My fiance has a 17 year old daughter who he has had joint custody with since she was 2. Her mom left the marriage when she was a baby and she never knew her parents together. Well, the mom died last year of cancer. Now the teen spends most of the time at the stepdad's house with her 2 younger siblings and sometimes at my fiance's house.
I know she likes me, but is not overly warm. She is a quiet almost shy girl, but is popular. She is a teenager about to be a senior so she does not really want to be around any adults at this point.
We told her we got engaged several months ago and the response was ';that's nice'; and nothing else. We had to ask if she wanted to see the ring. She glanced away from her myspace page long enough to take a peek and that was it.
I so badly want to share with her and be closer and have her take a part in the wedding in a manner she is comfortable. It is hard to know my boundaries with her. Since her mom died it is all a bit weird.
I have not brought it up again because I do not want her to feel uncomfortable. My finace mentioned it and got no reaction.
I am not sure what to do now. I was hoping she would want to be a part and am open to having her be a bridesmaid or for her to stand on her dad's side.
What should I do?
Perhaps she wants to just attend as a guest?
My mom remarried shortly after my dad died, I was 19, and I was furious and refused to attend. I showed up at the end of the wedding, drunk with a few sorority sisters ( immature ,I know,but that was a long time ago) So I feel Ihave to tread lightly.
Any advice?Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
I think that it's lovely that you want a relationship with her. I've been a step-daughter before and I have to say in the beginning you're very hesitant because you're not sure if this person is going to think they're your mother or overstep your boundaries. Perhaps her reaction is due to not being entirely sure where she'll fit into your 'new' life. Both you and your fiance need to make it clear that you want to form a family. It doesn't have to be nuclear, but it should be functional. Including her in the wedding planning and the ceremony itself is a good way to demonstrate this, but I also liked the suggestions that you try and plan outings with her, get to know her not as your fiance's daughter but just as a friend. There's no guarantee that she'll be thrilled about your attempts, but if you can say that you at least made them, I don't think you'll have any trouble sleeping at night.Good luck.Fiance has teenage daughter who's mom died. I have wedding concerns and need advice.
You can not force a relationship on his daughter but you can make it clear to her that you will be there if ever she needs you...She will come around All you can do is love her and show her that you care..Are you including her in your wedding?
i think you should tell her that you are not trying to replace her mom. you want to be her friend. and for the ceremony have a candle with her moms name on it. get her a locket with her moms pic in it and reassure her that you understand what she is going through.
all i can say is treat her the way you would want to be treated if your mother just died be compassionate toward her shes probably feeling very alone let her know your there for her if she needs but don't smoother her good luck
You seem to have your head screwed on straight, and understand that she is 17, she lost her mother, shes a teenager probably most interested in her friends, and shes balancing between 2 households. Your approach seems good. I would straight out ask her if she wants to be in the wedding or not. She might appreciate your candor. Give her a few options (bridesmaid, *groomsmaid*, regular guest) and if she doesnt respond right away just say ';Well you can think about it!';
Later on, you can gauge her interest in the event and if she shows any interest at all, get her involved with anything.
I'm guessing her non-interest has more to do with her missing her mom than not liking you. She probably hasn't really mourned properly at that age just because kids really don't know how to handle death. While she probably likes you, she may be trying to save her moms space so no one can take that over. I would be especially kind and listen, listen, listen. I would tell her again how much you would love her to be in the wedding and tell her it is her choice and she can think it over and let you know by the end of the week if she wants to do it. That way she can never say you didn't include her. Teens are hard anyway, I have 3. But this girl is the product of divorce, death of a parent, dealing with a step parent, and now a new step parent. It's a lot forr anyone to deal with.
Take her out to lunch and shopping and tell her how you feel. Tell her that you would like to be closer to her, and you know that it is tough because her mom died. Ask her how she feels about you and her dad getting married. Tell her that you aren't looking to take her mom's place.
Tell her that you are very excited to be marrying her father, and that you would like for her to be involved. Tell her you and her dad would love for her to be a bridesmaid. Offer her a couple of things to do and ask her if she would like to choose something, or if there is anything she would be interested in doing. Tell her she doesn't have to pick right then, but you need to know in a couple of weeks so you can start planning.
If she is quiet anyway, it's going to be tough. My niece is so quiet, I can barely get three words out of her. Just be patient and keep talking to her, but without harassing her about it.
Well, if she won't go out with you, make a girls' day breakfast. Pancakes or something she likes. Then sit down and have a talk with her. Some weekend morning (or afternoon as some teenagers get up) should work.
Hi. You are very observant and knowledgeable (from your own experience), so treading lightly is called for.
Perhaps you can invite her out to lunch. Try to feel her out. Tell her ';Missy, I am sure you really miss your mom. There is NO ONE who can take her place. Please know that I am not trying to take her place. I was wondering how you feel about your dad and I getting married and if you would want to participate in the wedding. I would love to have you as a bridesmaid....or stand next to your dad....whatever you feel comfortable with. So, let me know how you would feel about being a part of our wedding.';
I am sure she is missing her mom. I feel bad for her. She is at a very rough age. I am sure she is happy for you and not resentful...it's more that she misses her mom. Perhaps your fiance can speak with her also. This is a time when she will need both of you (even if she doesn't realize it now.)
You are very kind to seek advice before doing anything. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you and her.
I hope your wedding is a beautiful day!
She lost her mom last year and now she probably feels she's losing her dad................to you. You need to sit down and have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel about everything. Her dad, her mom dying, the wedding, her and life as her new step mom. It is the uncertainty that is probably troubling her most. Be sure she understands that you are not trying to take her moms place
Give her a few years to come around, she's 17 and probably wasn't that into the details about her own mother's life!
Ask her if she would like to be a bridemaid or would she prefer to be a guest at the wedding? Even if she is interested in being a bridesmaid, if she is shy, she would not want to risk rejection %26amp;/or doesn't want you to feel obligated to say yes.
Don't tread softly, just normally. She probably feels your trepidation but doesn't know you well enough yet to understand where you/it is coming from.
You need to keep pushing for a lunch together.
Teenagers are emotional and bitchy, she sounds like the type who is involved in her ';teenage'; life. Which is totally normal. It is hard to lose a parent, I am 21 and my mum died a few months ago suddenly. She is still going through A LOT.
You need to talk to her about how much she wants to be involved. TELL HER that you WANT her involved. Be open and honest.
Well, as you know its a hard road when you lose a parent while you are young..and her circumstances are different in the aspect of her mother and father never being together. My guess is that she is feeling as though she doesnt know if she is here or there with living with the step dad.
My mum died when i was 13, dad remarried about 3 years later and I hated the thought of it. It was dad who talked to me in the end when i was reblling against the step mother. His words to me were '; I loved your mum and will always love your mum, I miss your mum so much even though Ive met colleen and found companionship again...all i ask of you is that you be happy for me and accept *** (stepmum) as part of my life.';
When i realised I was affecting my dads happiness i saw it all in a new light and although i was never ';close'; with her we were still friends which made life a lot easier.
Maybe the issue here is the relationship between father and daughter, and she could see you as another ';interference'; sorry i know that sounds harsh but its a reality...
Maybe you could talk to your fiance about it and see if he can get her to open up ??
Maybe have an all girl day and go shopping with her....while shopping casually bring up the subject and ask her what her thoughts are...let her know that you care about her and would love for her to be a part of all that is going on...then ask her again how she might feel about this...go from there. Even if you just leave things open for her to respond, at least you are trying and still letting her know that she is important (even if she may not want to be). Maybe she would love to help pick out her dress for the occasion...maybe by just 'shopping' together and spending some time together she may warm up to the idea...But I agree that you wouldn't want to come off as overbearing, pushy, or even demanding....I feel that you may just have to go slow and just 'feel' your way through this with her....
