Hey guys i know this might sound strange but i have a 3months old daughter and don't know who the father is. I was drugged and had sex with a guy that i can't remember. My mum passed away and i have only a dad who is a drunk. He sponsors my education tough but since i got pregnant he has abandoned me and calls me all sort of names. He doesn't seem interested in anything i do again. I can't stop my education now and i can't keep my child now. This is a difficult time for me but i have spoken with some other friends and counsellors and they tell me that the best option is adoption. I love my daughter and will like to see her grow to a respectable lady but i can't provide for her now. So any advice will be highly appreciated. Thanks to you all.I'm a Teenage Mother seeking Advice from others?
I applaud you for your self-less decision. Like any good mother you want what is best for your baby. Adoption is a wonderful option, this site may help you:
http://www.adoptionisthebestoption.yolas鈥?/a>I'm a Teenage Mother seeking Advice from others?
Links that can help you learn how to be able to keep your baby.
There also links that will show you how adoption affects a Mother and her child..
http://www.cubirthparents.org
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_fa鈥?/a>
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php
http://www.adoptingback.com/resources.ht鈥?/a>
babyandbump.com
PLEASE, keep your child. You are all that she knows in this world, and you are the only one who YOU KNOW will try their very hardest to keep her safe. Putting her up for adoption doesn't automagically mean that she'll go to a rich home with a loving family - adopters can be as abusive as biological parents.
dont listen to anyone else, if u love ur baby keep her. dont listen to the person who said give it to a nice family wot ur baby needs is its mother. there are ways to sort ur life out. if u give her up for adoption u will probably never see her again, and she is 3 months old she has probably bonded with u already, it will mess her head up.
i would give her up for adoption because you want the best for her and right now your not in a great situation. i think you should give her to a family that wants a baby more than anything. it would mean so much to that couple because pretty much all people that want to adopt are people that can not have children of their own.
you might want to keep her you had her for 3 months i mean that would be hard im sure not seeeing her ever again this baby you love so much there are asst. that will help you out hun i think its a hard life for you right now but it does just better good luck
Don't be an abandoner. You chose to bring a child into this world, now do your job and be a mother.
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/open_adoptio鈥?/a>
Go into foster care take your baby with you, You won't be young all your life. So it will get easier.
It does sound like you made your mind up but plz dont rush. The question is do you love your daughter or school more. Shes your blood and fresh carried her for 9 months and went through painfull labour. and if yu do give her up then you might think that she will go to repectfull adopties. However shes only 3 months. She cant tell you what they do to her feed her, where she sleeps, if she even does sleep or anything else, but they well tell you as always shes very happy being educated loving family blah blah blah. If i was you then keep your child and quit skool. You can look after her untill shes around the age of 3 and then she can go to a toddler group and you can start skool again. Hope a convinced you. One day if u do give her up then you mite realise what a terrible mistake you made.
im really sorry that your not supported by your family.
%26amp; who ever did that to you is a real *** hole and its good to see that you didnt give up on the baby. that shows your a really strong person.
im 15 and have a 7 month old boy.
i had to quit school and do night school now.
i thought about adoption but i didnt need it cus i had a mother who supported my but my father is a crack addict. i thought about how my baby would feel growing up in a enviornment like that. but i would never leave my baby home alone with him%26amp; my father calls me lots of mean names for having a baby. but i love my son and would never give her up. dont let your father bring you down about your baby. if you feel that you canh andle this baby on your own then i think you shoulld. like i said your story shows that your a strong girl, i think you should try for a little longer with your baby, but if you feel that it gets too hard and you cant handle it, im sure your daughter would understand when shes older.
i got pregnant young at 15 with my first child. i had her at 16. my mom kicked me out when she found out i was pregnant and i had to live in a teenager mother shelter with my child. i had to quit school too but i went back to school and finished college and now im an LPN. im 28 and the proud mother of 5 children. we own a 4 bedroom house paid for in cash. the road was long and tough, and my first childs father left me when i was 19. but i have found a great man who helps me and loves me who ended up marrying me when i was 21.
you need to figure out what is best for you and your baby. while its nice to have family support, sometimes that always doesnt happen. you can do anything if you try hard, and dont let anyone get you down or pressure you! you can keep your child, the question is, do you want to?
This is not a puppy. you dont get to keep her for 3 months then give it away like a sweater that didnt fit right. Shes your daughter! life will tough but guess what? thats what happens when you have a baby!. Put your education on hold for a while and take care of your baby. Or guess what? DO BOTH. I'm a mother of TWO, go to college fulltime and work and still make time for my children. You made an adult choice to have her now you must act like an adult and take care of her.
Adoption is a great option. That's a constant opinion of mine.
However, have you looked into difference programs and organizations that can help you financially and emotionally so you don't have to put her up for adoption?
Please consider this carefully. You can't turn back time.
If you decide on adoption, open adoption will allow you access to your child in some way..if only through communications. We are doing this now and plan on doing that for our next child. But please understand, there is no guarantee the openness will be maintained.
That's why you should take some good time thinking about this.
Good luck. All the best.
IT SOUNDSLIKE A GOOD PLAN BUT AT THE SAME TIME I THINK IS A BAD CHOICE YOU WENT 9 MONTHS WITH THE BBY AND LABOR AND YOU HAD ER FOR 3 MONTHS NOW WHY WOULD YOU GIVE UP ON HER I KNO IS HARD IM 17 AND I HAVE A 1YEAR OLD BOY I QUIT SKOOL BUT IIM GOING BACK NEXT YEAR ....WELL ALL I COULD SAY IS TO GO TO A SHELTER WITH YOUR DAUGTHER THEY WILL HELP GET A HOME FOR YOU AND HER THEY WILL HELP FINISH SCHOOL AND GET A JOB A BABYSITTER FOR YOUR BABY DNT LET GO OF HER NOW THAT SHE 3 MONTHS IT HARD BUT THE SWEETEST THING IS WHEN YOU SEE YOUR OWN CHILD GROW ....SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO YOU..SORRY ABOUT YOUR MOM, AND TRIED TO FIND WHO THE BABY DADDY PROBABLY HE WILL HELP YOU OUT AND IF NOT FORGET HIM
Under the circumstances of her conception, it is honorable that you chose to go ';full term';, giving her a chance for a life. God Bless you.
