)
Believe me, 3 years isnt that long.
As for those counselors, tell them to mind their own business because you arent asking for their help. Counselors are there to help when ASKED FOR and not to go out making judgements about kids.I'm a BiSexual Teenage Girl. Can anyone give me some good advice.?
you will encounter people who doesn't think it's right at least not for people they want to be close to them or their kids. it's okay for others but not for their own people. either you keep it private only to yourself or you have to expect unliberal people to go against you. now you've got to stand up for your rights and show them you are a decent human being who don't deserved to be treated badly. you only have a different sexual preference. as for the father who drives daughter to school she can go out with men and not have sex with them, why so concerned about you and her.
That just sucks. Her dad is so homophobic. And that is wrong!
I know its hard and dont wanna loose your friend(s).
I think you should explain everything,why do you love her(ur gf) to her parents and the counselors.Do your parents knows that you're bisexual?
Good luck mate.Wish you luck.
Your going to have to decide weather it is more important to come out or keep your friend!
Its probably to late, to decide on the merits, of weather you should hide and keep your friend and your girlfriend, or coming out completely and getting new friends!
Since everyone knows or suspects, just get new friends!
Your counselor is just doing his/her job and Dad is just being Dad!
Find people who are as confident about who they are, as you!
Go Figure!
If school counsellors give you a hard time walk out of school to the nearest police station and report the abuse. It's criminal.
Can't do much about bigoted Dads though. Be brave. Be Out %26amp; Proud.
well, that is sad. I guess the best advice would be to wait untill you get older and more mature and then decide about these sorts of things. no matter what kind of preference you have just make sure you spend plenty of time on other things in your life as well and just do not concentrate on one thing. you can have love towards sport, art, education, trade, music, etc......these things will help you a lot in life. think you need to be a strong person first to be able to offer love. a weak person without skills will not succed in love with anybody.
I am 15 years old. I KNOW that I am a Bisexual, I have been for two years now.
My girl friend and I have been dating for a long time now. And word has been getting around at school that we are dating, which doesnt bother me I couldnt care less. But now the school's guidance counselors won't leave me alone, they keeps trying to tell me im gender confused etc*(WHICH I KNOW I'M NOT) And on top of all that my girl friend's father now hates my guts, her mother is ok with it though. But now when i call her house if her dad awnsers he always speaks to me in a hatefull tone. PLUS one of my close friend,who is a girl, isnt aloud to talk to me over the phone, ride the bus with me(her dad is now drving her to school), or come to my house anymore because her homophobic ';Christan'; dad turely believes we going to do 'something'. And he is giving her HELL because of me. Theres NO reasoning with her dad. I dont want to lose my friend.I'm a BiSexual Teenage Girl. Can anyone give me some good advice.?
You can still see them in school so at least thats still there. I know it looks bad, but unfortunately, if you havent reached 18, and still living with your parents, almost all of your decisions in life will be in some way meddled or interfered by your parents.
Its a sad reality but oh so true. (same with my parents)
Believe me, 3 years isnt that long.
As for those counselors, tell them to mind their own business because you arent asking for their help. Counselors are there to help when ASKED FOR and not to go out making judgements about kids.I'm a BiSexual Teenage Girl. Can anyone give me some good advice.?
you will encounter people who doesn't think it's right at least not for people they want to be close to them or their kids. it's okay for others but not for their own people. either you keep it private only to yourself or you have to expect unliberal people to go against you. now you've got to stand up for your rights and show them you are a decent human being who don't deserved to be treated badly. you only have a different sexual preference. as for the father who drives daughter to school she can go out with men and not have sex with them, why so concerned about you and her.
That just sucks. Her dad is so homophobic. And that is wrong!
I know its hard and dont wanna loose your friend(s).
I think you should explain everything,why do you love her(ur gf) to her parents and the counselors.Do your parents knows that you're bisexual?
Good luck mate.Wish you luck.
Your going to have to decide weather it is more important to come out or keep your friend!
Its probably to late, to decide on the merits, of weather you should hide and keep your friend and your girlfriend, or coming out completely and getting new friends!
Since everyone knows or suspects, just get new friends!
Your counselor is just doing his/her job and Dad is just being Dad!
Find people who are as confident about who they are, as you!
Go Figure!
If school counsellors give you a hard time walk out of school to the nearest police station and report the abuse. It's criminal.
Can't do much about bigoted Dads though. Be brave. Be Out %26amp; Proud.
well, that is sad. I guess the best advice would be to wait untill you get older and more mature and then decide about these sorts of things. no matter what kind of preference you have just make sure you spend plenty of time on other things in your life as well and just do not concentrate on one thing. you can have love towards sport, art, education, trade, music, etc......these things will help you a lot in life. think you need to be a strong person first to be able to offer love. a weak person without skills will not succed in love with anybody.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)