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
to participate in a youth boxing league?
I've not asked them yet. If they say no when I do, I will not push the issue. The girl is 15, and she really wants to do this. She's not as much worried about her parents being opposed to the boxing part of it (though that is a concern) as she is about how they will react to her having to wear shorts or sweat pants. She's asked me to speak to them for her. I've agreed, but warned her that I will not argue with her parents' decision. I've got only one shot at this. I'd like to go into the conversation with some idea of what to say to convince them. Any ideas would be appreciated, as I'd love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. Thanks.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
There should be a way to compromise. She is not the only young lady who has experienced this problem, and many others have come up with solutions.
There is an entire fashion industry devoted to supplying modest athletic wear for orthodox women. A pair of loose culottes would be modest but still allow her the range of movement she needs to box. Check out the link below for examples.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
Still it's a butt out matter. A girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Tell the parents that the girl really wants to do boxing. That's it basically, and that as parents, you feel they should support their daughter's commitment to the sport. If they are opposed to the clothes she is going to wear, you really can't do anything against that, since most strict Christian parents are immovable.
I would ask if they have the money for dr. lawyers and ear specialists. plastic surgey and male sex change the last one is a joke...
parents have o look at it all when the girl is 18 and could pay for all the afore mentioned then she could destroy her temple. as long as it is my dime no way... if her concern is shorts I think she is not thinking clearly...
If she's 15, she'd be better served to do it herself. If you can't stand up to your parents at 15, when can you?
If you have to, bring up the self-defense aspect, and camaraderie.
I'm sure that a compromise can be reached and I hope that the parents wouldn't be so narrow minded, they can protect and care about their daughter without hindering her in an unnecessary way.
show them pictures of wrestling singlets. maybe they might think shorts aren't that bad.
here are some good ones
http://www.singlets.com/
Just frame it as an opportunity to box for god.
whats wrong with sports... go up to her parents and ask them if thier daugter can join the Mike Tyson boxing club.
Boxing causes brain damage.
Don't. Getting punched in the nose is a bad idea. Been there, done that, it's overrated.
She needs to be a warrior for Jesus if she wants to fight. There are plenty of devils to fight. Everything that young girls want to do is not necessarily good for them. Who pays the doctor bills if she gets hurt and has to go to the hospital? Who takes care of her if she gets hurt. These are things to consider. You're asking her parents to take on the medical bills, etc. She doesn't need to make a spectacle of herself in a boxing ring. As to approaching her parents, ask them to pray about their daughter participating in a youth boxing league. Be respectful. Approach them and say, ';could you please pray about allowing (girl's name) to participate in a youth boxing league.'; Then tell them details about the league. Where it is, who is participating, what the girls will wear, etc.
I took my sons to a Christian Karate club when they were young. It was mostly Christian. It was a good wittness format also.
Perhaps ask them to pray about it, and not give an answer right away. That would put them on the spot and would likley say no. But with prayer, they will get a chance to hear from the daughter in a private way. I wish you Gods Grace as sports does so much for esteem and health.
Most important thing you can do is support her in what may be her anguish over being compelled to comply with her parent's wishes she not box.
Let's face it, it's not just christian parents, or strict christian parents who might object to their daughter participating in a boxing league.
You sound like you'll be just fine- don't subborn a root of bitterness in this girl please.
I'd stress the positives that this experience would give her. She'd definitely keep fit, which is a huge plus--and it will channel a lot of that negative teen energy.
I don't know much about boxing, but I DO know about martial arts. Martial arts really give kids a discipline that is wonderful, imposed both externally and internally. They learn to accept someone else's authority, to give respect, etc. My son had been in karate for about 2 months when I asked him to take out the trash. He answered, ';Yes, ma'am,'; and then we both stopped, reeled a little, looked at each other and said together, ';WHOA.'; Because he called me Ma'am. THAT was a first, and it came directly from karate.
I ended up taking karate, too, and can't say enough about it. Ironically enough--especially since I'm answering this post!--I no longer take martial arts....for religious reasons. Because of my particular brand of a particular religion, I don't wear pants, and I don't touch men. Both of these are issues in a sport like boxing or martial arts. Still, I'm trying to figure out a way to work around these prohibitions, because I found the whole experience to be so good for both me %26amp; my kids.
So--I think you're right to accept their decision, no matter what. But you should stress the positives--the physical fitness, the channeling of energy in a POSITIVE way, and above all, the incredible discipline.
Well, I have no idea, but My son is into boxing, he has already preached his first sermon in church, and he has taught his 15 year old sister some boxing lessons, I put up a punching bag for them to hit, and taught them some stuff, the best I could tell you is suggest that it's good to know self defense, and make sure that you and your friend mention that they won't use it to bully anybody, and will only use it in emergency self defense.
I can't see what's wrong with wearing shorts or sweat pants. Unless they belong to a weird branch of Christianity where it's skirts only for women and even swimsuits are out of the question (I can't imagine why sweat pants should be objectionable).
I would first find out what particular denomination the parents subscribe too, they don't sound like a mainstream christian ones. That will give you a better idea what arguments they might find acceptable.
PS. OK, if they have no problems with shorts or baggy pants and the daughter thinks they mainly will have problems with clothing not the sport as such, I would not anticipate too much problems. Also the daughter must have been exposed to the sport in order to be enthusiastic about it, so they can't have been too strict about it. Maybe it will have to do more with the time commitment required and her grades in school. With all the childhood/youth obesity press, that may be an angle to pursue, also self defense for girls might be of value.
I would not do this. It is one thing for parents to keep too close a hand on an 19- or 21-year-old, but a girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Some branches of evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity, such as many Independent Baptists, do insist on modest but attractive and feminine dresses for girls. Sweat pants, while not immodest in the same sense, are often viewed as non-feminine. I would think they would view boxing in the same non-feminine light.
A 15-year-old does not always make the best decisions for herself. Wise parents do not expect to place the same restrictions on a 15-year-old as they would on a 12-year-old, but still we have to assume, and encourage the teen to respect, that her parents know better than she does what's best for her.
You say ';you'; would love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. But ';you'; are not her parents. My daughter would enjoy very much to not take piano lessons and spend her afternoons watching TV.
Which is better for her in the long run 鈥?her teenage view or her parents' older and wiser view? We require piano just as much as we require math.
If they are abusing her, you have the duty to call social services. If not, you have the duty to stay out of what is strictly a family matter.
If you truly want her to stand up and ';be her own woman'; then you would encourage her to approach her parents herself. If you are just asserting peer pressure on her, you are her problem, not her solution.puffy eye cream
I've not asked them yet. If they say no when I do, I will not push the issue. The girl is 15, and she really wants to do this. She's not as much worried about her parents being opposed to the boxing part of it (though that is a concern) as she is about how they will react to her having to wear shorts or sweat pants. She's asked me to speak to them for her. I've agreed, but warned her that I will not argue with her parents' decision. I've got only one shot at this. I'd like to go into the conversation with some idea of what to say to convince them. Any ideas would be appreciated, as I'd love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. Thanks.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
There should be a way to compromise. She is not the only young lady who has experienced this problem, and many others have come up with solutions.
There is an entire fashion industry devoted to supplying modest athletic wear for orthodox women. A pair of loose culottes would be modest but still allow her the range of movement she needs to box. Check out the link below for examples.Need some advice. How would you approach the strict Christian parents of a teenage girl about allowing her?