It is sad that Your Dad is such an @$$. As I see it, You are a far better person than he is.
IF there is any way you can keep her, do so. Your intentions are great, but I've learned here that sometimes ';bad people'; can adopt children too, not just ';good people';. IF you have ANY decent relative, try and work something out with them. IF you do end up giving her up, keep a journal for her to read when she comes looking for you. It can tell ';your side of the story';.
Prayers %26amp; best wishes for you BOTH!
It sounds like you have already made your decision. I think adoption sounds great for you %26amp; your baby. She will get a nice family who will love her %26amp; can provide a good life for her. I think that would be best, from what you told us.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Anybody parents of teenage boys? need advice?
see, my parents don't have influence whatsoever on my younger brother, he's 14. usually i would keep out things like this, i'm not his mom and don't really care. but seeing as how my parents are powerless over anything he does, they are more like his ';slaves';, i figured i would ask for advice from anonymous people here b/c they are worried about them and are asking for my help.
he's always been a pretty good kid, but this year he seemed to have made a complete 360 on his personality. he is extremely aggressive, and does not hesitate to hit or curse out anyone if they cross him, i mean ANYBODY. my mom says she found condoms in his bookbag and each condom had a girl's name on it, and the other day found him secretly making out with a girl in somewhere. he's ok in school i guess, and most of the time we get along well, but he has lashed out at me as well, and for the stupidest things.
he also has foul language and i have heard him cursing out girls over the phone ';playfully';Anybody parents of teenage boys? need advice?
So I think there are two parts to my answer. The first one, is that he is 14. So part of it is pretty normal. I have a 13 going on 36 year old, and over the last three months I have definately seen a big time change in his attitude and behaior. I remember the same thing in my brothers when they both hit about this age, give or take a year. Its like they find their feet and their mouth, and it just takes off with them. So yeah, part of it is pretty normal for some kids. My kiddo shows this behavior by being way more mouthy than he ever has, by going OUT of his way to disrupt every ones flow, and testing his language out on us. There have been two incedents that involved innapropriate behavior with the opposite sex. We just tell him, you are our son, not a buddy. Thats not ok to act/talk like that to us at all. If he does it again he looses something(cell phone and computer hurt the most, so they are used the most) With aggrsseive or obnoxious behavior, I can't like that either, and get loud back at him, where ever we are. He figured it out, if he was going to be a jerk in public, or even here at home to me, I was going to LET him know its not ok. Like your brother he is a pretty good kid too. It was a little shocking when this came out of the blue.
With hitting, and cussing out girls(playful or not!) thats really not ok, not to anyone. It needs to be put to a stop in a hurry before he starts to think he can get away with it. With the condoms, is he using them, or are they an attention getter with his buddies? LOL I guess if I found that in my sons backpack I would cross out the girls name and put his buddies on their, and let him bring THAT to school once. Then he would ever be in for a talking to, and the one big point I would get across is since he is carrying condems I have to assume he is useing them, then go on to seriously restrict the time he has all to himself without parents/adults around for a while. Next stop would be an STD clinic. First to make sure there is no problem, but second to drive home a valuable if embarrassing lesson.....there is no 100% safe sex. (don't want any grandkis just yet...)
Point is all about boundries. If you can't convince your parents to set them, then make sure you set them for yourself with him.Anybody parents of teenage boys? need advice?
im embarassed to sy i tend to have anger roblems so i have counselling
He hit puberty..
don't worry be glad there is nothing you can do..
Wow! I'm am 13. I'm the smartest in my grade at a Catholic school. I've never witnessed something like this. My little brother is 11 and I know that he looks at some porn but I know that is somewhat normal. This is VERY concerning. Porn is normal but writing girls' names on condoms is NOT good. I think that you need to suck it up and tell your parents to DO SOMETHING NOW.
he's always been a pretty good kid, but this year he seemed to have made a complete 360 on his personality. he is extremely aggressive, and does not hesitate to hit or curse out anyone if they cross him, i mean ANYBODY. my mom says she found condoms in his bookbag and each condom had a girl's name on it, and the other day found him secretly making out with a girl in somewhere. he's ok in school i guess, and most of the time we get along well, but he has lashed out at me as well, and for the stupidest things.
he also has foul language and i have heard him cursing out girls over the phone ';playfully';Anybody parents of teenage boys? need advice?
So I think there are two parts to my answer. The first one, is that he is 14. So part of it is pretty normal. I have a 13 going on 36 year old, and over the last three months I have definately seen a big time change in his attitude and behaior. I remember the same thing in my brothers when they both hit about this age, give or take a year. Its like they find their feet and their mouth, and it just takes off with them. So yeah, part of it is pretty normal for some kids. My kiddo shows this behavior by being way more mouthy than he ever has, by going OUT of his way to disrupt every ones flow, and testing his language out on us. There have been two incedents that involved innapropriate behavior with the opposite sex. We just tell him, you are our son, not a buddy. Thats not ok to act/talk like that to us at all. If he does it again he looses something(cell phone and computer hurt the most, so they are used the most) With aggrsseive or obnoxious behavior, I can't like that either, and get loud back at him, where ever we are. He figured it out, if he was going to be a jerk in public, or even here at home to me, I was going to LET him know its not ok. Like your brother he is a pretty good kid too. It was a little shocking when this came out of the blue.
