Im not a mom of teens yet (just toddlers) but I can say that your ex needs to mind his own business when it comes to something like that. Yes it will give the wrong message to your daughter...so if she gets on the pill she will think its okay to have sex...and what happens if she misses a pill.....? You keep doing the right thing and tell your ex to go piss off!!All the parents of teenage girls Please I need your advice.?
Thanks for the pts...I hope everything works out for you
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Yeah, agreed with what everyone's said so far. I'm 16, and I can tell you that if you put your daughter on the pill, it will give her a false sense of security AND it will make your daughter angry at you for seeming to not trust her enough to make the right choices.
It depends on the child. My teenager is NOT sexually active so she is NOT on the pill, however, If she were sexually active and I knew she was having sex then I would talk to her about how protect herself. I would much rather my child be on some form of birth control and be responsible then to not know and become pregnant. This type of situation is touchy.... You want to protect your children and hope that they do the right thing, however, you are not with them 24hours a day and if they are not making such great choices sexually then its good to be protected. My mother didnt talk with me about sex and protection when I was growing up and wish that she had. Just be open and honest with your daughter and tell her she can always come to you. At this point if you know she isnt having sex, dont even bother to bring up her being put on birth control, but be open enough with her that if she is going to then to talk to you... trust me, we were kids once and if we want to have sex we will but give her the knowledge first :)
I know I'm not a parent, but I am a teenager. Ask yourself, do I trust my daughter, or do I think I trust her? I would think that the pill would be a last resort. Did you think of doing this before or after the dad talked to you about it. If you didn't think of it yourself, then you don't really need to put her on the pill.
My daughter is 13 too. this is a very difficult age to be. Every child will experiment and some point and putting her on the pill would be quite a sensible thing to do however this may take away the risk to herself in her own mind and she may think that because shes safe then it will be ok to try. If you have a honest relationship with your daughter then she should talk to you when the time is right for her. Like you i know my daughter isn't sexually active but i do know that some of her school friends have tried it. You are teaching your daughter that its ok to be a virgin and that is good because there is so much peer pressure on them, Also some young people don't realise that getting pregnant isn't the only risk there are far worse risks like HIV, the pill will not protect against this. If you teach your daughter to be sensible then maybe when the time is right for her then she will use other contraception methods. Keep talking openly to her on the subject and let her know that she can talk to you about anything and try not to judge her because it is really hard for teens today. As far as your ex goes, this is something your daughter has to decide when she feels the time is right. There are health issues when taking the pill, they can cause side effects such as weight gain, thrombosis and headaches. Although these side effects are rare they do happen. I hope you keep close to your daughter because then she will trust you and the advice you give her. Good luck.
don't give her the pill, it will make her think you expect her to have sex and make the same mistakes as her sister. i would recommend talking to her about the issue, however...
well honestly in todays society u cant be 2 careful ...just cuz u think ur daughter isnt having sex dosnt mean u just dont know about it....at 13 i would hope not but it seems they are having sex younger and younger all the time.....maybe u should sit her down and make her feel comfortable enough to talk to u about it by telling her that her father wants her on the pill but u dont feel the need but if at anytime she even thinks that she may want to have sex that u want her to come to u for the proper birth control and condoms for stds because her life is more important to u than what society or anyone else in the world may think
Which would you prefer
Your daughter doesn't go on the pill and may or may not have sex and may or may not tell you about and may or may not get pregnant OR
your daughter goes on the pill and may or may not have sex and may or may not tell you about but has a .01 percent chance of becoming a teenage mother
My mom is Catholic but with me being the only child she still loved me enough to look past her beliefs and do what was best for me she put me on the shot at 14 and personally drove me to my appointments every 3 months and I may have been a wild child and gave her alot of sleepless nights but she gave me the time I needed to grow up I had my first daughter at 24 and my 2nd at 26 which is a rarity these days I was the last one of all my friends to have children and I will do the same for my daughters when they reach that age. Kids will do what they are going to do no matter what my first priority as a parent is to keep them as happy healthy and safe as I can while they are doing it
I have had friends put their daughters on the pill without their knowledge....';to protect them';. It can be very dangerous without a physician overseeing it...also what if she gets the pill and ends up double dosing. I think your daughter needs some honest talk and especially to know that if she does become sexually active that she needs to protect herself...not just from pregnancy but from STD's. Open communication is best but it is always a bit scary because of your worry about her thinking it is okay to have sex without the maturity to handle it. Knowing she can talk to you without freaking you out is the most important thing, so try not to show judgements but provide questions that help her think about all the consequences of her decisions whether it be about sex or drugs or.....?