Still it's a butt out matter. A girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
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Tell the parents that the girl really wants to do boxing. That's it basically, and that as parents, you feel they should support their daughter's commitment to the sport. If they are opposed to the clothes she is going to wear, you really can't do anything against that, since most strict Christian parents are immovable.
I would ask if they have the money for dr. lawyers and ear specialists. plastic surgey and male sex change the last one is a joke...
parents have o look at it all when the girl is 18 and could pay for all the afore mentioned then she could destroy her temple. as long as it is my dime no way... if her concern is shorts I think she is not thinking clearly...
If she's 15, she'd be better served to do it herself. If you can't stand up to your parents at 15, when can you?
If you have to, bring up the self-defense aspect, and camaraderie.
I'm sure that a compromise can be reached and I hope that the parents wouldn't be so narrow minded, they can protect and care about their daughter without hindering her in an unnecessary way.
show them pictures of wrestling singlets. maybe they might think shorts aren't that bad.
here are some good ones
http://www.singlets.com/
Just frame it as an opportunity to box for god.
whats wrong with sports... go up to her parents and ask them if thier daugter can join the Mike Tyson boxing club.
Boxing causes brain damage.
Don't. Getting punched in the nose is a bad idea. Been there, done that, it's overrated.
She needs to be a warrior for Jesus if she wants to fight. There are plenty of devils to fight. Everything that young girls want to do is not necessarily good for them. Who pays the doctor bills if she gets hurt and has to go to the hospital? Who takes care of her if she gets hurt. These are things to consider. You're asking her parents to take on the medical bills, etc. She doesn't need to make a spectacle of herself in a boxing ring. As to approaching her parents, ask them to pray about their daughter participating in a youth boxing league. Be respectful. Approach them and say, ';could you please pray about allowing (girl's name) to participate in a youth boxing league.'; Then tell them details about the league. Where it is, who is participating, what the girls will wear, etc.
I took my sons to a Christian Karate club when they were young. It was mostly Christian. It was a good wittness format also.
Perhaps ask them to pray about it, and not give an answer right away. That would put them on the spot and would likley say no. But with prayer, they will get a chance to hear from the daughter in a private way. I wish you Gods Grace as sports does so much for esteem and health.
Most important thing you can do is support her in what may be her anguish over being compelled to comply with her parent's wishes she not box.
Let's face it, it's not just christian parents, or strict christian parents who might object to their daughter participating in a boxing league.
You sound like you'll be just fine- don't subborn a root of bitterness in this girl please.
I'd stress the positives that this experience would give her. She'd definitely keep fit, which is a huge plus--and it will channel a lot of that negative teen energy.
I don't know much about boxing, but I DO know about martial arts. Martial arts really give kids a discipline that is wonderful, imposed both externally and internally. They learn to accept someone else's authority, to give respect, etc. My son had been in karate for about 2 months when I asked him to take out the trash. He answered, ';Yes, ma'am,'; and then we both stopped, reeled a little, looked at each other and said together, ';WHOA.'; Because he called me Ma'am. THAT was a first, and it came directly from karate.
I ended up taking karate, too, and can't say enough about it. Ironically enough--especially since I'm answering this post!--I no longer take martial arts....for religious reasons. Because of my particular brand of a particular religion, I don't wear pants, and I don't touch men. Both of these are issues in a sport like boxing or martial arts. Still, I'm trying to figure out a way to work around these prohibitions, because I found the whole experience to be so good for both me %26amp; my kids.
So--I think you're right to accept their decision, no matter what. But you should stress the positives--the physical fitness, the channeling of energy in a POSITIVE way, and above all, the incredible discipline.
Well, I have no idea, but My son is into boxing, he has already preached his first sermon in church, and he has taught his 15 year old sister some boxing lessons, I put up a punching bag for them to hit, and taught them some stuff, the best I could tell you is suggest that it's good to know self defense, and make sure that you and your friend mention that they won't use it to bully anybody, and will only use it in emergency self defense.
I can't see what's wrong with wearing shorts or sweat pants. Unless they belong to a weird branch of Christianity where it's skirts only for women and even swimsuits are out of the question (I can't imagine why sweat pants should be objectionable).
I would first find out what particular denomination the parents subscribe too, they don't sound like a mainstream christian ones. That will give you a better idea what arguments they might find acceptable.
PS. OK, if they have no problems with shorts or baggy pants and the daughter thinks they mainly will have problems with clothing not the sport as such, I would not anticipate too much problems. Also the daughter must have been exposed to the sport in order to be enthusiastic about it, so they can't have been too strict about it. Maybe it will have to do more with the time commitment required and her grades in school. With all the childhood/youth obesity press, that may be an angle to pursue, also self defense for girls might be of value.
I would not do this. It is one thing for parents to keep too close a hand on an 19- or 21-year-old, but a girl, at 15, is still under the close care of her family. They are entirely responsible for her unbringing and her well-being.
Some branches of evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity, such as many Independent Baptists, do insist on modest but attractive and feminine dresses for girls. Sweat pants, while not immodest in the same sense, are often viewed as non-feminine. I would think they would view boxing in the same non-feminine light.
A 15-year-old does not always make the best decisions for herself. Wise parents do not expect to place the same restrictions on a 15-year-old as they would on a 12-year-old, but still we have to assume, and encourage the teen to respect, that her parents know better than she does what's best for her.
You say ';you'; would love to see this girl do something she obviously enjoys very much. But ';you'; are not her parents. My daughter would enjoy very much to not take piano lessons and spend her afternoons watching TV.
Which is better for her in the long run 鈥?her teenage view or her parents' older and wiser view? We require piano just as much as we require math.
If they are abusing her, you have the duty to call social services. If not, you have the duty to stay out of what is strictly a family matter.
If you truly want her to stand up and ';be her own woman'; then you would encourage her to approach her parents herself. If you are just asserting peer pressure on her, you are her problem, not her solution.
I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
My daughter is 17, and my step-daughter is 16 (my wife and I have full custody of them both, they live with us full time). They are both the wild type and we have been having many problems lately with both of them skipping school, cursing out the teachers, getting detentions/suspended, getting in fights at school (both are in the 11th grade), staying out way past curfew, drinking, smoking, sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing money and our cars, partying, harrasing their younger siblings, constant bad attitudes, and we think the younger is having sex (she won't admit it though). We have tried everything, strong restrictions, grounding, yelling, and nothing has worked. So, when they came home last Friday at 2 in the morning, i told them 1 more thing, whether it be a missed curfew, a detention, or swearing at their sister. 1 more thing, and they were spending their whole entire summer at my older brothers ranch in Oklahoma. i'm having second thoughts now. too harsh? advice?I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
Not too harsh they should learn that they will get consequences for bad behavior I am 18.. and have done nothing at all to upset my mom or dad except once when I went to a friends house without asking you have to be more strict they are doing these things to test you see what you will do.. this means that they think you're weak and your idea of strict is really just like partying with an old grandpa.. come up with unique ways to teach them a lesson and to get them both out of trouble ... the thing I said about the grandpa thing don't take it to offense just think about what I am trying to say..I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
Is your brother likely to be able to reign in their bad behavior? If so, fantastic - because you don't have much time to fix this problem. If not then you are just pushing off your problem onto someone else. The only other problem is that summer is 4 months away. That's alot of time to get into trouble. How about sending them there to work over spring break? Maybe give them a taste of what summer would be like.
Also, would it be better to split them up? maybe they are feeding off of each other?