With hitting, and cussing out girls(playful or not!) thats really not ok, not to anyone. It needs to be put to a stop in a hurry before he starts to think he can get away with it. With the condoms, is he using them, or are they an attention getter with his buddies? LOL I guess if I found that in my sons backpack I would cross out the girls name and put his buddies on their, and let him bring THAT to school once. Then he would ever be in for a talking to, and the one big point I would get across is since he is carrying condems I have to assume he is useing them, then go on to seriously restrict the time he has all to himself without parents/adults around for a while. Next stop would be an STD clinic. First to make sure there is no problem, but second to drive home a valuable if embarrassing lesson.....there is no 100% safe sex. (don't want any grandkis just yet...)
Point is all about boundries. If you can't convince your parents to set them, then make sure you set them for yourself with him.Anybody parents of teenage boys? need advice?
im embarassed to sy i tend to have anger roblems so i have counselling
He hit puberty..
don't worry be glad there is nothing you can do..
Wow! I'm am 13. I'm the smartest in my grade at a Catholic school. I've never witnessed something like this. My little brother is 11 and I know that he looks at some porn but I know that is somewhat normal. This is VERY concerning. Porn is normal but writing girls' names on condoms is NOT good. I think that you need to suck it up and tell your parents to DO SOMETHING NOW.
Why does a teenage girl with an ok life feel SO ALONE? advice is needed..?
im 15 and i have the whole world going for me, im pretty smart[not a genius] and have many good friend yet i cant be content with who iam because..
i feel so alone and have been let down by misleading guys twice. im a hopeless romantic living ina small town not many guy choices nor many good ones.
i feel alone a lot and want to cry[sounds emo, but if you knew me im not that type of person i am just confused by my emotions]
Anyone else feel like if they dont have a boyfriend they feel unwanted and unloved? i mean i am loved by guy friends,friends,family god. ect im not sucicidal as someone else tryed to state i can look at the +'s but latley i just cannot keep my head up .. any adivceWhy does a teenage girl with an ok life feel SO ALONE? advice is needed..?
Mostly what you need to do sugar is just try to focus intently on something that interests you ,,,,
You just need to learn patience is all ,,,, Occupy your mind with more constructive things to do ,,,,
Things will eventually come your way but only in their own good time not yours ,,,,
Don't be in such a hurry ,,,, That could lead to mistakes and mistakes and regret are things that could last you the rest of your life ,,,,
Things will come right for you and you'll eventually meet that Mr Right guy ,,,, Just don't fall for or settle for second best ever ,,,, That could lead to regret that could haunt you the rest of your life too ,,,,
You get a star from me for this one because it's a problem allot of girls have ,,,, You aren't alone ,,,,
Yoda said this ,,,,Why does a teenage girl with an ok life feel SO ALONE? advice is needed..?
Been there, done that. I'm 21 and haven't had a b/f. Is this a cautionary tale? Well, yes and no.
It's great to have high standards, especially if you have a lot going for you high standards is a MUST.
However, if you're shy like me, try to break out of your shell a little. This will help you realize that there are a FEW great guys out there and some of them may be checking you out, too.
Just smile! and don't be afraid to flirt a little. I wish I would have known this earlier, but I'm no longer shy, so :)
Good luck!!! And keep ya head up and your standards high. You'll find someone who (almost) deserves a great girl like you.
Oh sweetie... The world sucks when you are a teenager. What I did was found a teenage counselor and started talking about how I feel, It helped.
There are hotlines, web sites... Just try to keep your chin up and I'll pray for you!
Yeah I know sometimes I think everyone has that point in their life when they feel alone even though they have everyone there for them. I think you should take things slow with the romantic thing because you're still young so I think you should still explore and keep your options open.
I'm 15 and doing just fine single. Most guys aren't serious about relationships in high school, so I'm waiting a bit.
Try hanging out with your friends more in this time of need. Do something thanks makes you feel good-if it's shopping, playing video games or whatever. I highly advise you not to online date no matter how hard your situation is.
Hang in there! Best wishes to you. ^^
we all feel down sometimes, and yes you do sound kind of emo, but anyways it happens
anyways hope you feel better
All you have is two more years of bull feces to wade through until you can get on with the rest of your life. Why would you want to waste time with losers who don't see you for how great you are anyway? Get good grades so you can go to school in a big city, but not New York. They have a lousy girl-to-guy ratio.
just hang in there its not great advice but i get depressed as hell too and i am in my twenties. i feel alone all the time too and have never really been in a serious relationship. if your looking for a bf i would try to have maybe one of your friends try to hook you up.
Sounds like mild depression. You are also going through a very hormonal time in your life. Find a hobby. Volunteer at a hospital or old folks home. Get your mind off of YOU.
my long-lost sister
I totally get what you mean and you know what its pretty normal to feel that way.
There are ups and downs in life and lonliness is somtimes a part of it.
Try and keep yourself occupied and get other interests, it will take your mind of your lonliness and you wont have time to be lonely as you will be busy.
As for the guy part you will find someone at some point just dont be in a rush or you could get yourself into something you dont want to be in.
Hats off to you for being so mature and really wanting to find out more about your emotions.
Dont stress though just busy yourself. You will be fine. Its just a small hurdle and you should be okay!!
Take Care
Welcome to the story of my life. ha ha and I'm only 6 years older than you. If you need some one to talk to just e-mail me at askpdubs@yahoo.com I would be more than happy to listen, well read. And help you through stuff... Trust me, I just did all of this a few years ago :)
look everyone gets depressed sumtimes i mean thinngs r hard and everythin is changin but it really helps just to do somthin to get ur mind off it
you make your life happy not anyone else. Just find the one thing in life that makes you happy and maybe you will be alittle more content in your situation.
Welcome to adulthood, the world is tough, and we all feel alone sometimes. Just focus on the fact that your still alive and tomorrow can be what ever you make it. It will definately all work out, it's just tough being a teenager, especially in a small town.
I think you are attaching too much significance to your lack of a boyfriend which is fueling your feelings of depression and worthlessness. As you are only 15, you have a somewhat limited dating pool. As you get older and go away to school, I think you will find more opportunities to meet people which will increase your odds of finding a suitable candidate to be your boyfriend.