I hope you don't mind a guy answering this, first of all, I would sit her down, and have a long talk with her about sex, how you feel, about birth control, the differnet types, etc, and because she is 13 show her some respect and ask her if she would like to go on the pill, but don't try and make her feel guilty if she says yes, but go ahead and do put her on it, but make sure she understands how you feel about her having sex at a young age, and that she can come talk to you at anytime about the subject. Also explain to her about the different sexually transmitted disease there are floating around now adays, chlymadia, gonnorhea, hiv, aids, herpes, as well as hepatitis, etc. and let her make the decision, but by all means support her in whatever she decideds,
No pill until she wants to be active.
I would not put her on the pill. I think you have done well if you
are in the open with discussions on sex. Not many parents will talk freely with their kids about sex.
My daughter's dad was a jerk also. Don't put her on the pill. Even if you have to hide that from him. You are doing a great job! Go with your instincts! She will trust you more if you can discuss this with her openly and give her the reasons. This kind of communication is essential with teens.
Talk with your daughter about relationships and sex. She may be doing more than you think so you need to let her know that she can talk to you (if you already don't do that). Ask her how she feels about the pill. At 13, she is able to understand and have an informed discussion about it. It's great for some people to say that she is too young but reality is that she is at (or close to) the age where she will be thinking about it and starting to experiment. Communication is the best thing for now. I wouldn't just put her on the pill without talking to her first. She may surprise you.
I have 2 girls a little older than yours and they are both on the pill. That doesnt mean Go a head and have sex. It means, I am a responsible mother and am protecting my daughter from something she might not be able to protect herself from as a teen
Why give her unnecessary medication!? That should be obvious to your husband.
Go ahead and put her on the pill, first off all your lovie-dovie ';finding Mr. Right'; isn't any kind of reality.
It's a fantasy that has all too many teenage girls getting pregnant.
Secondly, being on the pill early can actually help regulate it, lessen cramping and generally make her feel better during her periods.
Thirdly, keep track of who she hangs out with. Get to know her friends, their parents and such.
Trust me, a parent who knows who their child's friends and families are is less likely to do something stupid...the embarrassment would be enormous!
I have a teenage son, who's been dating the same girl for two and a half years now. They're still virgins because we're way to into their lives. They don't have a chance to do anything stupid.
Besides, both her parents and myself would kill both of them if they tried!
I know you want your daughter to remain ';pure'; but you can't just hide your head in the sand and hope reality just goes away. That's what gets all too many kids into trouble.
You have to be strong even hardnosed about it sometimes. Ignorance only leads to trouble, for you and her!
Don't risk either.
Putting your daughter on the pill isn't an invitation to have sex. The pill is also a wonderful way to regulate her periods. With any type of birth-control comes responsibility , you need to make your daughter aware of this, the most important thing you can do is first and foremost ask your current husband to back off , second have a heart to heart with your daughter. I was put on birth-control pills at the age of fourteen and I did not have sex until I got married. whatever it is that you want for your daughter , you have to remember it is her choice, give her the option to make an informed decision.
You're on the right track about this. Your ex is judging her just because his daughter got pregnant. Where's his faith and trust in the 13 year old daughter? She hasn't done anything to break the trust and make anyone loose faith in her. All I can say is thank God she has you for a mother and not solely the ex to guide her in life.
Don't put her on the pill - it's not good for her and will indicate that you expect her to have sex.
I have 2 daughters I never gave the pill to either. I, too taught them to wait for that special person. I enforced it with STD %26amp; aids are not stopped by pill. When you sleep with one person, you sleep with everyone they have slept with. Aids can wait years to show any sympthoms but it is still easy to pass to another.
Don't put her on the pill. When I was 16 my Mom made me go on the pill, and it made me think she expects me to have sex, so I should. Then I started thinking about how I was taking a pill everyday, and was only having sex once a week or so, and didn't think it was worth it, so I wasn't taking the pill regularly like I should've been, and that kinda defeated the purpose of being on th pill to begin with (but luckily I didn't get pregnent). Anyway, putting her on the pill, at that age, and especially when she's not having sex is a bad idea (imo). I agree that she may feel that you don't trust her as well.
She's too young. The pill is powerful stuff. You wouldn't give her antibiotics to keep her from getting a cold, right? The key here is COMMUNICATION. I have two daughters, 22 and 18. We talked all the time about important matters like this. What I stressed to my girls was this: the decision to have sex is a big one. You cannot take it back once you've slept with someone. It should be special, and not done so you don't lose a boy, or to ';prove your love'; to a boy. I told them that if they found someone they loved, who loved them back, and that they felt they were old enough to handle the powerful emotions behind sex, they could come to me and we would talk about it. Most importantly, I stressed this fact: a baby is a heckuva lot easier to PREVENT than to RAISE. Your daughter will appreciate the fact that you respect and trust her enough to come to you with questions, and she will do the right thing and not jump into having sex before she's ready.