Another thought is that you need to quit threatening and start doing. If they come home late, then they can't go out. If they sneak out then you sleep infront of their door. If they smoke then they have to run (that will show them how bad their lung capacity is) or work in the hospital with the lung cancer patients. If they are drinking, turn them in to the police. If they are stealing money and cars - let them spend a night in jail. Seriously - this is not petty stuff. This is serious. They need counceling, firm parenting and a LOT of prayer.
You could always do what my uncle did for his stepson (raised him from age 5) - he made him go ';Amish'; : no electricity, no phone, no car, no tv, basically nothing. And then he put him to work - hard work. It worked for him - he went into the military and turned his life around.
Good luck, sounds like you have your hands full.
That sounds like a great idea!
i dont know about it being too harsh but i do know its not your brothers responsibility to deal with your/their problems and you cant just send your daughters off somewhere because you cant get them to listen to you...
I don't think this is too harsh you are doing what you have to do to keep you daughts safe. They may not see it that way now but they will. I grew up giving my parents a hell of a time too and they put me to work at the family buisness. I was so tired sometime that sleeping was all i wanted to do instead of going out. One time I did go out and drank and it was horrible but my parents pulled me out of bed at 7am to go to work they told me the world dont stop for my hangovers and they don't feel sorry for me if i want to drink like an adult they will treat me like one (i was 16). Before they made me start working i had it made i slept in, mom did my laundry, she cooked, cleaned, I never had to do anything, maybe i had to much time on my hands. I thank my parents all the time for teaching me responsibilty,respect and good work ethics. I could see myself in the situations that some of those people i use to hang out.... with no education, dead end jobs or on welfare.if my parents didn't intervine i would possible be in that situation.
so yes give them something to do to fill their time up ,,,yes they still need time for fun but there is a time for that.Teenagers think they know all and can do it all and they think that nothing will happen to them.
Well Dad hand them a little taste of the real world . So NO No don't back down if they break a rule do what u said u would stick to it if you don't they will see that you just try and scare them with empty threats and that you would never really do anything about their behaviour. Good Luck to you%26amp;your wife, u can do it.
They will realize soon that you have their best interest at heart you love them and want to protect them from the harmful and dangerous desions they have been making. Let them know you love them say it and say i love you too them all the time and they need and want hugs %26amp;kiss too. they need to be assured that their family is there for them.Spend more time with them doing family things. Maybe they are screaming for your attention i know i was screaming by acting up all the time. i wanted to be seen and heard even if it was in a negative way. My parents heard me and did something about it.And We have a great realtionship now.
no wasnt to harsh. why u waiting til summer? i have a 17yr old and i thank god daily that shes a good kid. i see her peers and know what kind of crap they get into. u need to set rules and stick by them. curfew here is 11 and my daughter knows she isnt home then and i get no phone call im calling the cops. maybe u need to send urs to visit a jail house or a morgue. sounds tough but its called tough love for a reason. they want to smoke then visit a nursing home let them meet an elder dying from smoking. they having sex take them to the health department and get them on the pill and condoms. theres tons of things u can do to show them this is what will happen if u stay on the road ur on.... its up to the parents to show the children the right way. we have to do everything in our power to teach them so they live out in the world without us when they are adults. its our job to teach and shw examples sounds like urs need some examples thrown at their faces QUICK...good luck
I think this is definitely a Perfect Idea make sure you stick to your guns though if you don't they will know they can get away this stuff all the time and you will do nothing so I say it's a great idea!
that's not harsh at all , but do you really wanna put your brother through all that??? threaten to homeschool them or send them to a border school...all girls, uniforms, and no freedom. worked on my wild and crazy sister!!! lol. good luck
I'm 23 and I say do it they have put you through alot! However it may backfire on you they may find more trouble out their. Being a newly reformed teen w a bad attitude I would put them in therapy bc of the divorce. My sis and I had lots of trouble bc of my rents split she had therapy and has done a 360. I'm pregnat w my first so I neede to change for more obvious reasons. Oh ya and my sis is 17 they're going through alot plus the stuff bc of moving and maybe feeling abandoned? Now you cant force conversation but keep them going and they should break down and talk. Also if they are really bad you can get dys involved and then all will be court mandated. Now this isn't as bad as it sounds. My sis got caught smoking at school and then cops got involved she now doesn't see her social worker she had a choice to stop bc her grades were good and her drug tests were clear. So she became responsible and they allowed her at 17 to stop seeing her worker. She is now involved in youth group and going to help New Orleans to help Habitat for Hummanity! Don't worry how harsh the punishment you need to save these childre who will soon be on their own and then they will get into big trouble in the real world. Also you don't want it rubbing off of your younger kids bc the older ones dont get in trouble! Hope this helps if you want email me!!
it sounds like you are doing all you can to help them. Counseling can only go so far particularly if they are being resistive. You certainly are not being a bad parent by placing restrictions on them and letting them know what their consequences will be if they choose to continue to make bad choices. First and foremost I think you need to follow through no matter what. You can use the time they are away to recharge yourself and they can learn something valuable by working. I would also do what I could now. alarm your doors and windows so you stop the sneaking out. No friends, time away from home, etc until theirs an improvement in behavior and grades. It's sad that it has to come to this but it's their choice to act the way they are doing. You as a parent have a responsibility to them to show them their are consequences for making bad choices. It's a tough road to be on but I think at this point you have no other choice but to show tough love. Keep your chin up, you're doing what is right for them. That makes you a good parent.
Sir you are not being harsh at all. At 16 and 17 they should not be doing haif the stuff they are doing. the only thing is that you have given them to many warnings. you see when you keep warning them and warning them all you are doing to them is like giving them a pat on the hand and saying bad girl thats naughty. you have to show them whoose boss. now you don't have to be harsh with them but you have to give them a firm hand. you need to show your girls what can happen to them if they keep trowing thier life away with this drinking and smoking a crap. Sir you need to take action before it is to late.
Take a pipe to they're heads, beat some sense into them
Hi..I have been working with ';youth at risk'; for about 15 years. Sounds like times are very tough for you and your girls. Have they been to therapy? Perhaps there are other things going on in their lives that they are not sharing. Another one of my ideas is...do you have a juvenile detention center in your area? Let them take a tour..see how their actions could possibly affect their lives. Im a firm believer in natural logical consequences....take away their ';fun stuff'; (iPODS, computers etc..) Give them heavy labor to do.
Or heck...send them to your brother if you think he could help them realize what they are doing. Oklahoma? Thats punishment alone!! (im kidding) Does he farm? They could work on his ranch? Just some suggestions...
Sorry, but not harsh enough. They need a lot more rules...starting with being respectful. Try talking openly with both of them. let them know how much you love them and that you want them to have a happy full life, but that they need to learn how to respect themselves, you %26amp; your wife, and well - everybody!! you can't help them grow into responsible adults the way they are headed. make some boundries - together. then you %26amp; your wife need to stick to it.
Your girls are almost grown, and will be moving on to college soon. they need to learn how to take care of themselves and how to deal with adults, teachers, bosses in a way that will benefit them, not make life harder.
The ranch sounds like a fun trip for al 4 of you to do together. We have a small piece of land we take our kids to for the weekend (every couple of months or so) and it really helps bring us together as a family, and enjoy the time together. I think we all let our gaurd down a little when we are away..and it really helps our relationship when we get back home.
