a lil back ground info: im 19, i hav a 1 1/2 yr old daughter. ive been married to an abusive husband who was also an alcoholic and drug addict. ive been through hell and back. i accept that everything is my own fault and i take resposibilty for my mistakes and ive learned and changed and grown up alot. i wudnt say that im an adult or hav grown up all the way bc i dont think that anyone ever stops growing up bc there is also somthing more to learn. I jus got divorced, been separated for a yr. im in a relationship with a pretty great guy, not getting tho. i am now living with my parents and am so grateful for all they for me. i rele am. i wudnt be where i am without them. i got my GED and am now in my second semester of college. working rele hard to stay on top of everything and still be a great mother. i know that bc i had a baby things had to change forever and that is the way it should be. i dont expect neone to raise my child bc it is my responsibility. i also know that my teen yrs were cut short and sometimes that is difficult to deal with but to make it clear i have never and will never regret having my daughter, i wudnt ever. but if i should want to go hangout, not party, but jus hangout. after she goes to sleep. i hav a cerfew of like 11:30 or 12 bc i hav to be home be so they can go to sleep. and i completely understand that. but on say a thursday or friday when i dont hav school the next day if i want my bf to come hangout at my house for awhile. he drives so they can go to sleep, they still put a cerfew on on how late he can stay, this doesnt make sense to me, bc they are not bothered by this they can go to sleep and i am still there to listen out for my daughter. and also that they hav no problem with my brother having ppl over at netime during the nite. i know that i hav responsibilities but as long meet them why cant i hav a life. i need some advice, am i wrong for thinking this way? and how should i approach them with this? without gettin my head chewed off or their famous bc i said so. or it's still my house my rules.I am a single teenage mother and im having some issues with my parents, need some advice?
Youre too old to have a curfew, but your mom is probably saying to you.. its your job to be here for your baby.. and she doesnt want to worry about it when she goes to sleep.. SOLUTION: Ask your date, if he would help defray the cost of a baby sitter.. hire one and stay out as late as you like..I am a single teenage mother and im having some issues with my parents, need some advice?
It doesn't have to make sense to you. It's their house, respect them and do as they ask....
you REALLY need to work on your grammar.
and your in COLLEGE????
just talk to them about it.
You already know the answer to this , but i will tell you anyway. They dont want you making the same mistake twice.
That being , getting yourself into another situation u can not handle. By your own admittance you said u have made mistakes of being in a relationship with an absive alchoholic and had a child which u most likely would not have had if u knew he was an abusive alchoholic.
All those mistakes led to the birth of a child in an abusive marriage , that would never have been born had u not made those mistakes in the first place.
Thats why u they are doing what they are doing.
How to fix the problem u have is about your boyfriend earning respect. Understand this, As a father , if i have a daughter living under my roof. No matter how old she is whether she is 19, 25, 36, 40. No boyfriend of hers will ever be sleeping over at home. No matter how much he wanted to prove to me how good he was for my daughter.
I will tell you why. If my daughter who is of age wanted to do that. Then she could move out and be with the guy, if thats what she wanted. If the guy was able to stand on his own two feet and provide for my daughter. I dont have a problem with that.
What i do have a problem with is if a guy thinks he will come over and sleep with my daughter in a bedroom i provided , while i provide for my daughter financially, feed her, clothe her. Provide her utilities water electricity. And he thinks he has the freedom to come over and stick his thing in my daughter! Not under my roof while i am providing for them.
If Mr Boyfriend wants her. He will have to prove himself to her. Treat her with respect. Make a sustainable home where he can provide for her. Then he can have her.
Not have sex with her while i provide for her. Thats what your asking for!
Its unacceptable.
Parents will always be there to pic up the pieces. Thats what your parents have done for you. Despite some of your bad judgments. No matter what u do they will be there for you. In return. You need to respect their wishes. its not much to ask.
If you think this guy is a good guy. You may not be ready to move out yet as it may be too early in the relationship. But while u are under their roof you can not expect your parents to give u the thing u ask, especially if that very thing was the one thing that got u into trouble in the first place.
Move out if u want that extra time with him. Its clear your back on your feet now after what has happened. or At least give it time for the boyfriend to warm up to the parents before u decide to move out.
You should handle this differently this time. Let the BOY earn the respect of your parents before you go that extra mile with him.
youre a 19 year old with a baby- youre lucky you can go out at all. they owe you nothing. remember that. on top of that- the reason they dont want you dating someone else is THEY DONT WANT YOU TO GET KNOCKED UP AGAIN!!!! you dont exactly have a great track record. you really should focus on getting your life in order and raising your daughter.
I commend you on your goals that are met. I know from experience it is hard as heck getting out of an abusive relationship. Many people think you can just leave, but its more to it than that. Your problem is you want to live as you did when you were out on your own. My advice is talk to your parents, tell them your feelings and your desire for a personal life. If this doesn't work, get a small apartment for you and your child and make your life how you want it. Good Luck %26amp; Keep your chin up.
Honey I can't tell you what to do but remember this you are living under their roof therefore you should respect their wish. Also you can sit down with them and talk like adult and make them understand. they are only protecting you from any harm honey. Parents are like that. I am father 4 and I know some time I am like that too with my children and there are all over 25 years age.
the first thing im going to tell you to do is to leave your husband asap. your life and your child's life is in danger. try to understand your parents. they just don't want you to make things harder for your self than they already are. and when you have a child your supposed to put all your attention on them but you are gonna need to relax to try to deal with whats in your hands right now. try to get a babysitter forat leastt one day.don'tt lie to them and say you have a ';doctorsappointmentn'; or something ike that. tell them the truth. tell them you want to have fun and relax for just one day so that you can ty toresolvee your problems. then you can try to talk to your parents. make them feel like they can trust you for one day. all you hae to do is regain the trust they had in you. and again leave your husband if hes abusive.
i think you need to write a little better...but i think you should talk to them about it. At least get a decent reasoning behind it all. you are a mother and you obviously take care of your child
Its the same old story it is their house and their rules and you are not going to change them. I really think they are afraid of you having another one and yes you have learned from your life lessons and when you graduate from college and get your own place then you can do whatever you want. I have to agree with your parents you wont understand until you are older and as far as your brother goes again its their house and their rules
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