P.S. In their late teens, both my girls went on the pill to regulate their period and take care of acne. Neither one of them started having sex when they started the pill. Give your daughter some credit for being smart enough to separate the two.
what did you do? were you a virgin for your husband, actions speak louder than words, you can try to fake her out but she can tell if you were a sl'ut or not. she will emulate you. give her the pill, just because you wanna be right and holier than thou doesn't mean she won't diddle her first love , don't wreck her life because you wanna be right.
My daughter is 17 and is is NOT on the pill. She has made the choice to wait till she gets married. We have stressed to her that sex isnt important to have a boyfriend. She knows she can talk to us about anything. That is the biggest thing,Being able to talk to her.
you are doing the right thing.. try and keep a very honest relatoionship with your daughter... her being on the pill may help her if she has difficult periods.. i would not want to put my child on any pills before they need it.. 15-16 years.. 13 is kinda young... (talk to a doctor) DO NOT tell her not to have sex.. tell her she needs to be very picky.. tell her that it is ok to have sex once you know them ( GET STD TESTED BEFORE!!!!) and that she should tell you so you can help her get her and her boyfriend tested.. let her know that mistakes happen and that you will be there for her no matter what.. talk to her about your exs oldest daughter. .how good is her life?? is she in college.. does she have nice things.. tell your daughter that she deserves the best life / and being a teen mom will get her no where , except a life of forgotten dreams .. if she does get pregnant (hopefully not until she is ready) .. do not get upset in front of her. it took a lot for her to tell you/// if you decide you can choose to help her with an abortion, i know it is conterversial.. but it beats her living trashy and it will give her a new chance at life/.. good luck and mother knows best.. not Father..
make sure you dont give her the pill - that is not needed she is only 13 and if she does get pregnat it is not your fault :)
I would not do it yet. But I would sit your daughter down and talk to her about it. Tell her that if she is ever in the position that you want her to come to you so you can protect her. I had the same thing happen to me a couple months ago. (with my daughter) Some say your just giving her a free ticket, but my view is once they do it there is usually no turning back. I would rather protect my daughter and educate her then to have her pregnant. Just talk to her and tell her you will not be mad, but that you love her and want to protect her. Also make sure you talk to her about all the STD's especially the HPV one. Be honest and open with her at all times.
You are absolutely correct to refuse to allow your 13-yr old to go on the pill. It is ridiculous that we live in a society where a mother shoudl be faced with such a decision. The best advice I can give you is to tell you HOW I have dealt with bringing up my teenage daughter in a Christian way (I the a father of a similar aged girl) . (1) Say 'no' when you need to say 'no' to anything but (2) explain to her WHY you have said 'no' or taken a decison. Explain to her the dangers of PREGNANCY, of DRUG taking etc For example, there is no way my daughter is going to keep company with people I disapprove of. You need to remember that children such as your daughter, have no right to a private life as such, even though schools tell our kids that they have that right. The big mistakes our teenagers commit... always during those periods of stupid freedom.
Besides, her tiny and still undeveloped body at 13, on the pill, will be affected in a trememdous way. She might become obese (fat and over weight); it might even contribute to cancer... SEE A DOCTOR and be strong. YOu can only always come here for support from other parents. ( I am one), Finally, if your daughter is having sex and still a teenager IT IS YOUR FAULT. You have failed. It is your responsibility to keep her from being boys subject of sexual experiemtation. Your daughter is worth more than that. Don't fail her... Fight for her so she can continue to be a child for as long as Nature dictates. The longer the period of childhood, the stronger adult she willl be
I'm 15 years old. If my parents put me on the pill, i'd think that they don't trust me at all, that they think it's ok in my age to have sex and that's why they did that.... It's better for you to make your daughter a responsile person who will know when the time has come and if it's the right person. It's not easy, i'm sure it won't be easy. But by putting her on the pill, she'll think that you take her as a';copy'; of your ex's daughter.. I wouldn't agry with doing this. just tell her that when she decides to get sexual active, she can tell it to you and that you'll do your best to protect her from an unwilling pregnancy.
i am 13 years old. i think ur ex is really stupid for suggesting the idea. Just because his other daughter screwed someone at an early age and got pregnant and ruined her life, dosne mean ur daughter will. im sure u r a great mother, but if u put ur daughter on th pill she will not only think it is ok but she will think that u dont trust her, and then she wont trust u.
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