Good luck!!! :)
Not harsh at all, Try looking into a place called the Youth Challenge. Whatever state you are in just type your state and youth challenge. It is a free military type school. Hard core boot camp. I sent two of my daughters there and it worked wonders. Good luck
Edit:
I see where you are coming from and I think you are being 100% fair to them. This is for there own good, and they WILL see this later on. Working on a ranch could bring out the best in them. You are not spending them away because you ';can't handle it'; you are doing so as a sort of self-therapy.
Follow through with your choice!
Original:
I had a ';wild'; side as a teenager and my parents threatened to send me to there friends ranch in the middle of no where, it worked a little, but strong parenting skills, listening to them and realizing this is all a cry for attention is a big key.
My mom screwed my windows shut so I couldn't sneak out, would sleep in front of the doors, home schooled me.
I bless her for all her hard work now. My parents are the reason I just celebrated my 21st birthday. There strict presistant parenting kept me a live.
Also consider family and individual therapy for them. It sounds like ther are deeper issues here.
thats not to harsh i was the same way. i'm 21 now i have change bcause my mom got sick of me and called the cops and let me spend 3 nights in jail! lol it worked
Not too harsh they should learn that they will get consequences for bad behavior I am 18.. and have done nothing at all to upset my mom or dad except once when I went to a friends house without asking you have to be more strict they are doing these things to test you see what you will do.. this means that they think you're weak and your idea of strict is really just like partying with an old grandpa.. come up with unique ways to teach them a lesson and to get them both out of trouble ... the thing I said about the grandpa thing don't take it to offense just think about what I am trying to say..I see this website has a parent-help/advice section, so I need help with my 2 teenage daughters. too harsh?
Is your brother likely to be able to reign in their bad behavior? If so, fantastic - because you don't have much time to fix this problem. If not then you are just pushing off your problem onto someone else. The only other problem is that summer is 4 months away. That's alot of time to get into trouble. How about sending them there to work over spring break? Maybe give them a taste of what summer would be like.
Also, would it be better to split them up? maybe they are feeding off of each other?
Another thought is that you need to quit threatening and start doing. If they come home late, then they can't go out. If they sneak out then you sleep infront of their door. If they smoke then they have to run (that will show them how bad their lung capacity is) or work in the hospital with the lung cancer patients. If they are drinking, turn them in to the police. If they are stealing money and cars - let them spend a night in jail. Seriously - this is not petty stuff. This is serious. They need counceling, firm parenting and a LOT of prayer.
You could always do what my uncle did for his stepson (raised him from age 5) - he made him go ';Amish'; : no electricity, no phone, no car, no tv, basically nothing. And then he put him to work - hard work. It worked for him - he went into the military and turned his life around.
Good luck, sounds like you have your hands full.
That sounds like a great idea!
i dont know about it being too harsh but i do know its not your brothers responsibility to deal with your/their problems and you cant just send your daughters off somewhere because you cant get them to listen to you...
I don't think this is too harsh you are doing what you have to do to keep you daughts safe. They may not see it that way now but they will. I grew up giving my parents a hell of a time too and they put me to work at the family buisness. I was so tired sometime that sleeping was all i wanted to do instead of going out. One time I did go out and drank and it was horrible but my parents pulled me out of bed at 7am to go to work they told me the world dont stop for my hangovers and they don't feel sorry for me if i want to drink like an adult they will treat me like one (i was 16). Before they made me start working i had it made i slept in, mom did my laundry, she cooked, cleaned, I never had to do anything, maybe i had to much time on my hands. I thank my parents all the time for teaching me responsibilty,respect and good work ethics. I could see myself in the situations that some of those people i use to hang out.... with no education, dead end jobs or on welfare.if my parents didn't intervine i would possible be in that situation.
so yes give them something to do to fill their time up ,,,yes they still need time for fun but there is a time for that.Teenagers think they know all and can do it all and they think that nothing will happen to them.
Well Dad hand them a little taste of the real world . So NO No don't back down if they break a rule do what u said u would stick to it if you don't they will see that you just try and scare them with empty threats and that you would never really do anything about their behaviour. Good Luck to you%26amp;your wife, u can do it.
They will realize soon that you have their best interest at heart you love them and want to protect them from the harmful and dangerous desions they have been making. Let them know you love them say it and say i love you too them all the time and they need and want hugs %26amp;kiss too. they need to be assured that their family is there for them.Spend more time with them doing family things. Maybe they are screaming for your attention i know i was screaming by acting up all the time. i wanted to be seen and heard even if it was in a negative way. My parents heard me and did something about it.And We have a great realtionship now.
no wasnt to harsh. why u waiting til summer? i have a 17yr old and i thank god daily that shes a good kid. i see her peers and know what kind of crap they get into. u need to set rules and stick by them. curfew here is 11 and my daughter knows she isnt home then and i get no phone call im calling the cops. maybe u need to send urs to visit a jail house or a morgue. sounds tough but its called tough love for a reason. they want to smoke then visit a nursing home let them meet an elder dying from smoking. they having sex take them to the health department and get them on the pill and condoms. theres tons of things u can do to show them this is what will happen if u stay on the road ur on.... its up to the parents to show the children the right way. we have to do everything in our power to teach them so they live out in the world without us when they are adults. its our job to teach and shw examples sounds like urs need some examples thrown at their faces QUICK...good luck
I think this is definitely a Perfect Idea make sure you stick to your guns though if you don't they will know they can get away this stuff all the time and you will do nothing so I say it's a great idea!
that's not harsh at all , but do you really wanna put your brother through all that??? threaten to homeschool them or send them to a border school...all girls, uniforms, and no freedom. worked on my wild and crazy sister!!! lol. good luck
I'm 23 and I say do it they have put you through alot! However it may backfire on you they may find more trouble out their. Being a newly reformed teen w a bad attitude I would put them in therapy bc of the divorce. My sis and I had lots of trouble bc of my rents split she had therapy and has done a 360. I'm pregnat w my first so I neede to change for more obvious reasons. Oh ya and my sis is 17 they're going through alot plus the stuff bc of moving and maybe feeling abandoned? Now you cant force conversation but keep them going and they should break down and talk. Also if they are really bad you can get dys involved and then all will be court mandated. Now this isn't as bad as it sounds. My sis got caught smoking at school and then cops got involved she now doesn't see her social worker she had a choice to stop bc her grades were good and her drug tests were clear. So she became responsible and they allowed her at 17 to stop seeing her worker. She is now involved in youth group and going to help New Orleans to help Habitat for Hummanity! Don't worry how harsh the punishment you need to save these childre who will soon be on their own and then they will get into big trouble in the real world. Also you don't want it rubbing off of your younger kids bc the older ones dont get in trouble! Hope this helps if you want email me!!
it sounds like you are doing all you can to help them. Counseling can only go so far particularly if they are being resistive. You certainly are not being a bad parent by placing restrictions on them and letting them know what their consequences will be if they choose to continue to make bad choices. First and foremost I think you need to follow through no matter what. You can use the time they are away to recharge yourself and they can learn something valuable by working. I would also do what I could now. alarm your doors and windows so you stop the sneaking out. No friends, time away from home, etc until theirs an improvement in behavior and grades. It's sad that it has to come to this but it's their choice to act the way they are doing. You as a parent have a responsibility to them to show them their are consequences for making bad choices. It's a tough road to be on but I think at this point you have no other choice but to show tough love. Keep your chin up, you're doing what is right for them. That makes you a good parent.
Sir you are not being harsh at all. At 16 and 17 they should not be doing haif the stuff they are doing. the only thing is that you have given them to many warnings. you see when you keep warning them and warning them all you are doing to them is like giving them a pat on the hand and saying bad girl thats naughty. you have to show them whoose boss. now you don't have to be harsh with them but you have to give them a firm hand. you need to show your girls what can happen to them if they keep trowing thier life away with this drinking and smoking a crap. Sir you need to take action before it is to late.
