my daughter is 11 (in 6th grade) and I'm confused about her personality. She has two so called bffs that pick on her. I even take one of them to and from school to help her parents out. But it seems these two girls are also friends with a girl that doesn't like my daughter and vice versa. At first my daughter was very whiney and was very upset about the ';mean'; girl. but i told her that not everyone can be her friend and to just let it go. she did. and she stopped trying to get her two bffs to pick her or the other. they co exists with snide comments here n there, she is no longer being bullied. she can stand on her own now. HOWEVER i don't like her two friends. I did give her good advice on how to deal with the bully but what do I tell her about her two bffs. they ARE NOT very good friends. i agree that they can't choose one or the other HOWEVER it seems that they can chose to not be mean to my daughter and yet they are when the mean girl makes comments or pulls pranks. is this a catty girl world i know nothing about? is this how it is? shouldn't i tell my daughter that REAL friends don't hurt each other and that these two sheep can be friends with my daughter and the mean girl BUT shouldn't participate in the mean girls antics? I'm so fed up with hearing that the two sheep (that's what i call them now) give my daughter jewelry, text her 24/7 and come to my house to hang out with my daughter and then I hear that they laughed their butts off when the mean girl kicked the back of my daughter's knees. I am so confused with todays idea of bffs. can anyone explain? I grew up in the BREAKFAST CLUB era, our boundaries and clicks were very clear and my best friends would NEVER side with my enemy. never.Need advice from parents of pre teen %26amp; teenage girls?
Well, I have come to learn that the ';Breakfast Club'; days have been replaced with the ';Gossip Girl'; phase. If you haven't heard of this show, you should watch and I think you would understand more of what you're daughter is going through. In the show, Blair is the leader of the mean girls and Jenny wants so desperately to be a part of the ';popular'; group. So, Blair puts Jenny through hazing; they are so mean to that poor girl. The mean girls get a kick out of it, but eventually Jenny realizes that it is not worth it. She finds friends who may not be the most popular, but they are her true friends. She had to learn the hard way, which may be the case for your daughter. At age 11, we were all try to find ourselves and find our place. She is going through a very confusing time right now, and in her mind these friends and that social group is important to her. But if she truly is not like those girls, in time she will stray away from them. The older she gets, the more she will be able to accept who she is and what she believes. I honestly think this is just a phase for her, and she will eventually snap out of it. Good Luck to you!Need advice from parents of pre teen %26amp; teenage girls?
her bfff's are trying to be more popular, and your daughter doesn't care about popularity. She'll probably make new friends later on, but for now tell her to stick up against the mean girl, if they start a feud, the two friends will have to decide between them.
it must be all about image in your case. these girls most probably are the 'populer girls' and your daughter thinks it looks cool to be around them. I know the feeling. Its not her fault. She will make her own mind up about these 'friends'.
girls will be girls. be wary of them though. girls switch friends all the time and just have to learn by themselves who they can trust and who they cannot.
Sounds like the ';sheep'; are not your daughter's bffs but are the mean girl's bffs and only your daughter's bf until the mean girl says so. If they won't support your daughter against this bully then their allegiance is known. However trying to convince your daughter of this fact will be quite hard and I have no advice on this.
Yes, you need to explain what a friend is and how this immature juvenile BS means they are NOT friends.
Sadly too many girls this age do not have enough parental attention, aren't corrected, have pizz-poor examples of what being a woman means and are left to imitate the crap they put on the tv. They have soap opera on the brain. BFF's...good lord. The drama and hysterics are intolerable.
Theirs is the generation of self-imposed ignorance, self-centeredness, self-indulgence and no responsibility. Don't let your kid be like that.
I am no parent but my little sister goes throught the same thing.Honestly, you will have to wait till she is older because kids these days are no longer how they were before. She cant make mature decisions like this because she is too young to comprehend fully what you mean. Give it some time. However, i strongly recommend that any physical bullying be reported. She will figure it out in time. For now continue to give her teh very good advice you are giving her. Definetly talk to the two best friends parents.
I would talk to the two (bffs) parents, they need to know as well what their kids are doing, and how they are treating their friends Im really sorry about what has being going on with your daughter, my daughter is 14 and had the same problems years ago... I hope everything works out.. maybe get your daughter involved in a sport or hobby that she could meet some other kids/teens her age... and get rid of these girls who arent treating her like real friends :)
Good luck !!!
EEEwwww this is a toughy. I am not the parent to an adolescent, however, I am an adult with a 14 year old sister... big age gap. What were my parents thinking?
I would continue to encourage her to hang out with other girls, but not by saying that her ';bffs'; are bad friends. Ultimately, she will resent that. Get her involved in other activities that these girls are not in and hopefully she will make new, better friends. You should continue to encourage her and be there for her. Have you talked to the parents of these girls? How about the girls? Not in a harrassing way, but just say, '; girls, I cant believe you laughed when (bully) kicked (daughter's) knees';. You are in a good position bc they come to your house. Be sure not to do it in a way that looks like your daughter ';tattled'; on them.
Good luck.
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