By the way, I don't find your description of yourself to qualify you as a hopeless romantic, but rather you are a hopefull romantic. Your mission is to increase your chances of meeting people...so take the advice of many of the others posting answers to your question and get involved in activities that boys would also be interested in.
dont worry..i feel the same way. im 15 also and when i see other girls with their boyfriends,i feel somewhat jealous. i hate to admit it. i say to myself ';why cant i fall in love?'; or ';why cant i find a guy who will love me?';. its not emo in any way, a lot of people think this way. i think its too soon to find a true love, so dont give up hope. you dont have to be loved, to love yourself and who you are. you sound like a great girl, so the right person will come around. its just a matter of time.
We have our good and bad days and sometime we focus on the negatives. Don't let this get the best of you.
You have a long way to go just do good in school and hangout with friends for now. Don't stress about having a bf because when they break up with you'll be stress even more.
Not to sound like your mom or anything, but at 15 you should'nt be worried about your love life. Dont get me wrong it's okay to date (depending on your parents), but worrying about feeling unloved should be the last thing on your mind. You have plenty of heartache ahead of you...trust me. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl and you should first put this much time, energy and love within yourself.
If your 15, your emotions are just going to be like that for the next few years. Try doing cardio 30 min. 3-5 times a week. I love running early in the morning. This will use up some of the hormones that are bothering you. Also get pleanty of sleep and eat right. Chin up girl, this will only last a little while, and almost every one else goes through the exact same thing.
It's pretty typical to have these feelings at your age. It can be lonely when it seems like all of your friends have found someone while you are still alone. The trick is not to settle for someone in an attempt to avoid feeling lonely. If you settle for someone who is below your standards just to avoid feeling lonely, you will regret it later. It actually sounds like you have a very full life and are wanted and loved by many people. Try to focus on all the good things you have going for you. If you find yourself feeling lonely or bored, think about becoming a volunteer for a local social service agency. Being a volunteer is a very rewarding experience and it also looks great on a college application. It should help you feel better about yourself too. As for the slim pickings of quality guys in your small town, perhaps you should consider going away for college. You don't have that much longer to wait, and college is a wonderful time to meet new people and discover new places.
i feel so alone and have been let down by misleading guys twice. im a hopeless romantic living ina small town not many guy choices nor many good ones.
i feel alone a lot and want to cry[sounds emo, but if you knew me im not that type of person i am just confused by my emotions]
Anyone else feel like if they dont have a boyfriend they feel unwanted and unloved? i mean i am loved by guy friends,friends,family god. ect im not sucicidal as someone else tryed to state i can look at the +'s but latley i just cannot keep my head up .. any adivceWhy does a teenage girl with an ok life feel SO ALONE? advice is needed..?
Mostly what you need to do sugar is just try to focus intently on something that interests you ,,,,
You just need to learn patience is all ,,,, Occupy your mind with more constructive things to do ,,,,
Things will eventually come your way but only in their own good time not yours ,,,,
Don't be in such a hurry ,,,, That could lead to mistakes and mistakes and regret are things that could last you the rest of your life ,,,,
Things will come right for you and you'll eventually meet that Mr Right guy ,,,, Just don't fall for or settle for second best ever ,,,, That could lead to regret that could haunt you the rest of your life too ,,,,
You get a star from me for this one because it's a problem allot of girls have ,,,, You aren't alone ,,,,
Yoda said this ,,,,Why does a teenage girl with an ok life feel SO ALONE? advice is needed..?
Been there, done that. I'm 21 and haven't had a b/f. Is this a cautionary tale? Well, yes and no.
It's great to have high standards, especially if you have a lot going for you high standards is a MUST.
However, if you're shy like me, try to break out of your shell a little. This will help you realize that there are a FEW great guys out there and some of them may be checking you out, too.
Just smile! and don't be afraid to flirt a little. I wish I would have known this earlier, but I'm no longer shy, so :)
Good luck!!! And keep ya head up and your standards high. You'll find someone who (almost) deserves a great girl like you.
Oh sweetie... The world sucks when you are a teenager. What I did was found a teenage counselor and started talking about how I feel, It helped.
There are hotlines, web sites... Just try to keep your chin up and I'll pray for you!
Yeah I know sometimes I think everyone has that point in their life when they feel alone even though they have everyone there for them. I think you should take things slow with the romantic thing because you're still young so I think you should still explore and keep your options open.
I'm 15 and doing just fine single. Most guys aren't serious about relationships in high school, so I'm waiting a bit.
Try hanging out with your friends more in this time of need. Do something thanks makes you feel good-if it's shopping, playing video games or whatever. I highly advise you not to online date no matter how hard your situation is.
Hang in there! Best wishes to you. ^^
we all feel down sometimes, and yes you do sound kind of emo, but anyways it happens
anyways hope you feel better
All you have is two more years of bull feces to wade through until you can get on with the rest of your life. Why would you want to waste time with losers who don't see you for how great you are anyway? Get good grades so you can go to school in a big city, but not New York. They have a lousy girl-to-guy ratio.
just hang in there its not great advice but i get depressed as hell too and i am in my twenties. i feel alone all the time too and have never really been in a serious relationship. if your looking for a bf i would try to have maybe one of your friends try to hook you up.
Sounds like mild depression. You are also going through a very hormonal time in your life. Find a hobby. Volunteer at a hospital or old folks home. Get your mind off of YOU.
my long-lost sister
I totally get what you mean and you know what its pretty normal to feel that way.
There are ups and downs in life and lonliness is somtimes a part of it.
Try and keep yourself occupied and get other interests, it will take your mind of your lonliness and you wont have time to be lonely as you will be busy.
As for the guy part you will find someone at some point just dont be in a rush or you could get yourself into something you dont want to be in.
Hats off to you for being so mature and really wanting to find out more about your emotions.
Dont stress though just busy yourself. You will be fine. Its just a small hurdle and you should be okay!!