Take a pipe to they're heads, beat some sense into them
Hi..I have been working with ';youth at risk'; for about 15 years. Sounds like times are very tough for you and your girls. Have they been to therapy? Perhaps there are other things going on in their lives that they are not sharing. Another one of my ideas is...do you have a juvenile detention center in your area? Let them take a tour..see how their actions could possibly affect their lives. Im a firm believer in natural logical consequences....take away their ';fun stuff'; (iPODS, computers etc..) Give them heavy labor to do.
Or heck...send them to your brother if you think he could help them realize what they are doing. Oklahoma? Thats punishment alone!! (im kidding) Does he farm? They could work on his ranch? Just some suggestions...
Sorry, but not harsh enough. They need a lot more rules...starting with being respectful. Try talking openly with both of them. let them know how much you love them and that you want them to have a happy full life, but that they need to learn how to respect themselves, you %26amp; your wife, and well - everybody!! you can't help them grow into responsible adults the way they are headed. make some boundries - together. then you %26amp; your wife need to stick to it.
Your girls are almost grown, and will be moving on to college soon. they need to learn how to take care of themselves and how to deal with adults, teachers, bosses in a way that will benefit them, not make life harder.
The ranch sounds like a fun trip for al 4 of you to do together. We have a small piece of land we take our kids to for the weekend (every couple of months or so) and it really helps bring us together as a family, and enjoy the time together. I think we all let our gaurd down a little when we are away..and it really helps our relationship when we get back home.
Good luck!!! :)
Not harsh at all, Try looking into a place called the Youth Challenge. Whatever state you are in just type your state and youth challenge. It is a free military type school. Hard core boot camp. I sent two of my daughters there and it worked wonders. Good luck
Edit:
I see where you are coming from and I think you are being 100% fair to them. This is for there own good, and they WILL see this later on. Working on a ranch could bring out the best in them. You are not spending them away because you ';can't handle it'; you are doing so as a sort of self-therapy.
Follow through with your choice!
Original:
I had a ';wild'; side as a teenager and my parents threatened to send me to there friends ranch in the middle of no where, it worked a little, but strong parenting skills, listening to them and realizing this is all a cry for attention is a big key.
My mom screwed my windows shut so I couldn't sneak out, would sleep in front of the doors, home schooled me.
I bless her for all her hard work now. My parents are the reason I just celebrated my 21st birthday. There strict presistant parenting kept me a live.
Also consider family and individual therapy for them. It sounds like ther are deeper issues here.
thats not to harsh i was the same way. i'm 21 now i have change bcause my mom got sick of me and called the cops and let me spend 3 nights in jail! lol it worked
I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
Female 16 year old has lived with mother and step father entire 16 years. Actual Fathers family has reported that now 16 years later that this F child is abused. This 16 year old is a woman of full grown stature and is trained in martial arts that mother and step father, brother,sister all are Black belt level as well as the combative 16 year old that was without medication for 48 hours and was in a full blown ';Blackout'; She does not remember but ';bits and pieces of the actual events'; that transpired. Both parents were assaulted physically, mother was spit on (in the face) and step father was knocked to knees and cuts were a result. She was wrapped in mothers arms and sat down with to restrain from further harm inflicted to anyone. The 16 yr old tried to spit another time into mothers face and mom placed hand over mouth to stop the spit from hitting her again,and the mother was said to have used unapproved or done the wrong thing. Did she?I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
Check Labour Laws on the definition of ';reasonable force';. If 16 year old child is clinically combative, Restraining a child with known issues can be redefined because of these issues see the doctor. Or check with Mental Health.I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
she may need an exorcism. call your local priest.
Check Labour Laws on the definition of ';reasonable force';. If 16 year old child is clinically combative, Restraining a child with known issues can be redefined because of these issues see the doctor. Or check with Mental Health.I Need legal advice:What is the best way to stop a combative teenage child without breaking ';legal code';?
she may need an exorcism. call your local priest.
Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
I'm moving into the basement for Christmas, and I get to re-decorate it. These are some of the things I was looking for for my new room:
http://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Zeus-C鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Victorian-Accent-T鈥?/a>
http://www.shopwildthings.com/cheblmeglt鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/鈥?/a>
http://classicalguitarworkshop.com/index鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Large-Scroll-Bench鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Satin-Sheet-Set-%E鈥?/a>
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/bedandba鈥?/a>
Do you kinda see the look I'm going for? Links? Advice? Opinions?
Thank You!
And it has to be CHEAP!!!!!
(And i'm looking for any kind of furniture or accents or accessories or tables or desks or lamps or just ANYTHING!!)
(And also, can you possibly find an iPod radio or speakers that would follow this theme?)Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
sorry none of you links are working but i think you would love how my friends room is. ill try to find pics of what her room looks like, its black and red by the way, ill try to find similar pics. She has a huge wooden bed though with a white comforter and its looks really nice in there.
haha sorry i cant find anything thats in her room but its really nice. I can try to explain it though. She has a black shelf on the wall but it has like diferent squares in it (like maybe six there fairly big) and an antique bed (that i already mentioned) and an antique dest and nightstand. i dont know how big your new room will be but hers is actually like two rooms. theres like an empty door way into the next one where her closet is and one whole wall is a mirror (she was going to put in a ballet bar but just left it out so now its a mirror wall. so as i said the rest of the walls are either black or red and there is a hardwood floor. she has a few lamps in there and a stereo (black) and ipod speakers. she has this candle holder on the wall (with no candles on it) above her desk and its like probably a couple feet long and tall or whatever but its black (on a red wall) and has the little cup type things sticking out but it looks really cool and she has a light dimmer and lots of candles randomly around and what adds to it, making it really look like her room is an easle with a canvas or one of her paintings on it. so pretty much just put in things that reflect what you like. she also has a black pitcure frame with like three picture spaces up and down that have pictures of ballerinas in it(shes like a super good dancer, all diferent kinds of dance but ballet is her main one). so just put in what you like and you can find things that look erally nice but are cheep. ill try to look for more pics but i cant find any like my friends room which probably looks way better then your picturing it becuase i suck at explaining things.
One other store to try: Ikea. i love it and it has great stuff.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/catego鈥?/a>
heres a link to the bedrooms. search around im sure youll find somthing. if you ahve an ikea near you go there! it is a great store and fun to look around. they have so many bed dressings and mirrors adn picutre frames and just everything.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/produc鈥?/a>
i have this in my room but in black. think about getting picture frames and mirrors in thereAdvice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
links are not working for me
http://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Zeus-C鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Victorian-Accent-T鈥?/a>
http://www.shopwildthings.com/cheblmeglt鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/鈥?/a>
http://classicalguitarworkshop.com/index鈥?/a>
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?Dep鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Large-Scroll-Bench鈥?/a>
http://www.target.com/Satin-Sheet-Set-%E鈥?/a>
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/bedandba鈥?/a>
Do you kinda see the look I'm going for? Links? Advice? Opinions?
Thank You!
And it has to be CHEAP!!!!!
(And i'm looking for any kind of furniture or accents or accessories or tables or desks or lamps or just ANYTHING!!)
(And also, can you possibly find an iPod radio or speakers that would follow this theme?)Advice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
sorry none of you links are working but i think you would love how my friends room is. ill try to find pics of what her room looks like, its black and red by the way, ill try to find similar pics. She has a huge wooden bed though with a white comforter and its looks really nice in there.
haha sorry i cant find anything thats in her room but its really nice. I can try to explain it though. She has a black shelf on the wall but it has like diferent squares in it (like maybe six there fairly big) and an antique bed (that i already mentioned) and an antique dest and nightstand. i dont know how big your new room will be but hers is actually like two rooms. theres like an empty door way into the next one where her closet is and one whole wall is a mirror (she was going to put in a ballet bar but just left it out so now its a mirror wall. so as i said the rest of the walls are either black or red and there is a hardwood floor. she has a few lamps in there and a stereo (black) and ipod speakers. she has this candle holder on the wall (with no candles on it) above her desk and its like probably a couple feet long and tall or whatever but its black (on a red wall) and has the little cup type things sticking out but it looks really cool and she has a light dimmer and lots of candles randomly around and what adds to it, making it really look like her room is an easle with a canvas or one of her paintings on it. so pretty much just put in things that reflect what you like. she also has a black pitcure frame with like three picture spaces up and down that have pictures of ballerinas in it(shes like a super good dancer, all diferent kinds of dance but ballet is her main one). so just put in what you like and you can find things that look erally nice but are cheep. ill try to look for more pics but i cant find any like my friends room which probably looks way better then your picturing it becuase i suck at explaining things.
One other store to try: Ikea. i love it and it has great stuff.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/catego鈥?/a>
heres a link to the bedrooms. search around im sure youll find somthing. if you ahve an ikea near you go there! it is a great store and fun to look around. they have so many bed dressings and mirrors adn picutre frames and just everything.
http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/produc鈥?/a>
i have this in my room but in black. think about getting picture frames and mirrors in thereAdvice, links, or opinions for a black and white victorian/elegant teenage bedroom?
links are not working for me
Teenage ';Love'; Advice?
What do you do when the person you truly like and want to be with is with someone else, yet again they say they miss and love you?
Hi, Im A Teenager,
Who likes this boy alot. since may. i left on a trip for summer, he would always make sure how i was, says he misses me. then when she comes back in august everything is well. they hit it off great again and start ';talking';. After a while they once decided to hang at the mall. Little Did i know he wasnt talking just to me, but to another girl . his current girlfriend. He played me yeah. But i havent liked someone this much since 2 years ago, He came over saturday, we did nothing, Talk. We Went outside, it was cold, we went for a walk. he said if i didnt have a gf this would be so romantic. He told me how much he missed me, and if we went out if i would be there for him no matter what , i said yeah. He just kept on saying awe your so cute i miss you.
im so confused, i dont even know.
Oh , Any Quotes for this kind of feeling? Thanks
Feeling Gloomy. Down . Just Need Advice Please
Teenage ';Love'; Advice?
dont ever get with a boy who has a gf because believe me no matter what he tells you, you are not special to him because he is still with her.
take a good look at that girl because if he would do that to her what makes you think he would not do that to you.
i dont have a quote but a song look up meiko, boys with girlfriends
goodluckTeenage ';Love'; Advice?
Player!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think of it this way he's cheating on his gf with you.....what makes you think he won't do the same to you later on???
get rid of the piece of S*****
Its never too early for anal sex.
No quotes but that is soooo cute. But UR BFF is playing his GF. Be careful! Did U tell him U like him 2?
a salute goes out for any meaning left in the word love that just died....
real_love_advice@yahoo.com email me and ill help...IM me if u can..Thanx hope i can help
ugh. i feel so bad for you. i know how that is. you never know if they are just saying that or if they are being truly sincere. this guy is an *** and if he doesnt see what is right in front of him then he is a retard. and he is playing the both of you girls. does his gf even know what he is doing. he is wrong and leading two girls on and making them like him. this is a definition of a guy being an ***. i know that this is hard to do but you need to forget about him. he is gonna end up hurting you and confusing you and that doesnt leave you in the best condition. you need to not talk to him for a little while and show him that you will not tolerate this and that he needs to chose who he wants. he cant keep confusing you like this and you need to take a stand and show him your not letting him do this anymore.
Hi, Im A Teenager,
Who likes this boy alot. since may. i left on a trip for summer, he would always make sure how i was, says he misses me. then when she comes back in august everything is well. they hit it off great again and start ';talking';. After a while they once decided to hang at the mall. Little Did i know he wasnt talking just to me, but to another girl . his current girlfriend. He played me yeah. But i havent liked someone this much since 2 years ago, He came over saturday, we did nothing, Talk. We Went outside, it was cold, we went for a walk. he said if i didnt have a gf this would be so romantic. He told me how much he missed me, and if we went out if i would be there for him no matter what , i said yeah. He just kept on saying awe your so cute i miss you.
im so confused, i dont even know.
Oh , Any Quotes for this kind of feeling? Thanks
Feeling Gloomy. Down . Just Need Advice Please
Teenage ';Love'; Advice?
dont ever get with a boy who has a gf because believe me no matter what he tells you, you are not special to him because he is still with her.
take a good look at that girl because if he would do that to her what makes you think he would not do that to you.
i dont have a quote but a song look up meiko, boys with girlfriends
goodluckTeenage ';Love'; Advice?
Player!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think of it this way he's cheating on his gf with you.....what makes you think he won't do the same to you later on???
get rid of the piece of S*****
Its never too early for anal sex.
No quotes but that is soooo cute. But UR BFF is playing his GF. Be careful! Did U tell him U like him 2?
a salute goes out for any meaning left in the word love that just died....
real_love_advice@yahoo.com email me and ill help...IM me if u can..Thanx hope i can help
ugh. i feel so bad for you. i know how that is. you never know if they are just saying that or if they are being truly sincere. this guy is an *** and if he doesnt see what is right in front of him then he is a retard. and he is playing the both of you girls. does his gf even know what he is doing. he is wrong and leading two girls on and making them like him. this is a definition of a guy being an ***. i know that this is hard to do but you need to forget about him. he is gonna end up hurting you and confusing you and that doesnt leave you in the best condition. you need to not talk to him for a little while and show him that you will not tolerate this and that he needs to chose who he wants. he cant keep confusing you like this and you need to take a stand and show him your not letting him do this anymore.
Need advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
This is a very, very rough copy. I hate the beginning so please any suggestions! Also, how do you like the story line, style of writing, etc.
Turn off alarm clock. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Brush my teeth. Put clothes on. Fix up hair. Put on makeup. Eat breakfast. Grab my bag. Drive to school. Let the day begin. This was my usual start of day, but not today. Not Friday, November 14.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
I slam my hand on my alarm clock.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
Once again, I hit the off button on my alarm clock, but the sound continues.
“Hello?”
Ah, yes, the telephone. I slowly ease my head onto my pillow, only to jerk my head back up. Thoughts flooded through my head. Why is it dark outside? Why is my alarm clock shining on my face, reading 4:17a.m? And why do I hear a loud clash, slam of a door, and rapid footsteps coming down my hallway? I quickly realize something is not right. In fact, something is very, very wrong. I jump out of bed and hear my mother coming into my room.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Sit down, sweetie,” she told me.
I obeyed and slumped onto my bed, remembering how tired I was.
“Amy, Hailey’s mother, just called,” she said in a quite tone. “Hailey was driving to the grocery store to pick up some Aspirin when…” my mother paused.
Oh God, no, please no, I thought to myself. I knew what was coming.
“A drunk driver slammed into her car, and killed her,” she said softly.
My mind was spinning, my stomach twisting. I wasn’t like normal girls, who would burst out crying in their mother’s arms. I just sat there with shock, staring at the chocolate stain on my carpet. By now, my mother knew to just leave me, and let everything soak in. She quietly left the room. So there I was, 4:20 in the morning, darkness all around, a chocolate stain on my floor, sitting on my bed, and silently crying into my pillow.