Take Care
Welcome to the story of my life. ha ha and I'm only 6 years older than you. If you need some one to talk to just e-mail me at askpdubs@yahoo.com I would be more than happy to listen, well read. And help you through stuff... Trust me, I just did all of this a few years ago :)
look everyone gets depressed sumtimes i mean thinngs r hard and everythin is changin but it really helps just to do somthin to get ur mind off it
you make your life happy not anyone else. Just find the one thing in life that makes you happy and maybe you will be alittle more content in your situation.
Welcome to adulthood, the world is tough, and we all feel alone sometimes. Just focus on the fact that your still alive and tomorrow can be what ever you make it. It will definately all work out, it's just tough being a teenager, especially in a small town.
I think you are attaching too much significance to your lack of a boyfriend which is fueling your feelings of depression and worthlessness. As you are only 15, you have a somewhat limited dating pool. As you get older and go away to school, I think you will find more opportunities to meet people which will increase your odds of finding a suitable candidate to be your boyfriend.
By the way, I don't find your description of yourself to qualify you as a hopeless romantic, but rather you are a hopefull romantic. Your mission is to increase your chances of meeting people...so take the advice of many of the others posting answers to your question and get involved in activities that boys would also be interested in.
dont worry..i feel the same way. im 15 also and when i see other girls with their boyfriends,i feel somewhat jealous. i hate to admit it. i say to myself ';why cant i fall in love?'; or ';why cant i find a guy who will love me?';. its not emo in any way, a lot of people think this way. i think its too soon to find a true love, so dont give up hope. you dont have to be loved, to love yourself and who you are. you sound like a great girl, so the right person will come around. its just a matter of time.
We have our good and bad days and sometime we focus on the negatives. Don't let this get the best of you.
You have a long way to go just do good in school and hangout with friends for now. Don't stress about having a bf because when they break up with you'll be stress even more.
Not to sound like your mom or anything, but at 15 you should'nt be worried about your love life. Dont get me wrong it's okay to date (depending on your parents), but worrying about feeling unloved should be the last thing on your mind. You have plenty of heartache ahead of you...trust me. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl and you should first put this much time, energy and love within yourself.
If your 15, your emotions are just going to be like that for the next few years. Try doing cardio 30 min. 3-5 times a week. I love running early in the morning. This will use up some of the hormones that are bothering you. Also get pleanty of sleep and eat right. Chin up girl, this will only last a little while, and almost every one else goes through the exact same thing.
It's pretty typical to have these feelings at your age. It can be lonely when it seems like all of your friends have found someone while you are still alone. The trick is not to settle for someone in an attempt to avoid feeling lonely. If you settle for someone who is below your standards just to avoid feeling lonely, you will regret it later. It actually sounds like you have a very full life and are wanted and loved by many people. Try to focus on all the good things you have going for you. If you find yourself feeling lonely or bored, think about becoming a volunteer for a local social service agency. Being a volunteer is a very rewarding experience and it also looks great on a college application. It should help you feel better about yourself too. As for the slim pickings of quality guys in your small town, perhaps you should consider going away for college. You don't have that much longer to wait, and college is a wonderful time to meet new people and discover new places.
I recently found out that my teenage son is sexually active and I'm very upset. Any advice.?
My son is 17, will be 18 in November. I recently found out he and his girlfriend of about a year are sexually active (I found condoms in his room and when I confronted him about them, he told me everything).
While I am not naive, I am very old fashioned and I have tried to teach my children that sex is something that should be saved for marriage. What scared me most is when I tried to explain this to him again, just to reiterate, he acted as if I was crazy for beleiving such things! After 17 years of trying to teach him!!
I am just so worried that he and his girlfriend are not emotionally ready for sex, let alone what would ever happen if God forbid she got pregnant. I am also concerned about what effect this information will have on my 3 younger children (all girls ages 15, 13 and 9).
Any advice from parents who have had to deal with similar situacions is welcomed.
Thanks from a very concerned and heart-broken mother...I recently found out that my teenage son is sexually active and I'm very upset. Any advice.?
Well sounds like you’ve already done all the standard tactics that had absolutely zero impact on your son. (yell, threaten, scold, panic, get vapors, interrogate,,, etc..)
#1 “While I am not naïve..” Yes you are. You expect your children to be completely obedient to each and every one of your decisions about life. That may work when they are young, but by the time they reach 16-17 they are making their own decisions, judgments, etc. in life. At what point will it be ok with you for him to make his own decisions in life,, 25-28-30 ??
#2 Stop with all the “After 17 years of trying to teach him!!” “heart-broken mother” stuff. This isn’t about you or your failure to teach him. I have no doubt he has already learned much more from you are giving him credit for. Ok, so he is sexually active,, it is a core part of human nature, some humans wait longer to become sexually active and some don’t. There is still 17 years of teaching him about life he has.
#3 His siblings have absolutely NO NEED-REASON-OR RIGHT to know anything about their older brother’s sex life. If he chooses to talk to them that is his prerogative. It is NOT YOUR RIGHT-DUTY-PREOGATIVE to tell them !!!!!!!!!!!!!
#4 Well here you may be right, he may not be emotionally ready, but he IS BIOLOGICALLY Ready. There is NOT ONE THING you can do about that!!
Time to face facts here.
Your son is 3 months from legally being an adult, NOTHING you say-do can change that fact. You have either done a good job of teaching him in his first 17 years of life or not. I suspect he is much more than you give him credit for. At this stage in both your lives your ability to force your will on him regardless of his wishes is about over. He will make his own decisions, judgments, etc. in life. He may ask your advice (or not) but your ability to “order him” is over.
There are many things you should be thankful for, and you’re completely missing them.
#1 He is TRUTHFUL !! He could have very easily lied to you !!
#2 He is SMART !! He could have been having unprotected sex. But he did a very adult thing by getting and using condoms. He is physically protecting both himself and his G/F.
#3 He does Trust YOU! He could have very easily NOT told you everything, nothing at all, or made up some story about the condoms!!