My friendship with Hailey wasn’t the typical ‘friends since birth’ kind of thing. She had moved into a house at the end of my street in the 7th grade. We didn’t actually exchange words, until we had a leadership class together our freshman year. But, I always remember seeing her playing outside almost every night. She would play with anyone, her dad, mom, brother, sister, friends, neighbors-anyone. I used to think how amazing life must be when you were pretty, outgoing, and athletic.
She had honey-blonde hair, that would shine perfectly in the sunlight. Her wavy hair, looked as if she went to the beach every night and woke up with the perfect beachy waves. She had hazel eyes, with faded freckles on her nose and cheeks.
I am different from Hailey, much different. I have brown curly hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. Hailey was always friendly and nice. I’m always sarcastic and not really shy, but not really outgoing. I’ve always had my weird quirks about me, and I’ve always been opinionated. But as different as Hailey and I were, we just clicked.
Hailey was my best friend, even though I only knew her for 3 years. We would spend the whole summer with each other, doing anything. We would play volleyball in her lawn, eat popsicles on my porch, drive around town, and talk about boys while painting each others nails on her bed. When we were together, nothing could bring us down.
When I walked in, I instantly felt the awkwardness. People shuffled from place to place in conservative black dresses. I saw pictures of Hailey everywhere, surrounded by cards and flowers. Some of Hailey’s friends from volleyball were in a corner talking in hushed tones. I took a seat in a pew with an elderly couple at the end. Hailey would have hated being there as much as I was.
In the middle of the sermon, I heard a loud crack of thunder, followed by a rushing down pour. I glanced down in my purse, realizing I had no umbrella. This should be great, I thought. The sermon ended, but the rain continued. I waited until everyone left, to get my last glimpse of Hailey. I walked to the open door, taking in the sweet smell of rain. As I started out the door, I felt a warm pull on my wrist. I whipped my head around to see a guy with dirty blonde hair staring back at me.
“Excuse me,” I said in an irritated tone.
“Sorry, I just thought you might want to use this,” he said as he offered his umbrella.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I will do just fine,” I said.
“Well, I don’t think so. You know, I heard that if a pretty girl steps out in the rain, there is a possibility that she might start melting. So, in that case, I will escort you to your car,” He said in a playful tone.
How cute, I thought, sarcastically. He popped his umbrella open, held me by the waist, and asked me where my car was. I pointed to a red slug bug, and we walked on towards it.
“Thanks,” I said in a tight voice. I wasn’t in the mood.
“You are most certainly welcome,” He said, as he started off to his own car.
I got into my car. “Verrrrrrrrr,” my car had trouble starting lately. I tried againNeed advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
i think its pretty good the way it is, but more i would like to see a little bit more of a hook. and the death thing isnt normally a good intro for a 'romance' novel, so id rethink that. but i really like your imagery and last section.Need advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
Might want to study up on a few books and touch up on your use of words and adjectives....
Turn off alarm clock. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Brush my teeth. Put clothes on. Fix up hair. Put on makeup. Eat breakfast. Grab my bag. Drive to school. Let the day begin. This was my usual start of day, but not today. Not Friday, November 14.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
I slam my hand on my alarm clock.
“Ring, ring. Ring, ring.”
Once again, I hit the off button on my alarm clock, but the sound continues.
“Hello?”
Ah, yes, the telephone. I slowly ease my head onto my pillow, only to jerk my head back up. Thoughts flooded through my head. Why is it dark outside? Why is my alarm clock shining on my face, reading 4:17a.m? And why do I hear a loud clash, slam of a door, and rapid footsteps coming down my hallway? I quickly realize something is not right. In fact, something is very, very wrong. I jump out of bed and hear my mother coming into my room.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Sit down, sweetie,” she told me.
I obeyed and slumped onto my bed, remembering how tired I was.
“Amy, Hailey’s mother, just called,” she said in a quite tone. “Hailey was driving to the grocery store to pick up some Aspirin when…” my mother paused.
Oh God, no, please no, I thought to myself. I knew what was coming.
“A drunk driver slammed into her car, and killed her,” she said softly.
My mind was spinning, my stomach twisting. I wasn’t like normal girls, who would burst out crying in their mother’s arms. I just sat there with shock, staring at the chocolate stain on my carpet. By now, my mother knew to just leave me, and let everything soak in. She quietly left the room. So there I was, 4:20 in the morning, darkness all around, a chocolate stain on my floor, sitting on my bed, and silently crying into my pillow.
My friendship with Hailey wasn’t the typical ‘friends since birth’ kind of thing. She had moved into a house at the end of my street in the 7th grade. We didn’t actually exchange words, until we had a leadership class together our freshman year. But, I always remember seeing her playing outside almost every night. She would play with anyone, her dad, mom, brother, sister, friends, neighbors-anyone. I used to think how amazing life must be when you were pretty, outgoing, and athletic.
She had honey-blonde hair, that would shine perfectly in the sunlight. Her wavy hair, looked as if she went to the beach every night and woke up with the perfect beachy waves. She had hazel eyes, with faded freckles on her nose and cheeks.
I am different from Hailey, much different. I have brown curly hair, fair skin, and blue eyes. Hailey was always friendly and nice. I’m always sarcastic and not really shy, but not really outgoing. I’ve always had my weird quirks about me, and I’ve always been opinionated. But as different as Hailey and I were, we just clicked.
Hailey was my best friend, even though I only knew her for 3 years. We would spend the whole summer with each other, doing anything. We would play volleyball in her lawn, eat popsicles on my porch, drive around town, and talk about boys while painting each others nails on her bed. When we were together, nothing could bring us down.
When I walked in, I instantly felt the awkwardness. People shuffled from place to place in conservative black dresses. I saw pictures of Hailey everywhere, surrounded by cards and flowers. Some of Hailey’s friends from volleyball were in a corner talking in hushed tones. I took a seat in a pew with an elderly couple at the end. Hailey would have hated being there as much as I was.
In the middle of the sermon, I heard a loud crack of thunder, followed by a rushing down pour. I glanced down in my purse, realizing I had no umbrella. This should be great, I thought. The sermon ended, but the rain continued. I waited until everyone left, to get my last glimpse of Hailey. I walked to the open door, taking in the sweet smell of rain. As I started out the door, I felt a warm pull on my wrist. I whipped my head around to see a guy with dirty blonde hair staring back at me.
“Excuse me,” I said in an irritated tone.
“Sorry, I just thought you might want to use this,” he said as he offered his umbrella.
“Thanks for the offer, but I think I will do just fine,” I said.
“Well, I don’t think so. You know, I heard that if a pretty girl steps out in the rain, there is a possibility that she might start melting. So, in that case, I will escort you to your car,” He said in a playful tone.
How cute, I thought, sarcastically. He popped his umbrella open, held me by the waist, and asked me where my car was. I pointed to a red slug bug, and we walked on towards it.
“Thanks,” I said in a tight voice. I wasn’t in the mood.
“You are most certainly welcome,” He said, as he started off to his own car.
I got into my car. “Verrrrrrrrr,” my car had trouble starting lately. I tried againNeed advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
i think its pretty good the way it is, but more i would like to see a little bit more of a hook. and the death thing isnt normally a good intro for a 'romance' novel, so id rethink that. but i really like your imagery and last section.Need advice on how to make the beginning better of my teenage romance novel?
Might want to study up on a few books and touch up on your use of words and adjectives....
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