#4 He does have a good VALUE system. Regardless if You think so or not. Again, he could have not used condoms, not caring if he got his G/F pregnant or not.
Your value system in life is yours. That doesn’t mean your children should or will have the same value system in life. They will think differently than you on many subjects or the same as you. Either way, when they reach adulthood learn to respect their thinking and judgments in life.
You can either accept your son’s thinking-decisions-judgments, continue to be his mother, offering advice when asked, trusting you did teach him the important issues in life in his first 17 years of life. Or, you can continue in this vane,, and ruin everything between you and your son. This goes for your other children as they mature also.
Most people would be thrilled if their 17/18-year-old children shared things like having sex with them. Many many Parents’ have absolutely no idea of what their 17/18-year old kids are doing, whether it is about sex, or any other activities they engage in.
The choice is yours, You can accept and support (doesn’t mean agree) with your Son’s choices, decision, etc.. or you can continue on as you are,,,,, And completely destroy what you and he has worked on for the last 17 years.I recently found out that my teenage son is sexually active and I'm very upset. Any advice.?
To preface this, I will mention that I am 22 years old and not a parent, but I will approach this as I would have liked my parents to approach this situation if it had happened to me.
Though you are obviously a caring mother, you must realize your son is now a young adult who can make his own life choices. You tried your best to teach him your beliefs, but obviously he doesn't agree, and he's entitled to his own beliefs and opinions.
I would suggest being open with him. Reassure him that you love him, and though you do not agree with his choice to have sex before marriage, tell him that you would still be willing to talk to him about anything he may have questions about - sex, love, relationships, etc. You must establish open communication lines between the two of you, it will only strengthen your relationship if he feels like he can share with you and talk to you about his personal life. Though he is young, he seems to be more mature than you're giving him credit for. He's obviously smart, using condoms. Encourage him to talk with his girlfriend about getting on birth control. My boyfriend's mother told me she would be willing to bring me to her own doctor to get on birth control when she found out we were having sex (my mother is quite traditional also).
As for your daughters, do the same. Satisfy their curious minds, but reaffirm that sex is meant for a loving, stable relationship. At 15 and 13, they are most already experiencing sexual pressure. Kids are experimenting younger and younger these days and the only way to prevent it is to be open with them so they don't go looking for answers from friends and peers, which is normally quite inaccurate.
I hope this helps.
My son is 17 and has been having sex with his girl for a year -- they have been dating for 2 and 1/2 years. I talked to him about babies, told him I wasn't ready to be a grandmother, we talked about how it could ruin both of their lives ...etc. I also told him that if he was embarrassed to buy condoms I would do it for him. Well they are using condoms and she is also on the pill I found out. I just don't know what to say. It sounds flip to say ';well gee, it's what they do now-a-days.'; And unfortunately it is. Like you we were very opened with out sons about sex, the dangers of STD's, and pregnancy, and AIDS. That's all we can do and just hope for the best, and that they make the right choices. All you can do at this point is love him and hope all goes well. They grow up too quickly now and I don't think there's anything we can do about it.
okay, im not a parent.. i a tee of the age of 16...17 in February next year...
the way i see it as, if they didn't feel ready to have sex then they wouldn't have. It sounds as if yu son has had a very good upbringing and wouldn't be type to force the girl into anythng so it was obviously a neutral decision. personally im keeping my virginty as long s possible cos iknow people who've hd sex nd it isn't even that good!!!... as for the woe pregnancy pat of the situation.. yah that woue terrible and m sure they're being very very careful.. im suretey're both terrified of tha happening too!!!
I am also a mother of a 17 year old son who will be 18 in January.
My son is sexually active and has been for a while now.
This is not what you want to hear, but I'm going to tell you anyway, and know that I mean only the best for you when I tell you this and that I'm speaking from experience:
1. Be thankful you found condoms. This shows he is acting responsibly.
2. Your ';old fashioned'; ideas that ';sex should be saved for marriage'; are YOUR beliefs, not necessarily those of your son.
3. Just because a person has sex does not necessarily mean that they will choose to be with their partner forever.
4. Just because a person has sex does not necessarily mean a baby will result.
5. Your children are individuals. What happens with your son is not necessarily what will happen with your daughters. Your son's decisions will not necessarily influence your daughters. Who says they have to know anyway?
Now...
You have done your part to teach him what he needs to know to live a successful life.
This is not a reflection on you or your parenting skills or your family lifestyle.
Once you guide your children you have to know when to step back and let them begin to make their own choices. Some of those choices will be good ones, some not so good. But you have to let your son begin to make his own decisions. He is nearly an adult and you have to begin to treat him as such. He deserves that type of respect and trust from you.
It's natural for teens to be curious. He is exploring. Let him be. But let him know you are still there for him if he needs you.
I also have a son who is 17 and funnily enough turning 18 in Nov. I understand the worries and concerns of being a mother to a teenaged boy. I agree with you when you say they aren't emotionally ready for sex at this age but unfortunately I think biologically they are ready for sex at this age. Not too long ago, people were married in their early teens and started families. But now kids are taking longer and longer to get married so it seems unrealistic that kids will stay virgins until they get married in their late 20s or even early 30s. Although I grew up catholic, I have never expected my son to wait until marriage because I think that is unrealistic nowadays. I think it is more important to ensure they are practicing safe sex and making wise decisions so as not to get pregnant or get diseases. It sounds like he told you everything so you must have a good open relationship. You need to explain to him that now that he has taken this next step and started to have sex, it is his responsibility to take care of his health and ensure that he does not get anyone pregnant. You also need to explain that his sisters are too young and influencable to be privy to his sexlife and that you expect him to keep this aspect of his life private from them. I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but you can't go back in time - he's had sex now so you might as well encourage him to make responsible decisions.
Well you knew this was coming. Today kids around 16-17 they start having sex. Not in the olden times, where people would wait till marriage. Thats just how it is today.
While I am not naive, I am very old fashioned and I have tried to teach my children that sex is something that should be saved for marriage. What scared me most is when I tried to explain this to him again, just to reiterate, he acted as if I was crazy for beleiving such things! After 17 years of trying to teach him!!
I am just so worried that he and his girlfriend are not emotionally ready for sex, let alone what would ever happen if God forbid she got pregnant. I am also concerned about what effect this information will have on my 3 younger children (all girls ages 15, 13 and 9).
Any advice from parents who have had to deal with similar situacions is welcomed.
Thanks from a very concerned and heart-broken mother...I recently found out that my teenage son is sexually active and I'm very upset. Any advice.?
Well sounds like you’ve already done all the standard tactics that had absolutely zero impact on your son. (yell, threaten, scold, panic, get vapors, interrogate,,, etc..)
#1 “While I am not naïve..” Yes you are. You expect your children to be completely obedient to each and every one of your decisions about life. That may work when they are young, but by the time they reach 16-17 they are making their own decisions, judgments, etc. in life. At what point will it be ok with you for him to make his own decisions in life,, 25-28-30 ??
#2 Stop with all the “After 17 years of trying to teach him!!” “heart-broken mother” stuff. This isn’t about you or your failure to teach him. I have no doubt he has already learned much more from you are giving him credit for. Ok, so he is sexually active,, it is a core part of human nature, some humans wait longer to become sexually active and some don’t. There is still 17 years of teaching him about life he has.
#3 His siblings have absolutely NO NEED-REASON-OR RIGHT to know anything about their older brother’s sex life. If he chooses to talk to them that is his prerogative. It is NOT YOUR RIGHT-DUTY-PREOGATIVE to tell them !!!!!!!!!!!!!
#4 Well here you may be right, he may not be emotionally ready, but he IS BIOLOGICALLY Ready. There is NOT ONE THING you can do about that!!
Time to face facts here.
Your son is 3 months from legally being an adult, NOTHING you say-do can change that fact. You have either done a good job of teaching him in his first 17 years of life or not. I suspect he is much more than you give him credit for. At this stage in both your lives your ability to force your will on him regardless of his wishes is about over. He will make his own decisions, judgments, etc. in life. He may ask your advice (or not) but your ability to “order him” is over.
There are many things you should be thankful for, and you’re completely missing them.
#1 He is TRUTHFUL !! He could have very easily lied to you !!
#2 He is SMART !! He could have been having unprotected sex. But he did a very adult thing by getting and using condoms. He is physically protecting both himself and his G/F.
#3 He does Trust YOU! He could have very easily NOT told you everything, nothing at all, or made up some story about the condoms!!
#4 He does have a good VALUE system. Regardless if You think so or not. Again, he could have not used condoms, not caring if he got his G/F pregnant or not.
Your value system in life is yours. That doesn’t mean your children should or will have the same value system in life. They will think differently than you on many subjects or the same as you. Either way, when they reach adulthood learn to respect their thinking and judgments in life.
You can either accept your son’s thinking-decisions-judgments, continue to be his mother, offering advice when asked, trusting you did teach him the important issues in life in his first 17 years of life. Or, you can continue in this vane,, and ruin everything between you and your son. This goes for your other children as they mature also.
Most people would be thrilled if their 17/18-year-old children shared things like having sex with them. Many many Parents’ have absolutely no idea of what their 17/18-year old kids are doing, whether it is about sex, or any other activities they engage in.
The choice is yours, You can accept and support (doesn’t mean agree) with your Son’s choices, decision, etc.. or you can continue on as you are,,,,, And completely destroy what you and he has worked on for the last 17 years.I recently found out that my teenage son is sexually active and I'm very upset. Any advice.?
To preface this, I will mention that I am 22 years old and not a parent, but I will approach this as I would have liked my parents to approach this situation if it had happened to me.
Though you are obviously a caring mother, you must realize your son is now a young adult who can make his own life choices. You tried your best to teach him your beliefs, but obviously he doesn't agree, and he's entitled to his own beliefs and opinions.
I would suggest being open with him. Reassure him that you love him, and though you do not agree with his choice to have sex before marriage, tell him that you would still be willing to talk to him about anything he may have questions about - sex, love, relationships, etc. You must establish open communication lines between the two of you, it will only strengthen your relationship if he feels like he can share with you and talk to you about his personal life. Though he is young, he seems to be more mature than you're giving him credit for. He's obviously smart, using condoms. Encourage him to talk with his girlfriend about getting on birth control. My boyfriend's mother told me she would be willing to bring me to her own doctor to get on birth control when she found out we were having sex (my mother is quite traditional also).
As for your daughters, do the same. Satisfy their curious minds, but reaffirm that sex is meant for a loving, stable relationship. At 15 and 13, they are most already experiencing sexual pressure. Kids are experimenting younger and younger these days and the only way to prevent it is to be open with them so they don't go looking for answers from friends and peers, which is normally quite inaccurate.
I hope this helps.
My son is 17 and has been having sex with his girl for a year -- they have been dating for 2 and 1/2 years. I talked to him about babies, told him I wasn't ready to be a grandmother, we talked about how it could ruin both of their lives ...etc. I also told him that if he was embarrassed to buy condoms I would do it for him. Well they are using condoms and she is also on the pill I found out. I just don't know what to say. It sounds flip to say ';well gee, it's what they do now-a-days.'; And unfortunately it is. Like you we were very opened with out sons about sex, the dangers of STD's, and pregnancy, and AIDS. That's all we can do and just hope for the best, and that they make the right choices. All you can do at this point is love him and hope all goes well. They grow up too quickly now and I don't think there's anything we can do about it.
okay, im not a parent.. i a tee of the age of 16...17 in February next year...
the way i see it as, if they didn't feel ready to have sex then they wouldn't have. It sounds as if yu son has had a very good upbringing and wouldn't be type to force the girl into anythng so it was obviously a neutral decision. personally im keeping my virginty as long s possible cos iknow people who've hd sex nd it isn't even that good!!!... as for the woe pregnancy pat of the situation.. yah that woue terrible and m sure they're being very very careful.. im suretey're both terrified of tha happening too!!!
I am also a mother of a 17 year old son who will be 18 in January.
My son is sexually active and has been for a while now.
This is not what you want to hear, but I'm going to tell you anyway, and know that I mean only the best for you when I tell you this and that I'm speaking from experience:
1. Be thankful you found condoms. This shows he is acting responsibly.
2. Your ';old fashioned'; ideas that ';sex should be saved for marriage'; are YOUR beliefs, not necessarily those of your son.
3. Just because a person has sex does not necessarily mean that they will choose to be with their partner forever.
4. Just because a person has sex does not necessarily mean a baby will result.
5. Your children are individuals. What happens with your son is not necessarily what will happen with your daughters. Your son's decisions will not necessarily influence your daughters. Who says they have to know anyway?
Now...
You have done your part to teach him what he needs to know to live a successful life.
This is not a reflection on you or your parenting skills or your family lifestyle.
Once you guide your children you have to know when to step back and let them begin to make their own choices. Some of those choices will be good ones, some not so good. But you have to let your son begin to make his own decisions. He is nearly an adult and you have to begin to treat him as such. He deserves that type of respect and trust from you.
It's natural for teens to be curious. He is exploring. Let him be. But let him know you are still there for him if he needs you.
I also have a son who is 17 and funnily enough turning 18 in Nov. I understand the worries and concerns of being a mother to a teenaged boy. I agree with you when you say they aren't emotionally ready for sex at this age but unfortunately I think biologically they are ready for sex at this age. Not too long ago, people were married in their early teens and started families. But now kids are taking longer and longer to get married so it seems unrealistic that kids will stay virgins until they get married in their late 20s or even early 30s. Although I grew up catholic, I have never expected my son to wait until marriage because I think that is unrealistic nowadays. I think it is more important to ensure they are practicing safe sex and making wise decisions so as not to get pregnant or get diseases. It sounds like he told you everything so you must have a good open relationship. You need to explain to him that now that he has taken this next step and started to have sex, it is his responsibility to take care of his health and ensure that he does not get anyone pregnant. You also need to explain that his sisters are too young and influencable to be privy to his sexlife and that you expect him to keep this aspect of his life private from them. I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but you can't go back in time - he's had sex now so you might as well encourage him to make responsible decisions.
Well you knew this was coming. Today kids around 16-17 they start having sex. Not in the olden times, where people would wait till marriage. Thats just how it is today.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Can the teenage girls help me out i need some advice?
Hello im alex im 15 and guy and there is this girl that i really like and she likes me. She keeps having her friend telling me that she wants to get with me (phone broke) and i really want too. BUT i just got my wisdom teeth out today and i get stitches out monday (A WHOLE WEEK =[ ) now my question is if your were in this girls position would you wait a week for whoever you were gonna get with, to get with them? or would you go get with some else and forget him. its KILLING ME inside hahah. no bullsh*it answers so tell the truth please thanks.Can the teenage girls help me out i need some advice?
she'll wait if shes rly into uCan the teenage girls help me out i need some advice?
Eh..duh..if she wants you, she wants you. She's not gonna be like ''ewh i dont want you now'' just because she can't have you for 7 days
she'll wait if shes rly into uCan the teenage girls help me out i need some advice?
Eh..duh..if she wants you, she wants you. She's not gonna be like ''ewh i dont want you now'' just because she can't have you for 7 days
Ugh.... teenage life sucks like hard core i need advice?
ok so one of my friends used 2 date this guy then he broke her heart but she still likes him and shes been fighting 4 him but he just dont seem 2 like her and last nite he followed me into my room and started rubbing my brests and touching and playing with my ';cookie'; wat do i do. can i have sex with him and she still b my friend or is that tottaly wrong... i mean i really dont wont 2 treat he like that but i liked him first then she dated him so please help....Ugh.... teenage life sucks like hard core i need advice?
I can guarantee if you hook up with him it'll ruin your friendship.
He's also probably just going to use you.
But if you don't care about the friendship and are just looking to hookup with the guy go for it.
If your looking for a relationship with him or you want to keep your friends and not be called a slut do not i repeat DO NOT hook up with this kid.Ugh.... teenage life sucks like hard core i need advice?
First, you don't need to have sex. Sex causes too many problems. And second, no you shouldn't. She might be a life long friend, or one for the season, either way, in the end it isn't worth it. And he is out of order. If he would do that to her, you will be the next victim. The games are the same through highschool, college, and adulthood. It's all in how you play your hand.
i totally agree with jenbunny.. seriosuly, you shoudl consider what you want more. friends will be there, but the guy could leave right after you have sex with him. leaving you without the friend and without him.puffy eye cream
I can guarantee if you hook up with him it'll ruin your friendship.
He's also probably just going to use you.
But if you don't care about the friendship and are just looking to hookup with the guy go for it.
If your looking for a relationship with him or you want to keep your friends and not be called a slut do not i repeat DO NOT hook up with this kid.Ugh.... teenage life sucks like hard core i need advice?
First, you don't need to have sex. Sex causes too many problems. And second, no you shouldn't. She might be a life long friend, or one for the season, either way, in the end it isn't worth it. And he is out of order. If he would do that to her, you will be the next victim. The games are the same through highschool, college, and adulthood. It's all in how you play your hand.
i totally agree with jenbunny.. seriosuly, you shoudl consider what you want more. friends will be there, but the guy could leave right after you have sex with him. leaving you without the friend and without him.
I want a way I can help teenage girls and guys online. Im very good at giving the right advice. Got any sites?
This one.I want a way I can help teenage girls and guys online. Im very good at giving the right advice. Got any sites?
This is a joke right? What more perfect site is there for what you just described?
This is a joke right? What more perfect site is there for what you just described?
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